Thandiwe

Thandiwe Oct 2013

To a person I once felt deeply connected to. He was a gem :

*********
Re-inviting the forgotten emotion of bliss, my heart has accepted but you are still greatly missed.
Had I erased the thought of a better union, from past sinners, selfish liars?
I'd been taught by them trust is only visible in fairy-tales, told by expert lips ejecting no remorse.
I still say...so hardened is my heart, I can't hear my soul-mate's knock.
Cemented by the deceit I was fed by those I'd hoped to grow with.
This love is a myth, not understood nor respected...hard to grasp with one breath.

But...you came along, engulfed me with unfamiliar warmth then left to sort yourself out...
Now you have sneaked your voice back into my head, leaving me wishing you remained more than a friend, the forces seem to disregard us sinners and just lead us to sad dead ends.
We dream of rare garments and jaw-dropping bank statements...I dream of having your face as my daily sight, happiness embedded in my eyes from your humble treatment.
I wish to see more of you, live knowing we walk on the same earth and value your own place of birth.

How you see me amazes me, maybe you don't see me as being amazing.
Your actions have been contradictory to your words that fulfilled me.
Once again I wonder...exactly where do you fit in my life painting.
Behind my pains and years of hoping, wishing I too would find a soul-beauty like you.
Or maybe you'd be the speck of dirt ruining my colours and joys of my life, forcing me to completely expel you from my sanity.

You'd become my partner-to-be, letting my lips celebrate the beauty of your name,
letting the random know about this special being that set my soul aflame.
My Ray of Light.... Forever my favourite, the turmoil’s and joy, have come and gone but how special you are to me will always be without a doubt.

Thandi Xaba

#love #poem #heart #hope #joy #light #ray #celebrate

Thandiwe Oct 2013

From the brown bottle

From that brown bottle.
It was his grasp on that brown bottle that led him to say I’m beautiful.
He claimed to be enticed by my speech,
Claims I’m intelligent, cute and not typical.
Yet I ask where he is…his hold on that brown bottle,
Drove him back to his sanity.
He’s awoken and now realises his mistakes on conversing with this plum flabby copy.
How taken I was, believing him.
His words forming rainbows of hope, wishing things turn out different.
Simple for him to step on my terrain,
Inflict some pain…yet he holds high his brown bottle and still claims I’m beautiful.
Where there any sincere words? The way he held my hand, activities he’s over-used, girls now forget he just doesn’t understand.
My importance, your significance.
Just because he warmed your skin, rubbing you gently certainly doesn’t mean you are anywhere near his book of greatness.
That to him is spreading open and giving him a taste of your pride.
A taste and an unpleasant ride.
He’d unlock your chambers and take you on a walk of sin.
Once his seen your paradise, he’s gotten a bit from your ripe orange, he’ll either reside or seek sweeter oranges.
Amazing how he used the best known gestures,
Sweet, empty words that seep from his sweet lips.
Yet they puncture my ears.
And bring to life my buried fears, I can now confess.
It’s because of this new this sort of treatment that has cemented my heart.
Preventing me now from hearing my soul mate’s knock.
So hardened it has become that bottle-holders like him seem to be daily prescription.
Appealing addictions which keep luring me back into their ambition.
He held high his cigarette.
Blowing the smoke out from his **** lips…I’d fallen deep into his admission.
Highly appealing, he’d look deeply into my eyes and fish for my weakness.
Hoping I’d lead him to my paradise,
Funny enough, I let him look me in the eyes and allowed him to try and find gold.
Yes I possess gold.
Never seen nor told…
It was when he held that brown bottle he claimed I’m special.
I seek his warmth now…
Missing his prints on my skin though I know many women who carry some awe already have those ‘handsome prints’.
Certainly not making me unique or special.
You lied yet again.
Maybe those are measures you take to feel on top of your game.
It was all after you drank the contents of that brown bottle you found me beautiful.
Stating you enjoy my company…little did I know that’s a line that’s escaped your lips more times then your Marlboro smoke.
Yet again you’ve successfully left me broke.
Have I lost this quest for love?
Early to wish for commitment the elders warned us about.
Thoughts so divine, that brown bottle introduced me to your beautiful mind,
I thank the brown bottle because this being uttered words unfamiliar to my ears.
Sad and pathetic as it is…I thank the brown bottle for introducing me to this being who told me I am beautiful.
Thandi Xaba
7 June 2008

Thandiwe Sep 2013

Sunshine

The rush of events has led to a gush of words, stapled with no worth.
Found heaven in the eyes of the humble, discovered calmness in minds highly beautiful.
Apart from dawns and sunsets, memories **** on dull days and leave no room for disappointments.
So many thoughts to understand, my soul has found refuge in far unlikely lands.
They buried my truth and bore statues with no value, regarded the perfect view.
We might not fit the clichés or pet names, yet still live and desire a love flame.
We might not seem ideal or even suitable to walk in public with...yet there is gold worth finding beneath the sins.
We might not be admired nor desired yet we don't carry nor wear any plastic enhancers that have gotten many enticed.
Though it seems, most eyes lust the bust, what happened to knowing the heart.
Forget the stereotype; instead find your best friend in their inner souls and deep eyes.
Can't we fall in love with the beauties of life, simple things that don't require violence or lies?
Allow us to cry from what a melody can do to our souls, exuding the warmth it cloths us with, crushing hate speech and moans.
Sometimes wish I'd be the air blown out of those shiny saxophones, forget the hurts and constant self battles that leave us alone.
Sometimes wish we spoke through music, but we have resorted to inhuman ways and the ultimate mind games, testing to see who will be more drastic.
I wish you'd fill my spirits with heavenly notes..."let me get your name so I can be more genuine" 9th Wonder say it best.
Speaking truth that lightens dark hearts and fresh regrets.
They seem to associate beauty with so many things, laughs! Jewellery and rings, money and kings, wohw!
What happens to those who embrace their truths...bringing out their inner glow.
You pants low, crazy what we find beautiful along with their flaws.
Let's escape and go were skies home our conversations, understanding each other's thoughts without disturbance.
Giving love in abundance, breathing in freshness and getting tingles from stolen glances.
How I wish...don't ever want to be selfish, your happiness will always come first.
I still admire you...mostly where your soul dwells, some things are a bit too good to be true.
Yet we still enticed, just waiting for when reality awakens and leaves our hopes sliced.
Thandi Xaba

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