Have I ****** up? Yes.
Have I wanted to **** myself over a mound of thousands of fuckups? Yes.
Have I hurt myself over **** ups? Yes.
Have I drank a lot because I ****** up. Of course.
How hard have I tried my absolute hardest to specifically not **** up? Oh yea. I've ****** up a lot. I fight and claw my way out of this mound of corpses that haunt me. These corpses are my own, The corpses of myself every time I died a little when I saw people who knew who I was and who I thought liked me look at me with an expression of horror. To those people I say, think of what you felt like when you messed up, when you did or said something that you would take back any way you could. Cut them some slack or there will be another corpse on the mound.