One look at her and I begin
to wonder
what is hiding there?

Is it the colours in her skin
the curls in her hair
the look in her eye
as she glances far and wide

Beyond the scope of
this old camera lens
no amount of effort
is taken to account
pinks, blues and blacks
all have the same impact

Her stare infectious
Her eyes so telling
Her smile whispers stories
of all those saints and sinners

Golds reflect and clash
with the studios bright lights
her eyes are those same sunbeams
her body burning them to the ground

Look her in the eye
studying her face
perfection is muted
another word needed
to replace a name
I wish to give her

Muse

Lacan brought to us
the concept of the gaze
for how shall she see herself?

Like a child's first glance?
Alice's long stare?
or is she simply oblivious
to the beauty she exudes.

© Sia Jane

----

The narration, in fact, doubles the drama
with a commentary without which no mise en scene would be possible.
Jacques Lacan

Little sisters always get the blame
Little sisters always take the pain
Little sisters are wired that way
Little sisters always lose the game

I built a sand castle around myself
I spend hours on each intricate detail
I built the castle the way I dreamed as a child
I made sure it had all those hidden doors
The ones that weave intermittently from one wing to the next
In the tunnels are where I lose myself with my imagination
The castle keeps me safe from the bad guys
I always have a place to hide within these walls
As I lug myself about crawling on my knees
I drag a life time of sorrows worries and needs
They come in journals
Those hard backed limited editions
The beautiful ones you get scared to write in
Because you don't want to damage their perfection
You pick them up from the second hand book store
The Strand on the corner of East 12th Street
You, your journal and a months' worth of reading
You walk into Books of Wonder
From the days you were read to at night as a child
I always believed that stories last a life time
That even in those worn down books
Oh those beautiful ones where you find a love letter
From decades ago
And you carry that book and pass over
The $2 and the stories live on
And the stories of those who bought the book live on
My castle was built with my fair hands
It's weathered almost all storms
I let no one in and it wasn't until
The day that I did
That the ocean of emotion I carried within
Flooded out and drowned us all
Me, those innocent characters and the books
The precious precious books, soaked and blurred
Out to sea we went
Books floating
Hearts bleeding
Bodies freezing

© Sia Jane

---

“We read to know that we are not alone.”
William Nicholson

She made her dumb
she made her numb
her heart an ocean
of a girl undone
digging her
only grave
her life's insane
her life's in vain
escaping her
a broken sin
cast adrift
no sail in sight
another mistake
shining into her life
bright lights that mark
a triangle hazard
so blinded by headlights
the love that shattered
the illusion of her baby heart
faithfully trusted
a dream of no more pain
that painted her skin
foolish cuts, bruises
waking disturbed from
an empty slumber
on her knees she prays
to a god unknown
do you exist?
becoming so tired
her body weak
the happy days
of courageous brave love
left behind
a black bin bag of
body parts removed for
each day she was
separated from her love

© Sia Jane
---
"Tell me where to go, tell me what to do, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me what to say, don’t matter if it’s true, I’ll say it all for you"

Legacy by Eminem