That night was dark, cold like frost
So, I went into the dark at a lower cost.
Had something there that I would now not dare,
Because it freaked me out, gave me a scare.

The sky got lost like my body too frail,
I sold myself in the growing gale.
Slowly my body started to fail,
Called my wife to no avail.

Indeed, I realize now in the past that I kept
I haven’t met my wife, since last we slept.
But the pain is becoming too much to bear,
Like a boat in the storm, burning-sear.

Never had a kid but would like one now,
So that I don’t die like a rotten bough.
And the night was dark once again,
Lost myself in a fleeting vain.

I thought it was
The future, waiting on a distant head.
A lush eventuality
Crept towards me in the daylight, permitting me
To see the body behind the face. I imagined it
To be reaching out
And clung to windy weather, assured that
We would meet one another
In the middle.
We never met,
But it stole the sun.

Their youth has not grown old, not yet
tired, only their age
because their numbers don't add up
They is too big or too small, for this
body or this mind
they cannot be sure
Assurances is not a class they can take

after absolutism was abolished with the sun
uncertainty guides them
and they let it

What they loves is the night, and they
loved their day, and they loves the breath of life
They is not one here for adventure, but seeking it
They finds joy in the sound of silent heartbeats
and in the glow of closed store window lights
and coffeeshops and money not well spent
in excuses and experiences
down aisles and between crowds
of excessively loud and side-eyed people
infused with unseen smoke and voices
that hang in the air

in pointless conversations
about self-care and self-hatred and self-acceptance
because connection does not happen
with shared cables or hugs or fingertips

it's gotta be the craniums
tuned in to the same radio color
They smile at the time lost
and the temperature fluctuations
at warmth and unread newspapers
at insulating their takeout with their poor choices
even drinking forbidden coffee at 10 at night
vintage or handmade thrills
They laugh at the idolatry of merchandise
and the idolatry of spirituality and religion
even as they bow to the ground for their god
 
and they pray

listening to his ears for revelation
or any enlightenment left in his neurons
Input without limitation, and enjoy now
all of it is a distraction from the restriction
from the wrong place and wrong time

from the wrong skin
concealed by binding clothing, huff, huff
They inhales the world, and all the kindness but
only to exhale carbon dioxide

and that is the breath of life

I think the worst of it
Is that you.. forget
Who you were before
Memories slip away
And feelings
Until you're left with this
Vague sense, this innate
Understanding
That you used to be more
You used to be something
With more substance
Than this *ghost