I stand before you
my pieces put together in shapes
that do not cut when you get close
edges turned onto myself

press your lights against my chest
the coloured pieces of my hurt
shine in a mosaic
"you are so fragile, love"
"let me take care of you"

My eyes are closed
and I let myself be swallowed
into your words
they are cold but embracing
possessive and enveloping

Cradled and helpless
my pieces shift for the mold you've made
you tell me my pain is beautiful
and I let you eat my pieces up
until there is no more of me

and there I am, an empty shell
looking to be filled
seeking for the hands
and hoping they give me back

I don't know who I am without you.

I feel like I'm in that cycle again
Where you fill me so much of your love until I'm drunken by it
To make me fall deeply in love with you
And once I do, you step back, you hold back
The confusion game begins

I start to wonder, what have I done wrong?
Am I not enough for you? Or am I too much?
Is there someone else?

When you don't look at me the way you used to,
Who do you look at?
When you don't tell me you love me,
Who do you tell it to?
When you...

I've wondered and often so wondered
These doubts pushed me to hold back just the same
To go back to doing things on my own
To build a wall around me
Higher than me, higher than you

I'd be strong for awhile
But you always had your way of breaking through that wall
Again and again
And then the cycle of the game begins

To Love is to offer someone your heart strapped to a stick of dynamite; and trusting they never light the fuse