Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Thandiwe Mar 2014
Since then...I allowed my heart to take whatever form it wanted.
I trusted the process, letting the heart mould itself as it is supposed to.
I had ample faith that the end is far....little did I realise the end is right next to me.

At first, it felt like a bulldozer had savaged my entire being.
Your words left my mind empty, without a way forward.
A deep grave of hate slowly formed...that is where you would end up.
As appetizing the thought...I want nothing to do you.
Even you residing in my den of enemies is not worth it.
I have done a thorough clean up of hoodlums and heartbreakers like you.
You seem so pointless. This anger towards you is pointless.

I look forward to the treasures that will bloom from this. I'm convinced there are treasures.
You have no hold over my dreams and I refuse to allow my heart to slump in your filth.
It was hard, felt like the world was dumped on my shoulders, soul dark and heavy, mouth dry and tears flooding my living room.
But after a serious self-talk....I remembered my worth, remembered you mean nothing to me....you have no hold on my destiny.
The love you spoke of was and is fake. I don't need it.

I don't need that sort of make-believe love which has no truth...
The kind that loves the idea of love...yet despises love itself.
I have no place for thieves and liars....robbers and fakes.
My mind keeps telling me this is for the best and that better days are to come.

I feel sorry for the one you chose, she knows nothing of your hoodlum ways and smooth tongue.
Coated with every lie possible yet disguised with a fake-romance finish.
She knows not of your empty heart...
your inability to be real...
your other side...
your effortless ways of hurting another...
precious time which meant zero to you...
your exhausted yet experienced hands..
your over used 'I will wait for you'....
your conniving ways disguised by caring efforts...
your smile and charm packaged by pure deceit.

She is clueless. And so in love....I shake my head in despair for you dear sister.
I trust you will not endure the heartache I did.
I hope he will see you a better person than I.
I trust he repects you. Genuinely loves you.

She will bear the brunt of your heart smashing ways.
I am done and over the 'could haves & would haves'...
New day brings new opportunity.
Time to listen to my soul and feed my mind.
Re-enjoy the beauty of living and re-mind myself of may chosen path.
Thandiwe Feb 2014
I am so disappointed...disappointed in love.
It had unlocked so many closed doors and exposed my eyes to beautiful sights.
It had my heart pounding out of excitement and my tummy in knots.
I would close my eyes and feel the warmth of your hug engulf me in its ecstasy...
Ecstasy defined as "a state of being carried away by an overwhelming emotion".
It felt like I was swept away...lifted off the ground and hung up to soak up this Love.
I had no reservations...since this love showed me sights I never knew existed.
It had my highest level of thought twisted in gold rims and candy floss...lost in the fairytale that always ends happily.
Love. Love. Love.
Words formed little bubbles of thrill all around my imagination.
Cushioning any doubt I might have. It smoothed the rough edges and made the difficult seem easy.
It had me looking forward to a life with you.
Looking forward to the fights and smiles, the laughter and cries.
I used to tell you your laughter brings so much joy to my heart...
Love. I have so many things to tell you. I have so much I want to share with you.
I am upset, disappointed...yet I am excited and I still love you, love.
When you came along I belonged to the fragile kind, the dreamy kind, those that believed in the impossible.
My heart got strengthened with each day, my poems building my broken soul.
I can still see you, every second blink has your wonderful face floating by.
I blink harder to try and remove any trace of you...
Love. Feels like you tore out my heart and smashed it against a high concrete wall.
You wore your biggest boot and kicked me in the guts, making me question if I truly deserve you.
Love. It had me writing endlessly about the golden embroidery you were adding to my tapestry.
Tapestry that details the path of my life...you my Love have been added onto my tapestry. Like it or not.
You are there, blending in with the adventures of my life.
I will remember you, forever think about you...Love, You will  settle in the depths of my being.
Stacked under the "Lost and never found".
Time to move....
Thandiwe Feb 2014
I waited patiently for what could have been...though I realise,I have been living in a bubble....I knew this would end badly.
At the sight if the text you sent, I suddenly felt a ton of despair crash my thinking....as the dreaded words punctured my being.
Awoke feeling down, wondering if this is fair, fate or plain torture.
I move on...you vanish from my thoughts and your voice fades with the rains.
If reality was our friend then fate would be different, fact is reality is set.
Time is aligned with the paths of our lives and loudly renounce the show must go on.
I will wait in baited breath for my turn and trust God has not forgotten me.
If love is life, then I need it.
If memories exist as they say they do, in yours I would like to stay.
If my heart was a book, it would have lines of you in each chapter.
Sweep me away and carry me to paradise, paradise being your mind and all that is embedded in it.
I have no place in your life and should not demand it.
Love should speak and caution my heart against such things.
I'm disappointed, upset, hopeful....these days were already written and all this isn't new to my Maker.
I seek comfort in past losers and know that will certainly not help me.
So why do I keep going in circles...can I meet a rare human who will possess the mind of a gentleman.
I will keep threading bits and pieces of words spoken so loudly in my heart.
I will return to my corner and continue writing about the happenings of my soul.
Activity is rife in my mind and I will refrain from speaking of it,instead I will find comfort on pages that will speak sense to me.
Soothe the ache your decision has caused.......

