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Aidan A Sep 2017
Its nights like this
Where heavy hangs the heart
I wake in dark of night
Unable to soothe these fears
That I doubt my ability to
Love, rather my affinity
For something that may not
Be there any longer

These are the moments where
I feel most loss,
Lonesome in its touch,
Painful in its thought
Aidan A Sep 2018
My world doesn't need me anymore
The world never needed me
I no longer want to be a burden
To either
How many times can you re-tie
Heartstrings?
More than you wish you could

I hate myself for what
I do to others
What I do myself when they get hurt
I hate myself for not being strong enough
To realise my place in this world

I have no place here
Ill find it somewhere between
This existence,
And the next
Aidan A Jul 2017
I don't have a lot left to say.
My poetic battery is all but spent.
I leave this place with hopes that I make something of myself.
The path I will take is long and winding.
Over the last few months I have made invaluable bonds with people I did not know could impact my life with a magnitude in which they did. I met musicians who pushed my work to become so much more than I could have ever hoped to achieve on my own. I lost a few friends, I strained a few relationships.
I found love in the form of a soul that mirrored mine - the mirror in which I saw this reflection bore the image of someone I'd want to be with no matter where or how. Nothing will stop me from  ensuring the continuity of the feelings we have for each other. The spark burns bright. I will not let it reduce itself to a wisp of smoke.

Batrisyia,

I know you'll read this at some point. I know I've already written you a letter. And I know there will be times when my words are not enough - but words will be all that we have to rely on for the coming months. I need you to know now that I will always have time for you. We will game every night and joke and laugh and make ******* noises over whatever platform we choose to communicate through.

I know this will be tough, but if it were easy then there would be no accomplishment in it. You and I meld together without effort. We fight sometimes but we can never stay mad at each other. In the end, when all is said and done, I will always see you for the vibrant soul you are. Nothing that happens could possibly make you lesser in my eyes.

What is 2 years compared to 3 lifetimes?

We will find out for ourselves.

I love you.

- Aidan
Aidan A May 2017
The mod, my heart
The clouds, my blood

It feels like the coil needs replacing
And I know how to do it
For some reason I can't
Perhaps the gauge of kanthal
Is just not right for my building post

It matters not the cotton I use
If I continue with cheap liquids
For a momentary fix
Inevitably I will poison myself
And those around me
Which in itself is a personal sin

How do I set myself free,
And not only of nicotine?
Theres things I need to let go of and there are obstacles I need to get past.
Aidan A Mar 2017
If she may fall asleep
Within a solace spun of oceans deep,
Where she rests - upon a foundation of strength
And finesse, I pray her weary eyes
Will soon forget their burdens
That she will breathe new life and
See herself for the radiance
She truly is.

If I may venture,
Brave the tides and slay the demons that plague her
Perhaps spark change beyond just seeing...
Would her gaze rest upon my being?
And bless my thoughts with her complexion,
An immaculate theater of inspiration.

If I had stayed here,
And rose above my doubtful waves to find her
Drowned in sorrow, or soaked in pain
Under darkened storms and torrential rain
For and beside her I'd take my place
To coax sunrise from her cloudburst face,
To call stars for eyes, always dawning surprise -
Such grace upon my evening skies.

If I may ask her,
To let me drown within the deepest seas
Of her eyes, just a second longer,
Before they shut, and she falls asleep
Amongst unrealised dreams and bursting seams
Where I’ll be, to stay staunch and guide her
To clear conflicting briar, so she may once again rest
Upon a foundation of strength
And finesse.
An old poem with a couple new lines. Still unsure if the new stanza takes away from its original delivery. Anyways, this poem is about guardianship that is found in (some) love. It is an inherent feeling of wanting to protect those you value. Thanks for reading!
Aidan A Apr 2017
Verse 1 -
Shes done something to me that I just cant explain
And all the words I thought I lost I have regained
When paper meets the pen,
I fear the lack of ends
I know she'll list'n in
When I sing

Chorus 1 -
Go to sleep
My enchantress of a myriad,
Beautiful come with me
Eternity could be ours

Verse 2 -
I knew I'd love her even if only from afar
Away land I couldn't hope to get closer
I knew I'd love her even if I'd have to wait
A moment longer, till Im beside her...
When paper meets the pen
Thats where my love begins
Shes now the meaning
In the words that I sing

Chorus 2 -
Go to sleep
My enchantress of a myriad,
Beautiful come with me
Eternity could be ours

Show to me
My enchantress of a myriad
Leave your pain
But keep your eyes on me
We can live in fantasy
Eternity could be ours

Outro -
Go and be,
More than just my silhouette
And though you are now
Finally free
Remember our fantasy

My enchantress of a myriad.
I've been busy completing these songs for a small project of mine, so this is the extent of my poetry, of late.

The chorus stems from a much, MUCH earlier poem. This song has been 4 or 5 years in the making, so naturally the EP will be named after it.

Interested in hearing how it sounds?
https://soundcloud.com/theaidanazhar/with-which-i-let-go

Instrument is a guitalele. Uke players please take your seats. The song is meant to emulate a bittersweet lullaby.

Obviously there are mistakes and flaws in it's arrangement, but this is the song at it's core. Currently transposed in A but will be recorded in E standard, cause lets face it, no one cares about the lower octave.

Input and criticism is very welcome! Thanks for reading/listening

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