why do i keep falling for the girls hours upon hours away?
is it for the sensation upon falling for the impossible
or is it purely because i just enjoy their existence
or possibly it could be both
i enjoy their existence but it feels impossible
because if i am friends with them and i tell them it could go two ways
it could bloom into a wondrous relationship
or it destroy the flower of friendship

so am i to enjoy the flower i have bloomed?
or risk plucking out the petals for a chance at love

decisions like these seem so daunting and terrifying
and the answers are never revealed
so unknown garden seeming thoughts will forever haunt my mind
or possibly turn into action with known results
if only flowers couldn't be broken
and purely bloomed and thrived

My empty hands had grown sticky
And will glue themselves to anyone
The smallest of a detachment
Feels like a chainsaw through my hand
Today I dug
I went where I didn't need to be
I found a boy where nobody was
But he remains
Untouchable
Unspeakable
Sticky fingers wrap around what i had already lost
You thought I was done
I thought I was done
But I looked for you
I looked and you weren't there
You never were
You never could be
In that week
I don't remember much
But you made me feel like there was a sky above my head
You made me feel okay
But i was in a room
I was by myself
You knew that
You told me I could leave
You told me no matter how quickly
I could leave
You lied to me
You ******* lied
And here I am now
With sticky fingers