“True bravery is looking into
the mirror and admitting
the person staring back
isn’t okay. And true
friendship is sitting next to a
broken reflection till the
early hours of the morning.”

How can one describe feelings
One's that are abnormal to most
Desolation,  despair, anguish, isolation

Feeling awkward and alone in life
Even with family close by everyday
Darkness, gut wrenching pain, anxious,

Smiling yet never feeling it to one's heart
Laughter not reaching the eyes
Loving not feeling loved

Dreams unfulfilled
Arms embrace my newborn
Mourning fills my head

Overwhelming emptiness permeates every cell
Music plays the notes bring tears
Screaming within as hysteria joins the tune

All around friends and family celebrate
Heavy weight threatens to crush
Begging for relief from the oppression

Red heart clear like the perfect diamond
Swarms of black invade overpowering the light
Warmth obliterated by cold

Unrelenting tears beneath the covers
Breath held hiding the sobs
Not wanting him to hear

Love circles trying to break through
Self reflection denying any joy
Happiness, freedom, carefree needed

How can one feel these things with so many caring
Desolation, depravity, bitterness
All consuming death grip on the soul

Thoughts of regret, self doubt, undeserving fills her
Heart raging against all the blackness
He holds her tightly

Arms wrap around pulling tight and close
Willing the feelings to flow from one to the other
Joy, fulfillment, calm,

As the arms squeeze tighter
I love you fills the air over and over
Tears dry, warmth conquers chill

Love, happiness, goodness, light
Caring, sharing, oneness,
Ice shatters, light bursts through
Finally love conquers the desolation

She feels alive
Safe, loved, open to life
Storm clouds of loneliness dissipate
Leaving behind clear skies

Lastly

HAPPINESS

Written by Jennifer Humphrey 10/13/2014

i loved you for the way you grinded your teeth together,
and the way you tucked your braid inside of your hoodie.
i loved you for the freckle in your eye and the burn mark on your chest,
and the way you put your hands in my pockets to keep them warm.
i loved you for the letters you wrote,
and for your compassion,
and your wonder at life.
i loved the way you read,
and the way you smiled,
and especially the way you laughed.
and i loved the way your voice sounded on the phone.

but as you can see, i say l-o-v-e-d. because i can't love you
when you loved me.

Make a birthday poem for me
Be as talented as can be
Bring me presents of money and wine
You will do just fine
Catch me here and there
You can catch me everywhere!

Each time it diminishes, I know it's not gone forever.
It will always return.
Anger pushes me deeper into my corrupted, compromised brain.

Painless agony that hides behind a veil of apathy
I physically hurt from emotional agony.
There is no tangible reason.

I'm fighting myself, and no matter who wins, I will always lose.

I am a zombie–
Neither dead nor alive, but merely walking around, bringing others down.