the universe

vast
uncharted
no limitations

just like
my love
for you

do you know
what it's like
to feel like you're
no longer
know yourself?

do you know
what it's like
to be in such pain
that it keeps you
frozen in place,
silently suffering
with no glimmer
of hope that it will end?

do you know
what it's like
to want
to make it all stop,
even if it causes
everyone that
you love pain?

do you know
what it's like
to find the strength
to put an end
to those thoughts
and keep on going
not because you want to,
but because you have to?

do you know
what it's like
to try and piece
yourself together,
though some
of the pieces to
the puzzle (the mess)
that is you
have gone missing?

and do you know
what it's like
for months
and months
to go by
and feel no change
within yourself?

then
a n  a n g e l

do you know
what it's like
to meet someone
and feel like you've
woken up from
a long and terrible dream?

do you know
what it's like
to be around someone
who understands
everything that
you're feeling?
who understands
what you’ve
been through?

do you know
what it's like
to find a kindred soul
at the height of despair?

and do you know
what it's like
to be reminded
that life is beautiful?
that you are beautiful too?

gone are the days
where i smile without restraint
where i snort without care
and sing to my own tune

gone are the days
where i breathe easy
where things come naturally
and make sense in this world

gone are the days
where i am i truly happy
where i live stress-free
if only for a second

my days consist of me
looking around
s e a r c h i n g
w  o  n  d  e  r  i  n  g

what is life worth living for
what am i holding on to

then i look over
and see you looking at me
taking in my expression
and offering up a smile
that can melt a glacier
that's been frozen
for a thousand years

and in that moment
i have the answer
to my question

you