im a sad pathetic little girl back then.
i was lost and couldnt find my place in the world.
i was broken by the boy who wouldnt even turn his head my way.
but then you came, you filled up the empty soul that was long been suffering inside this body
you made me think twice about my life and how im living it.
i started to see colors in my dull gray life again.
you brought back the life in.
you ignited the flame that was only one breathe away from being put out.
i was the happiest girl in the world.

was.

because little did i know, you build me up just to shatter me even more.
just like how you light a birthday candle and make its flame go shine brightly just to blow it out.
you ignited the flame inside me only to put it out once you got warm.
you put colors in my life only to realize halfway that you prefer black and white after all.
so you left.

now my life is back to being black and white.
please.
come back now.

i want you to come back,
i want us to go back to the way things were,
to the time when we were madly in love with each other,
to the time when you couldnt even bear to be away from me for even just a day,
to the time when everything is perfect and everyday is a perfect day--
well, not exaclt perfect because we do fight a lot and most of them are about things that didnt even matter--
but to me they were perfect because theres you and theres me and the world can go **** itself because nothing can separate us then.


then.


thats the most hurtful word that i could think of that can describe whatever im feeling rght now; whatever emptiness this is.


us....then.

its so much different from the "us" now.
because theres no "us" now.
but i guess Theodore Finch is right; theres a built-in ending in everything.

And i guess this is ours.

And even though im the least bit ready for this inevitable built-in ending that we've created for ourselves,
i cant do anything but accept it.
Because you chose this...not me.
You gave up.
You left me.
And you have someone else now,
And its game over for me.

the feeling of happiness
your love has given me
has long been missing

you are a yin fen
as much as you **** me every second of every day,
i cannot live without you,
for i will die immediately.

youre the humming
in my veins
and im just
a dust
on your fingertips

We tell each other "i love you" repeatedly,
maybe because a single i love you is not enough to express what we really feel.
Maybe our love for each other is too overwhelming to be defined by a single i love you.
But as i read my favorite poems, i stumbled upon one saying if we repeat something over and over again it'll lose its meaning.
Now im afraid to say i love you over and over again.
It might make you get used to it and make it lose its meaning to you.
How do i tell you i love you if saying "i love you" dont mean anything at all?