Let me paint you a picture
of how my heart was fractured
after you suddenly let go
while I'm tightly holding you

You left me with no goodbye
pushed me on the side
cut me off of your life
Now I doubt that my heart is still alive

Let me start with the blank canvass
Where you drew the night sky and the stars
Together with your promises and lies
As you avert your gaze to me and smile

You did it beautifully and gracefully
I kinda forgot how to breathe
for a moment as you lean
closer to pinch me on my cheek

Then you turn back to your art work
While I am here wondering what was that for
but my heart is happy I know for sure
so I didn't complain and let my head hung low

I was fidgeting my hands trying to calm
talking to myself to just breathe normal
asking my heart to please stop pounding
because I'm afraid you would hear it loudly beating

And then I started to panic
when you clasp your hand in mine
I started to hear my heartbeat in my ears
Then you dropped the bomb and I know my face turned white

Hopes and dreams are on the ground
along with it is my heart
and I can see it tearing apart
my legs getting weaker, I cannot stand

I fell
I actually fell with no one to catch me
I fell and you weren't there to catch me
I fell and I feel I'll be broken for an eternity

Fear is
for the weak
who faced it
with shaking feet

Fear is
for the wanderer
who left their home
to find their soul

Fear is
for the unstable minds
that found courage
in a very unstable bridge

Fear is
for the brave
As they face it
Even though they are afraid

Fear is
a piece of cake
For them
who've been in hell

Fear is
for us to take
to summon the strength
we never felt

How did it start?
When did everything started to fall apart?
How did we manage to get so far?
So far, like the unreachable star

Is this how it will end?
Our broken hearts not having time to mend?
Are we sure about the paths we're taking?
Or are you also hesitating to continue walking

You know sometimes I just want to ask
Even though it sounds like a heavy task
"Can we at least pretend everything is fine?
And if we can, let's try to salvage us at the same time"

This isn't about me being the dramatic that I am
This is me wanting to know if this is really the end
Because in me, there's a hope that we still can
It's still waiting, hiding in its den

I sound pathetic don't I?
But we're hanging by a thread and I don't want this to die
I still want another moment of you and I
But if you don't, just please don't lie

The last thing that I want to do
Is to think of you
Again and again and again
But I just can't help myself often

The last person that I want to see
Is you being near to me
But just like how I dream at night
I want you by my side with your hand in mine

The last sound that I want to hear
Is your voice ringing in my ear
just like how I hate every high pitched sound
But still I go crazy when I hear it around

The last emotion that I want to feel
Was when you left my heart broken and unhealed
I know how much it hurts and how it can be painful
But still I wanna love you like you love me too for real

It shouldn't matter if you're covered in fats
It shouldn't matter if your bones almost pop out
It shouldn't matter if your height is too short
It shouldn't matter if your height is a tower straight

The color of your skin should not be the basis
It must not be a bother what ever your race is
The language you speak must not be seen as a joke
The culture you're in shouldn't be hidden under a rock

We all complain about equality
We all ask for even judgement from the society
But what we want is for those eyes to only see
What we can offer best and not our imperfections and weakness

What we needed is to embrace ourselves
From flaws and imperfections
From incompleteness and being hollow
To the greatest things we do and know

Have you ever had a bad dream?
Or a nightmare but you don't feel like it?
Something that feels more like a bad memory
But instead it is appearing in your sleep with someone else

It's like a deja vu of the past
But with people of the present
And when you wake up
You feel like you're being squished by a truck

It's scary.
Too scary and exhausting
As you cannot get out of bed
Because you're feeling tired, scared and paralyzed

And then you wanted to do something but you feel too weak to move
You feel glued to the bed while sweating beads
Your mind running thousands of thoughts
Your eyes fixed at the ceiling while thinking

Eyes not averting nor closing
because if you look at your surroundings
You know you're surrounded by darkness
And if you close them, you see the bad dream

It's like you're being trapped
Without you realizing
So you end up not moving
Like you're dead but still breathing

I don't know but I kinda forgot myself
I don't know but I kinda don't know what's left
I don't know but I think this is some kind of factory reset?
I don't know but maybe this is something like a love receipt

You see? I was lost when you left me
just like before nothing matters, just you and me
The only difference is now the nothing that matters is me
No I don't feel sad, I just feel empty

Because when you told me that you're planning to stay
I'm already thinking ahead of the bills that we need to pay
I already saw us argue over what to cook for lunch and dinner
What to do tomorrow, what color of shirt to wear

I was black but you were all the colors
I was the sky while you are the clouds
I was the post and you were the lamp
But I realized I'm just a trend and you are a follower

I thought I highlighted your colors and yes I did but just your true color
I  thought that we're fit and we could make it work
But no I can't make you shine and you can't even shout "she's mine"
But it's okay, I understand that I'm tough and it was just a "challenge accepted "

Don't worry about this love receipt
It's fine, I had the choice to throw it but I decided to keep it
Well just in case that you come back to ask for satisfaction rate
I could show it and maybe ask for refund or in front of you maybe I could rip it