Moving on....day two and I already feel better.
I will meet my other and this will be a faint re-collection.
I will continue smiling and laughing my heart out.
Since our paths end here, I will proceed to journey and explore unique terrains.
Don't hold me back, hoping I stick around...I have no energy to fight.
My head is reasoning yet my heart is crying.
It dawns on me I have not felt like this in a very loooong time...I am blank and I don't know what to do.
I am angry yet I am hoping you recover...come back to me and make this a reality like you said you would.
I still want you, love you...check your online status and see the green light next to your name...
How my heart would weep, weep that what could have been the happiest time of my life,
has now become a devastating blow to my guts.
Time to recover, pack up my picnic basket, balloons, warm kisses and hugs, love poems and happy parade... time go home.
Continue my routine and sink in work.
Thandiwe Jan 2014
Yes I am in love...
Sticky toffee-apple kind of love.
The kind that leaves my mouth thirsty, gulping for more.
I think it's love, it feels like love, it should be love,
I have no words for this foreign emotion that has found dwelling in the open space that has been unoccupied for ages.
It's so awesome having a silly smile plastered on my face the whole day.
Easily, wonderfully, beautifully.
It could last forever, maybe it will, perhaps it will...
I never knew my mind could brew up such words, such expressions of a heart beating smoothly from the sound of your voice or the thought of your existence.
Could it all be a dream...fairy-tale...a make-believe story of two people liking each other incredibly?
Hmmmm....whatever it is, I like it. It has unearthed my buried treasurers.
Given back life to my mute opinions....re-energized my hopes for a happy-ever-after.
Thandiwe Dec 2013
It's an emotion to raw to put into words...
I have no place in my heart that rejects this feeling.
I am however looking forward to spending many days with you...
creating memories...adding golden highlights to my life's painting.
I am appreciating this rare gift you've given me.
I am slowly...gently...carefully unwrapping it to fully embrace all that lies within.
Your voice leaves my mind floating on foreign clouds. Your jokes leaves my sides aching...
Our night under the stars...in a park...on the round-about swing...kissing and forgetting the world rotates...just as we were.
Left me smiling from deep within...from areas in my soul I never thought existed.
You have brought to life the sleeping emotions I'd left in a coma after passed hurts.
They are foreign to me...strange and seem to be pushing for space in my heart.
I am still trying to find a comfortable place for them...since I had forgotten how to react to such a euphoric feeling.
The sight of your caller ID sends tingles through my body...my excitement can not be encapsulated...my smile is wide and bright....no phrases can ever describe how I feel whenever I hear from you.
It is very interesting how someone can make a heart feel so at peace...so inlove...(drastic to mention this...yet I feel this flower is soon blossoming into something thaaaat drastic).
You have taken a piece of my caged heart, exposed it to sunshine, warming it to the possibility of love.
I am happy to know you, every minute has your voice colouring my mind.
Thandiwe Oct 2013
What lies in store for a mind so divine,
Could never find, something like this can never be fully defined.
So I wait to see the unfolding of this amazing gift, though not mine.
There is high intrigue within your space, the kind of space I have not explored in ages.
Heartfelt words that regenerate my deepest thoughts.
I had eliminated the possibility of finding your kind. You appeared among the wolves and re-colored my imagination.
I wondered if your kind is still made, still exists...you proved me right when you gave me a glimpse to your thoughts.
Like a garden of splendor, with abundant treasure and amazing sights.
All capsuled in gold, I never want to depart from your side.
I say these words very carefully...thinking very deeply about where they could possibly lead.
Who you belong to is blessed...truly blessed since your mind posses depth and truth.
It is unknown where this will go, yet mentally entertaining, it also seems appealing.
Dangerous and exciting, a thrill known to cause heartache.
Clearly there is a rare connection if I write about it, you found dwelling in my words and stamped your arrival in my life, bringing on a surge of fresh air.
It is greatly unique that there is still a person of your calibre.
Every passing minute has you traveling along with my thoughts.
I reserve my heart, and protect my feelings.
I dread to hear the forbidden words yet I still lure the attraction.
Where will we go with this, countable is the length we've spoken and shared thoughts and every time I am left longing for more.
You are not mine and I should not wish you leave your other.
It would be so cheap of me. I'm tossed in the waves of a man who posses so much peace, importance,appeal....
We should keep this overflowing interest, this brewing interest that I suspect will lead nowhere.
I am intrigued by you, enticed by you. Don't want this to blossom, sense it'll get trampled on so fast from the realities we live in.
Words we share are pieces to a beautiful picture, stealing glances of our souls to paint the voices of our dreams.
Every detail of your personality resounds with beauty, delight and pure joy.
This feeble bubble I don't wish to destroy,
I simply relish in conversing with a mind so extraordinary.
There is so much I wish to share with you yet it would not be fair because you don't belong me.
My heart is wrapped in anticipation...waiting to hear from you.
There is so much I would say yet I hold back, out of respect  since I hold you on a high pedestal.
One I know you well deserve to be on, all despair vanishes when I hear from you.
Your fundamental likes are all similar to mine, it stuns me that we are in-line.
You inspire me to conceive words and thoughts of beauty, buried truth.
That clearly give account of how you make you feel.



