Hello, old friends -
Its about time that we met again
To read and hear and cry and cheer
Through stories and poems of
Misfortune, adventure -
Romantic in nature? Perhaps
If I were to find a muse...
But hey, that's old news.
I want to be a part of this place, again
I want to inspire
And be inspired,
To feel deeply, the desire
Of others through the words they have left
To be admired by those searching for depth,
Or strength or will or answers
To what comes next -
I want to feel love's toll upon me,
I want to be destroyed completely
Through genius words of poetic degree,
Through pain and suffering and unbridled fury
Once again to live a brief summary of
Another soul's story - and in return,
To open myself for the world to see,
In hopes that my words help set you free
Just as all yours have done for me...

I missed you all, I missed the call,
The craft in penning glimpses of my soul
And hoping someone else in this
Forgotten corner of the web
Would read my work, where they'd ebb,
And flow in understanding
That my words are the love I have
For those who made me who I am,
When they had nothing to my name,
For those who helped me fall...
And left me in disdain
And yet, I feel not sorrow nor pain.
I know good and bad
Come as one and the same -

So I'll greet you, my old friends,
When paper meets my pen,
Where my thoughts end, and ink begins
It is there that I will rise again.

Find her again,
And let her destroy you
Completely this time,
For you will not find
Another
The way that she found you.

Find her again,
And let her love flow like
Ichor, divine
For you will not long
For another
The way she has longed for you.

Find her again,
And feel safe in her arms
As if you'd never leave
Cause you wouldn't weep
For another
The way she has wept for you.

Find her again,
This time feel her in your veins
Almost as if to say
That your heart could not beat
For another
The way it had done for her,
That your eyes cannot tear
Away from the stare
That made you believe in 'forever',

For despair in her loss,
A most profound pain
Will only remain
Until

You find her again
And let her destroy you
Completely this time.

How hard can it be
To find one that will love you?

It's like looking for depth
in an ocean of shores.

I've realized that my poems
Are always so romanticized,
Always dancing around the idea
Of loving from afar

Today let me try to be
A little more straightforward.

I don't know what it is
About your demeanor
That has caused me to fixate
Over things that ended so long ago.

For someone who writes so much
About your beauty,
I don't even remember
What your face looks like
Anymore.

I can no longer recall
The way your hips
Would sway,
Only that they do
In a certain manner
That makes you, you

I've forgotten how your
Voice sounded that day
By the steps of the old basketball court
Back in boarding school

Or how you'd giggle
When I'd start a phone call
With just "Hey, beautiful."

Whether or not you read this,
What I do remember
Is how your hand clasped
Perfectly into mine
Not a forced fit,
Almost by design
And the way your singing voice
Loved to ring clear and true
Perhaps if I knew how to harmonize
I would've joined in too

Of all the things I don't remember
And to the few that I still do
Thanks for loving me as you did
...

... And Beautiful?
This one's for you.