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Alexis K Mar 2021
I wish you could see you the way I see you.
The way I see your eyes light up with excitement.
The way you smile naturally.
The warmth that radiates from your love.
I wish you could see you the way I see you.
Because then you could see the many reasons why.
Why I love you.
Alexis K Mar 2021
The wind is in your face.
It's cool and the sun is warm against your skin.
Your hair is just barely blowing in the wind behind you.
The trees are green and the grass stands at attention for you.
The fluffy clouds dance above you as the squirrels scramble.
The flowers are in bloom and colors surround you.
The serenity envelops you and all cares fly away.
Because for at least today you can be one with nature.
Alexis K Mar 2021
I have a problem.
You see, I am that type of person.
The type of person who cannot handle their own issues.
And pushes them to the side burner.
I ignore my own problems to help others with theirs,
and they never have a clue that my *** of problems is causing a fire right in front of their eyes.

I am the type of person who can smile as if my world isn't crumbling around me.
So that you can unload your problems onto me.
I have a problem.
Where I do not think my problems are issues
and they do not need to be addressed.
Simply because I tell myself "It's really not that bad."
and
"Others have it worse."

I am the friend that everyone goes to but sometimes,
I want to be left alone.
So that maybe I can deal with my own *** of problems.
A lot of people, myself included, ignore their own issues and invalidate them. Try to correct that if you are one of those people because your issues are JUST as valid as someone elses. I am good at telling other people their valid but not myself, I often use a plate analogy. Some people have paper plates and some have plastic and some have glass. If you continue to pile things onto your plate, that paper plate will break and then the plastic and then the glass. Just because you plate is stronger, doesn't mean that what is on it doesn't matter. And vise versa, just because your plate is paper and breaking fast while other's are fine, that does not mean that you're defective. It just means you need a new plate and often times we get a plate from someone else. (Therapy, support, etc.)
Alexis K Mar 2021
Everyone says I'm thriving.
When really I am drowning
just barely making ends meets
Rushing and rushing and pushing and pushing
finally done
except I'm not.
It's never done it's never over
and I have to keep pushing
when all I want to do is sleep.

And nobody really knows
just how much I'm trying to float
but its doesn't really matter
because even if they knew,
there'd be nothing they could do.

So I just have to keep pushing
until next week,
next week will be better
but then next week comes.
And I tell myself I just have to get through this week.
Next week will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.
Except it won't.
Alexis K Feb 2021
Its been a long day,
so excruciatingly hard.
I've been put through the ringer and back
In this never ending day.
Now that its coming to a close
I cant wait to go home and be in his arms.

The warm embrace that awaits me is what keeps me going.
The safety and smell within his arms
Is all I have wanted all day.
I finally get home,
To remember I am alone.

Because his arms are occupied these days.
Alexis K Feb 2021
I can not try anymore.
I'm ready to give up,
because this is too tough.
So I cannot try anymore.

                          I cannot try anymore.
                          I'm experiencing burnout,
                          And still not doing enough.
                          So I cannot try anymore.

I have no more to give.
This has ****** the life out of me.
Between the pandemic and life,
Work and school,
I am spread way too thin.
So I cannot try anymore.
Alexis K Feb 2021
I need to lose weight
But I need to love me for who I am
I need to lose weight
But I deserve clothes that fit my body now
I need to lose weight
But I need to be happy the way I am.
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