Thandi Xaba 30 October 2013
Thandiwe Oct 2013
The bitter truth of us never entwining,
Leaves gaps of despair, clearly visible like new days dawning.
I’d pictured love a rose-embedded comfort terrain.
My being longs for your thoughts, sights highlighted only with rusted pain.
Words comfort me, sooth my swollen eyes from this visible strain.
Grieve only when I’m at rest,
Cover me with your warmth, not promising all that’s remained n the past.
Involve me in your steps in life,
As I will whole-heartedly encourage you to thrive.
Is our future visible, am I appearing artificial?
Some how all that’s sculptured on you is unmistakingly   beautiful.
Your character somehow attractive,
Smart and attentive, all you posses is angelic.
Unseen joy longs to ensure to escape and grape your soul,
Leaving glimmers of my wishes to better mankind encrusted on your being as a whole.
Reside in my poems,
Seems like my visions of our cuddle remain far from my firm hold,
Already bluntly told, never dream for gold.
When it seems I’m only capable of unleashing hurts and buried and old.
Is it a never-ending marathon?
Ran only by the luscious and slim many, which seem to win in millions.
Should my energy in binding its rich ends with yours.
Fight the resistance, press on despite the harsh unspoken course.
Have I lived to the fullest?
Seen and walked with bright souls, graced their sought-after importance.
How we wish to be loved.
Captured, taken to worlds only created melodic words.
Spin my inner-thoughts into a twirl,
Drive out all my passions, fulfilling my thirst for love and the feel of sweaty palms rubbing away the dizzy butterflies in my stomach.
A relation of intimacy and involvement slow yet growth being frantic.
Am I holding on to the impossible?
Maybe all you house is regarded false, recruiting girls naïve and gullible.
Streams of warm waters easily wet my face.
What could have shaped my out-come left me crushed and wishing for better-looking features.
A dim future, without your existence in it, one might as well not prosper.
3 Feb 2008  Thandi Xaba
Next page