He came up to me this guy and introduced
  himself
"Hello", he said, "I'm You"
I looked at him uncomprehendingly, even a
  little afraid
I thought 'How can you be me, I'm me... not
  you'
It's like he'd come to take me over
He was after my pronouns
He wanted to own me
It was like Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Or the Angel of Death, the Grim Reaper come
  to get me
I was about to take off running down the
  road
I thought "You can't take me, I... I'm already
  taken
Then I thought 'If you're me then who am I,
  I'm what then....
Maybe that was it, maybe I was a What now
And he... he was a What-not or a not-What
"You! You're You", I said back to him a little
   doubtfully
"You", he said again this time with emphasis,
  "You O'Brien"
I looked at him closely "You, you're You O'Brien" I said slowly confirming what he'd
  just said/told me
Then it hit me You!... Hugh the Borg from Star Trek (the Next Generation LoL), that episode the Borg collective Guy becomes an individual
"You're Hugh" I said greatly relieved, you're
   Hugh, Hugh with a H
It was like I'd been released 'So you're not
  me after all'.

When he'd gone though I thought, maybe if he had of being me he might have made a better job of being me than I did.

I never really liked Hugh Grant,
'til I saw him in "About a Boy",
It's not as weird as it might sound;
This lonely kid likes to hang around
And play with Hugh Grant's toys.

Wait, I didn't mean THAT! I meant CD's,
And he teaches Hugh about life...
Hugh's a loner & his life's a mess,
The kid's mum is SO depressed,
Thus their neuroses fit like peas.
(in a pod)

See, jerks in school chase the boy each day,
‘Cause he wears old, hippie clothes.
One day he hides at Hugh Grant’s pad,
Listens to music that’s kind of rad,
So he shows up every day.

Hugh and the lad start hanging out
He buys him trainers, shows him what to wear.
But soon, the kid wants Hugh for a dad,
And though it makes Hugh selfishly sad,
He kicks the poor kid out.

"Killing me softly" is the Mum's fave song
So the other kids beat him up.
In a school concert, Hugh sings along.
The mom is thrilled and cooks some Tofurkey,
Hugh joins the crowd; Thanksgiving is quirky,
And Rachel Weisz picks him up.

She’s got a son who’s kind of ******,
Over his Mum’s divorce and he tries to be Goth.
He roughs up the boy and mom is stunned,
'Cos Hugh Grant lied about having a son
So she tells him it’s a no go.

In the end, Mum doesn't commit suicide,
Though the kid DOES waste a duck,
With a loaf of Mum's 10 lb., whole wheat bread.
Everyone laughs and it clears their heads.
Mum & Boy and others get glad,
And the boy's mum finds him a new dad

Rachel forgives the boyish Hugh,
After seeing his good deed.
He loves the kid, the mum and her.
Everyone gathers for Xmas at Hugh’s’;
He wears a paper hat and agrees:

He's no longer an island and needs other folk.
The Boy gets a pal and Mum no longer sulks.
Everything is saved by the new Hugh Grant,
And at least he doesn't wear LEATHER PANTS!

HUGH HEFNER HAS PASSED AWAY
A PIONEER OF HIS TIME
THE FOUNDER OF THE ******* MAGAZINE
HIS LIFE WAS SUCH A CRIME



ALWAYS IN HIS SMOKING JACKET
HE LIVED IN THE ******* MANSION
WITH **** LADIES BY HIS SIDE


ALWAYS THE GRINNER AND *******
WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HIDE



IN 1953 THE ******* MAGAZINE WAS BORN
THE FIRST ISSUE HAD MARILYN MONROE
APPEARING IN THE ****


OH MY GOD WHAT A SHOCK
PLEASE DON'T BE SUCH A *****


REST IN PEACE HUGH

i fell in love with a boy with dark blonde hair and the most beautiful blue green eyes ive ever seen in my life

his smile is so bright that i swear he is a star
he is the sun in my galaxy

his laugh is as warm homemade chicken noodle soup;
so comforting, so nice you could cry

maybe it's a stretch to say that i'm in love
with the way he cheers up the people around him,
taking their hands and leading them into a world
where you can feel safe and finally be yourself
instead of wearing fake masks of happiness in order to protect those around you
from the hurricane you house inside

but even years of depression later,
a simple five minutes with him makes me feel immeasurable happiness

what's his secret?

if only jealousy didn't get the best of me

i wonder why i lie in bed,
daydreaming about a boy i wish i could have
but may never have

i wonder why i can never collect the courage
to just grab his hands
or hold his face and kiss him softly

i wonder why i'm so afraid of ruining our friendship and telling him how i really feel
when i so deeply just want to be his love

i wonder what he would say
if i asked him to stay in my life forever?