My secret wish
is just to dissolve
into my bed
to become one
with everything around
to become the fabric
of the universe

To become water
run through mountains
into green valleys
and join everyone
at the sea party
to raise up as clouds
and fall down as rain drops

To end the thirst
of one lonely human
to became his blood
to go through his lungs
through his heart
and livers
and to leave him again.

To leave the Earth
and go on a journey
that leads nowhere
into deep space
to watch it all from afar
watch it all end
and start all over again.

Tired.
Ill.
Stuck.
All is meaningless.
All is fuzzed.

I just want those arms
Clasped around me tight.
That's all.
To dissolve into his blackness.

Nothing is clear cut.
I know this.
And nothing will take away the hurt.
That's something inside me.
Something I must feel
And possibly cure
With love and care and time.

Something might take away this sickness.
Maybe.
If there's a reason.
More than just psychological - please let it be physical.
I don't know how to erase psychological pain.

I don't want to freak out.
I don't want to ruin things.
Friendship, music, this comfort I have found.
Please let this be okay.
Please let this work.
Let me find an assertion
Of my own
Even in tiredness
And let him listen
And honor that.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to lose this.

before we dissolve
there is much to be solved
we all live in a world of doubt
looking within is the only way out
find your divinity and
your tribe in your vicinity
come together to create
the opposite of hate
before it's too late