being content
never lasts long
when
you're faking it

no one knows
where i am
right now
except you

give me more
change
uncertainty

push me
to make something
beautiful
out of
my sorrow

are you ready
to give in
to
goddess magic?

my tolerance
for soul-crushing
is wearing
very thin

how many times
did i push you away
     (but i didn't mean it)
and how many times
did you come back anyway

my fire heart
will
always
win

am i always
running away
or
towards
something?

tolerance, indifference, a fog
how easy it is
to slip back in
and forget
this burning for freedom

no one
but me
knows how
to set this goddess free

my love
i know
we will meet in another life
as we have in the past
we will live out this love story
to its magnificent heights

i just wish
it had happened
in this life

i'm descending
to the depths
of doubt

we lived a thousand lives
together
in my dreams
and not one
came true

just so you know
i would have given it all up
to be with you

and just so you know
i would still
go
if you asked me


but
i understand

i’m lying
everyday
to keep
us together

what does this mean
for me and you
when i
still can’t tell the truth?

emergency
the abyss
we finally faced it
and i
stumbled back
unable to contemplate
that next
tumbling
step

i'm shedding
bad skin
learning to be
this new me

i'm slowly building
enough courage
to take
the first step

what happens
now
when
i don't love you
anymore?

my love
cannot be contained
it fills the universe
with my heart's song
for you

i'll just be here
waiting
to give you
my love

i've slowly become trapped
i'm no longer me
grasping in the dark
for the latch that,
when opened,
will set me free

am i
tumbling
into another life?

my stomach
can barely tolerate
going through the motions

can you tell me why
this life is worth living
without you?

when does
an internal rebellion
become
an external one?

when does
bravery
overcome
fear?

when does
the truth of my heart
decide
the words in my mouth?

from beneath the layers
of my buried past
you emerged
suddenly

old love, regifted

and in the middle of the night
i woke
and heard the words
emerge from the darkness

"i love you"
was all that you said

but
that was all
i needed to hear

the aurora glows
     shifts into shapes
     only my heart understands

things the heart knows
but words cannot tell

when stars fill the sky
when the waves crash
when you look into my eyes

i'm getting closer
to being OK
with keeping our love
in my pocket

today i feel you
this magic love
resonates like bass
deep in my chest
presses gently on my heart
a reminder
we are here
we are alive
we are love

my legs are kicking wildly
pushing me away
trying to get out from under
your oppression
your wringing of my soul

i know i went willingly
in the beginning
but now i have to stop it
before it's too late

O divine lover
heart liberator
with magic in your eyes
and the purest of hearts

i don't deserve you

but i love you

you don't want to say it
but i do

an expression of me, of us
words that carry feeling
depth
importance

words that sing
from my heart to yours

my collection
gems
i have them hidden
i hold them dear

precious time

a kiss
your face
our laughs

overflowing
like
me

you are divine
my savior
i cherish you

love
love
LOVE
you

kissing you was easy
bliss
a firework
the realization

"this is just the beginning"
nothing will ever be the same

lingering, savoring
"what happens now?"

--------everything
----------anything

the way you look at me
keeps changing

your eyes tell
     how deep
     how much
     how precious

we embrace now
like cradling this gem-of-a-thing
like savoring a rare,
                           fleeting,
                           wonderful,
                           incredible
                           experience

we know

you thought i was going to work
but i went north instead

driving fast around the curves
until the road's end

i have to get to the top
to the highest point

it's the farthest i can get from you
and the closest to the sky

maybe the wind will just
******* away

today
my peaceful river
reached a waterfall
i tumbled down
deep, deep
to the bottom

my sorrow
like the roaring noise
water's strength
water's howl

tomorrow
my river flows
wraps my mending heart
puts back in me
some hope

i see you cherish
i feel you loving

these things give me hope

for my tiny rebel heart

i'm a secret
hiding in plain sight

you probably feel me
or hear me sneaking at night

i can give you a hint
if you really want to know

but most of the time
it's better to let me go

you can't be my craving
you have to be my constant
not something i am always
grasping for
reaching for more

you have to be
always inside
peacefully flowing

here
not here

with you
without you

joy
sorrow

can we be two things
at once?

dot
dot
dot

did i make it awkward
or did you?

-me
--always me