I wrestled with the black sea
that brood inside of her,
but nothing I possessed
could stop that dark tide
from taking her.

You're my favorite
  ****** cover.
Sing for paint drizzle.
  Kick me in the leaf
    stuffed gutter.
Put me aside. Pull me aside.
  Tell me you've kinda lied.
Tell me you're kinda sad.
  Tell me you don't
    have a future
  and that you're
    kinda glad.

I love you--I want you dead.
  I want you dead. Why'd you
gotta me feel free
  and pretty?

You're my favorite
  failed abortion--
pure shock value, baby.
  Your past is a ****.
I want you to be a
  plastic bag
so I can suffocate myself
  with you--
pure shock value, baby.

I love you. I love you.
  I love you.
Welcome to getting wet.
  *******. *******.
I want to ******* like
  I have cancer--
pure shock value, baby.

La, La, La
  Go **** yourself.
La, La, La
  Go **** yourself.
La, La, La
  Everyone is a drum solo
by a numb drummer.

On, Dancer!
  On, Cupid!
*** is fun!
  No violence?
Stupid!

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed.
They roll around.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her flowers.
She placed them in a vase.

There is no I in denial.
They hug outside of
traditional thought.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They **** in bathrooms.
They make love in gardens.

There is no I in denial.
She blew a kiss.
He caught a tough break.

There is no I in denial.
He holds a box of his things,
after being shown out.
She says they'll manage.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed,
but it's not the same.
They roll around in bed,
but it begins
to feel
like effort.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her less.
She said it didn't matter.

There is no I in denial.
He feels like his father,
imagining things
she's doing.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There Is No I In Denial.
They don't talk as much.
They sit farther apart.

There Is No I In Denial.
She asks him what's wrong.
He resents her care.

There Is No I In Denial.
He gets drunk and
breaks the vase.
The flowers lay,
covered in wet glass,
sleeping in a puddle.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They don't talk, they yell.
They don't remember each other.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
He drinks more.
She feels less.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They were married underneath
an oak tree,
  She said, "I do."
He smiled and said,
  "I'm so lucky."

The flowers lay on the floor,
  dying.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
*to stay.

You make me smile
in places unknown for grins.
Come here. I'll show you.

In all honesty I've never been good with words. I never knew what to respond after the doctor would ask me what hurt, or what to tell my mother after I saw her cry when my dad left. Poetry is placing words in all the wrong places in order to build something right. Poetry is taking apart the puzzle and forcing the pieces into spaces they don't fit. I tried to write you a letter to tell you that I miss you, the problem with poetry is that there's no metaphor that makes this emptiness inside my chest any more beautiful. There's no personification real enough to make my sheets feel like you're laying in them. There's no simile literal enough to make my heart feel as though its healing. I wish I could place these words on my tongue and roll them out for you to hear, but since I've last kissed you I can't even find the motivation to part my lips. I always find myself questioning why I keep writing; because the problem with my poems is that you're never the one reading them.

The birds are debating.
It's 5 A.M.
Why the **** am I awake?