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I wish you’d rise above it all
And be the person I thought I saw.
The loving parent I dreamed you’d be,
Cherishing your kids unconditionally.
But once again, I see the truth—
That dream was never meant for you.

You taught us right from wrong, it’s true,
But failed to practice what you knew.
Believing yourself better than the rest,
Yet you’re no top-notch, high-class success.
Not even the middle ground you aspired to be,
But the dollar store version of what a parent shouldn’t be.

Your children are shattered, broken, and torn,
But instead of reflection, you point and scorn.
Blaming others, yet blind to this fact:
Every hand shaped the pain we’ve packed.
One told us love wasn’t ours to claim,
That our worth was tied to our weight and shame.
Another sought love and found none to give,
While one taught us grace in how to live.
The rest hid away, their courage sold,
Leaving us with lessons both cruel and cold.

But you, you’re the real masterstroke—
You taught us to carry everyone’s yoke.
To put ourselves last, to give and give,
Till there’s nothing left in us to live.
Now we’re all broken in different ways—
One’s near the grave, another astray,
And the last just fights to make it through the day.

They cry softly at night, their breath so thin,
You wouldn’t notice—it doesn’t fit in.
All they’ve ever wanted was to make you proud,
To feel seen, even once, above the crowd.
But your plans for them twist and betray,
Stealing their hope and their dreams away.

You rob them of money, of land, of peace,
All for a façade that will never cease.
Chasing a life to save face at work,
Pretending you’re more than a person who shirks.
But the truth is plain for all to see—
You’ve failed them, and you’ve failed me.
Rose scented candles burning softly through the night
aurora rays of holy fanning, beauteous returns
Emerald dreams give birth to dessert moon's ignite  
if life unfolds before you, meditate, discern ...

Ethereal reveries of flowers flushed in gold
pick a petal, sing a song, dance to hearts delight  
Heaven waits for angels just like you, unfold
before the sun and seize the light

Let the springtime share its prose  
watch the Bluestar flourish    
kiss the lilac, hold the rose,
close your eyes and make a wish

Rose colored glasses and fairy dust galore,  
the best things in life, you can't find in a store.
Silent echoes of my heart beating next to thine
sultry kisses in the dark, tasting fine as wine
Rhythm of our souls, waves upon the ocean
like the ebb and flow of constant emotions

Heart beat to heart beat, we move as one
like the moon circling round the sun
We are stars orbiting one another  
living and breathing, only for each other.
  Jan 14 thyreez-thy
amelie
i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i hate winter
and the cold weather always seems to get to me
i would love to migrate somewhere warmer
somewhere my seasonal depression would never eat at me

i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i always flee from things
and leave things that are good for me
i would love to be able to run away from my problems
run away from people that love me and never look back

i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i long for family
and raising kids
i would love to make a family that is better than the one i grew up in
to make a home full of love

i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i wish i was a part of a flock
and have people to count on
i would love to have a group that always gets along
always there for each other

i wish i was bird
i saw a huge flock of birds migrating today and it made me realize how interesting they are and how badly i want to be one
  Jan 14 thyreez-thy
amelie
i'm so tired
of hurting people

i'm so tired
of hurting myself

i'm so tired
of my own thoughts

i'm so tired
of myself

i'm so tired
of others

i'm so tired
of missing someone who doesn't think about me

i'm so tired
of my family

i'm so tired
of school

i'm so tired
of winter

i'm so tired
of sitting in my room

i'm so tired
of having no energy

i'm so tired
of being alone

i'm so tired
of eating

i'm so tired
of looking at myself

i'm so tired
of my body

i'm so tired
of taking care of myself

i'm so tired
of waiting for a sign

i'm so tired
of living
there is much i want to write about but this is all I could get out
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