A new introspection incited within this body of mine,
When he left early that one morning;
As I lay naked in the bed,
Wrapped within the white sheets
A gut-wrenching feeling irritated me.
Whenever I saw the bed sheet so tightly enveloping the bed,
It seemed as if the bed and the sheet were soul mates,
For they never separated from each other
This perennial intimacy was something I couldn't get,
Because what I did,
And what time made me do,
Was sit in the lap of a stranger every night,
And show him fallacious pleasure.
Every day, new people, new demands and new currencies
But that one morning was different,
As I got out of the bed,
I looked at the mirror,
The reflection of my **** body fascinated me,
Unlike most days, when I used to callously judge my body,
For the natural flaws that hid my smooth pale white skin,
That morning was different.
I kept staring my body for hours and hours,
It made me daydreamy,
It made me feel as if contentment finally knocked my doors,
I felt beautiful,
I felt strong,
And, and I felt perfect.
That one day,
I could see Aphrodite smiling,
Pandora breathing,
And Athena pondering,
It was my body
A harlot’s body,
There was no regret,
Just delight. Just delight.

imagine;*

peace, a place in space,
for noise,
for surrendered souls,
yet unwilling to admit,
wrongs,
misgivings, distrust,
slander, lust
thrusting pain,
disdain,
lying lame, dormant
inferiority complex(es),
transferred,
disturbed.

(thirteen)

ego, self-will,
willful ******,
pertinacious
resistance,
unrelenting
tireless
forces,
evil, cunning
retrieval
of, emptied
hearts,
of hands,
tied.

(thirteen)*

© Sia Jane

I am fire & ice
I am forward motion
I am strength & determination
I am going, going gone.

I am everything you want to see
Focused and pummeling
Going where no others go
I will never stop pushing.


But there's a secret side to me
That you ain't gonna ever see
There's a lie that hides deep in me
That you wouldn't even believe.

I am trying to fight
Straining for a light
I am dying inside
Failed every time I tried.

I'm caving in to pressure
Missing the boat, missing by a mile
Life's beating me a hundred to one
The water over my head gets higher and higher.

So stop if you think I'm perfect
Stop if you think I'm what it's all about
I'm burning, true, burning to ashes
So someone douse me before I burn out.

I put on a show
I give you what you see
You see me through a haze of lies
But the backstage sees the broken me.

I burn from the inside out sometimes
When my heart likes to collapse
But sometimes it's outside in
From this life's raps & taps.

Someone gave me hope once
They told me to keep my chin up
Held me when I was crying
Helped me to get back up.

I've known that when life is harder
When I want to give in to those lies
I can't hide behind myself too long
When they know, it'll be no surprise.

I want to be someone's hope
Someone to warm their heart
I want to give them joy to believe in
Maybe acknowledging my pain is a start.

Rock & roll, ain't gonna catch my fall
I'm not from the 60's
Nor 70's generations
I'm a firmly placed, figure of 8 (oh)
Over three decades passed
Don't forget me last
I dressed in double denim
Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Bon Jovi
I'm livin' on a prayer
I've been given a gift
The gift of despair
Protect me, seize me
It ain't gonna ever live, be in vain
Know my name
It's all part of the game
Winners & losers
It's all begun
Those bitter ends come undone
Flung, flung, flung
I'll bounce back
I'm that highly strung.

© Sia Jane

~

Magenta was the sky this morn as I approached the day
Ominous of clouded rose in petal’d full array
Quietly it called to me o’er whispers on the wind
As if some scented power was a’ touch upon my skin

Engulfed in life’s serenity, so overwhelmed with fear
A brush of fate in simple terms as if the end were near
I stood to bare my feelings now a swirl in my mind
In hopes of some off distant dream so soon would come to find

Counting off the many tasks which brought me to this place
The reasons that did hold the time my sequence now did waste
Lost of any angered tears when captured on my brow
To cry, if it has come to be, then let it find me now

On my knees, the autumn ground is chilly to my touch
With gathered hands to here my chest, this future I do clutch
Loneliness companions me though still of wandered hope
I pray that what will come before my soul shall bear to cope

When suddenly a light appears, a magic in its sheen
A softer glow, this lightened mist of heaven’s tangerine
To touch upon the darkness in a spirit calling true
In witness to the morning sun that feeds the skies of blue

My heart beats now elated in a dance of utter bliss
As memories of long ago, I find they do exist
The rising sun to spill its charm in beacons shone above
This warmth I feel, rekindled flame, aglow within your love

The doubt did come of weakened state, a mind that was unclear
A hollow moment filtered in through thoughts of you not near
Alas the dreams of only one now obvious of two
For on this day, the rising sun, brings me the love of you