i should have held you just a little bit closer.*
-k.v.

I still remember the first time I ever fell asleep in your bed. every time I opened my eyes I saw your lips slowly part and your eyelashes flutter and I swore you were the most beautiful art piece I had ever seen. we spent the entire night high off of infinities only pills could promise, watching the world around us swirl into galaxies I had spent hours telling you about. we smoked two packs that night and after every one I swore it was my last. every time I outlined your lips I swore it'd be my last taste. every time I laced our fingers I swore it'd be the last time. every time I put my hands in your hair I swore it'd be different. 8 months later and I can still taste you when I smoke my cigarettes and I still see you through the clear capsules. I can still remember what it felt like to wake up to your grumbly hello and how nothing will ever quite compare. I still remember the first time I ever fell asleep in your bed. every time I opened my eyes I realized I'd never love another human being like I do, you. do you remember?

Isn't it funny
How you dismiss the love
Of those who are probably
the most sincere
I've done it quite a lot in life
And I can't even pretend that I care
Cause I don't
When I think about it
There's rarely any stirring feeling there
It's more of an annoyance
That I don't take seriously
Crush your silly crush!
I've audibly told one to just
"Get over it" once

Isn't it funny how
You miss the love of those
that never gave it.
I've done this quite a lot in life
And I can't even pretend that I don't care
Cause I do.
When I think about it
the despairing it stirs just seems unfair
It's an unhealthy preoccupation
That I take too seriously
Weighs heavy and crushes me
Audibly looked in the mirror
And told myself to "Get over it"
Once, twice, or more.

There are many paths to take in life
But I beg of you all
Choose love.