its not that i hate or hated you.
its not that i didn't loved you or the other way round.
its not that you hated me.
not even because you hated me for no reason.
its not that you disappointed me.

its about me disappointing you.
the fear the weight.
its about me being weak, not being strong enough.
its about me saying "I am not stupid." Because somewhere, deed inside, says that I am.

But you said it about you.
it was and would always be how powerful you are.
it was and would always be how mighty you are.
of how you are the creator.
about how the rock was Jesus.
about how i can hold onto the miracles and things you did for me, but trust in you and speak to that rock. that i may enter into your promise for me.

it didnt  matter how weak i was. or how i think i am weak.
it didnt matter if i was gonna disappoint you or not.
it was about you not about me.

How beautiful is the sunset
Like the blood that drips down my wrists
Every
Night

Like the great painter has
Decided to paint the sky
The same color as life

How ironic that so many die at night.
How ironic that I never knew blood was so beautiful
Until it dripped from my veins.