I sit with intravenous headphones
             a dopamine drip          
my dress pants are torn at the inner knee
my hair smells of yeast
my face itches
my eyes wander

we screech to a halt
and it hisses like a feral cat
the platform then filled with bodies
that funnel in
              shuffling        
bright as the undead

one seat from me
              he's balding        
and in the absense of hair, scabs
polka dotted,
uneavendly.
He barks to a younger man about his dog
but the younger man just stares straight forward

In the disabled seating, sits
a woman
who is not pregnant
             or crippled        
             or elderly        
her toenails are a browny-yellow, and curled like the petals of an uprooted daffodil
her breath is audible, from the tenth row back
            even over the bald man        
            even over the chugging motor        

At the front
a boy sits with his older brother -
who points at pictures in a tattered laminate book
and grunts
           yes        
and makes sounds
          yes, thats right, bus        
and groans
         it's okay, you'll see mum soon      
in discomfort,
snot seeping from his nose, spit
falling to the floor

Again, we screech to a halt
the alley cat hisses
only one at this platform

Her hair is neck length
her slip is long, silky and sky-blue
          as are her eyes        
fingers fiddle at the purse
         pursed lipped, she smiles      
... at the bus driver

Her boots sound the isle
they watch like its a runway
finding her way
Next to the boy
with the greasy hair
and the torn pants
and the sauce stained uniform
and the wandering eyes
and the inability to start a conversation

          and she sits      
          and they sit

oh, how the boys try to impress the girls
with their kickflips and the slam of the wheels

oh, how they skate and the noise that they make
the teenagers at the bus stop — a public mistake

oh, how they'll shout at the top of their lungs
on this public transport — i am the alpha

testosterone takes charge, oh how the confidence of boys
creates the environment of irritated discomfort

oh, how the ridiculousness of teen boys provides
entertainment when we forgive their misogynist vibes

and bad behaviour — we will say boys will be boys
"i'll have *** with your sister" — the conversation they employ

and oh, how they will fare evade — but hey, so will i
i wish i had their confidence at certain times

and how i wish my teen years were filled with much more fun
if i was less dysphoric and more proud of myself

and when they leave the bus a peace is then regained
the energy they took with them; a calm it creates

Ever see someone on a bus,
On a train,
Or in a park?

And they smile,
Or tuck their hair behind an ear,
Laugh,
Or even quietly frown.

Ever see someone in public,
And picture a life?
Envision a fleeting world where you swallow fear,
And smile?

Ever catch a glimpse of a life you could live?