I been trying to find the perfect way to open this.

At the same time, I really don’t think that anyone notices.

Behind these word’s a person that had lost themself and the only thing they could do is run and fight themself for their pursuit to happiness.

A simple man.
No love from his own wife.
Well maybe not in his love language at least.
They can’t even hold a conversation.
Take the *** away, there’s nothing left to lay in.
Debating with himself like everything is a complication.

She’s angry.

Always feeling you’re down and out.
Your outer shell is hard, but inside you’re crying out.
And can’t even find comfort to just talk about it.

Comfort is a thing these days that seems so challenging.
You have to find the middle ground for both of you to balance in.

To find a partner who’s on target with everything you’re missing is inevitable.
Can’t even find a cure or therapy not even using ThereFlu.
I know a lot about it, I been there too.
When the only thing you’ve got is right there staring right back at you.
Surrounded by mirrors.

In a fitting room with hits and misses like target practice.
Only thing you seem to do right is moving backwards.

Fronting for people who don’t have your back.
Nor your best interest.
Especially when they’ve never experienced your position.
This all takes persistence.

And to these, one person beings who swear that they’re so in love, when everything hits the fan how do you stay above?
Maybe you can help the next, or spark their mind to understand that everything starts from your mental and deep within.

So where do we begin?

This love cycle’s something that just happens to us over and over again.

Break the walls.
Your fitting room shouldn’t expose and fragile yourself.

Take that weight off of your shoulders and put it back on the shelf.
Give it to God.

I don’t know if it’s me being selfish.
Or habits of being selfless.
My intuition is burning, checking mileage on my wellness.

We all are careless.

I been on the road.
You can check the tire pressure.
I sit back, sip the tea and look how things were measured.

A friend of mine said “just trust me.”

So I’m patient now, don’t rush me.

But still in a dilemma to finish the race in first place.

The shoes are tight, you can check the lace.
Who’s real and who’s fake?
We all need a break.

They’re falling hard.
They break like a vase.
Banking and chase.
Well gone just as far go.

Tired of selling my soul.
I scanned so much like a bar code.

A woman said that I’m playing games so I guess we’re in story mode.

Far as stories go..
People are sharing feelings I’m like what are those.
Smell that **** a mile away without a nose.

I was the one with the dreams.
I was the one with the schemes.
Battling things on my own, feelings alone but I had a whole team.
I never said anything.
Move in silence, do my own things.
Trying to find my way to millions.
Trying to spread my own wings.

Bad habits for daily routines.
I’m always running from therapy.
Losing my balance while searching for clarity.
Now, they tell me I lack motivation,
I was just anticipating and waiting.
Waiting for timing and something,
I had no clue what it was and somehow I was losing myself.

Reforming my brand, destined and full of success.
Branches but aren’t any leaves.

I needed help.
I wouldn’t accept it, people were turning their back on me.
Act as if it didn’t matter.
My insides were shattered.
I stay to myself and now look what I got.
Use to think I was worthless believe it or not.
Now I really open my notebook and jot.

Praying for Dre because they want him to rot.
Praying for Seb because he wants his spot.
Pray for Amodre, he messed up his shots of going to college, succeeding and winning a lot.
Maleek doesn’t know if he’s human or not.
This clarity came and it got myself closer.
I needed closure from things I was burying deep down inside while destroying myself.

Grow out my hair.
Stack up my wealth.
Practicing loving myself and my health.
Watching for snakes, I’ve been working on stealth.
Playing the hand and the cards that I’m dealt.

Built for success.
Been on the road of becoming goat, I must confess.
Passing the tests that the lord has given before disappearing to catch up on rest.

A new year is coming.
We want all the money.
Telling every woman bag back.

We was lost.
We fell off track.
Let's hope we do not relapse.

How could I worry about shot clocks, when I’ve been fighting just to make it to the playoffs.
Getting fired and hired and laid off.
You’re too focused on materialistic and pretend things.
Trying to impress your friends and these women.
I say all the time let’s move different.
This won’t fix none of the things that I’ve mentioned.
The relationship’s more like tradition.

We fight and don’t talk but we're moving on.
I still stay to myself, I’ve been traded on.
I can’t rush into something I keep my patience.
But you’re giving techs, fouls and a flagrant.

We know I can hit me a buzzer to win the game.
But why would I win just to feel pain.
Trying to fix myself and my mind-frame.
Stay true to myself in my own lane.

We all know these other women all want me, but I act expensive yet they all adore me.
To tie the knot won’t complete this story.
Better tighten up, soon they can afford me.
A couple of years of dating.
We on thin ice like we’re skating.
Don’t want to break, I’m just saying.
Believe it or not, I’m not faking.
Spent my whole life for this training.

For shot clocks...

So you can keep timing me or move along.
I should be writing a better poem and songs.
Self centered, you’re right and I’m always wrong.
If anything, you’re the one taking too long.

For shot clocks...

Lately they’re tripping on Seb.
Lately they all want him dead.
Lately he’s been taking meds.
How much for your soul wasn’t theirs.
Look at the horns and their scared,
like I was the monster that’s under their beds.
When they were kids,
their dreams are deferred, in humbling waters they tread.

Lately I haven’t been smiling.
Putting my mind in alignment.
Thoughts are real loud but I’m silent.
Don’t have the time for rewinding.
Lately I haven’t been joking.
Keep to myself, and I hate being open.
Lately I haven’t been smoking.
Hit me a black and a ***** start choking.
Picked like flower, I’m chosen.
Heart feeling jaded, I’m broken.
Shy but my poems’ outspoken.
All of them serve you token.

I sit all alone on these rainy days;
Earthly temptations are getting controlling.
Sooner or later I’ll fade away, but for now I’m just waiting my moment.