i let myself to trust you
i even hand you a gun
that once you pull the trigger
you know
it will never get back
to you

you aimed it
to the one who gave you
you pulled it
without any guilt
you let the bullet
hit my heart

it is now stop beating
for you
it was taken away
by you

now you got no place
in my heart
no more
no more
not anymore

i lie in tears
on my excruciation
bemoan
alone
without you
by my side

a wild child full of grace
stuck in this dream of a haze
that we all agreed to call life
though most times i'd rather die

regret hatred and deception
all in the pain of excruciation
maybe someday i'll be great
despite great being the only thing
i've chosen to hate

it isn't self pity nor is it envy
it's just the thought of maybe
what i'm supposed to be is right in front of me
that i can't seem to see

for i am scared that i will love you more than i can bear