I wish you could just ******* see who I am
I am me
I am you
You are me
We are one
We are all that is
And all that is, is nothing at all

You don’t see me

I want to run away from the thoughts
That chase me like they always do.

But you,
You will NEVER catch me

My mind wakes me from a tormented sleep.
As I struggle to accept my unwavering reality
How dark are these thoughts that I keep?
Compared to my unrelenting eventuality

For Hope is a firefly, you wish to catch,
And be mesmerized by its luminescent glow.
To capture a moment underneath the jar latch,
Before it dies, and you must let it go.

Hope is fleeting, quick, and toxic
Providing a false sense of relief.
Illuminating a path, to a serendipitous salvation
Only to betray you, and leave you in disbelief

There’s a grip, that clenches my chest ever tighter, with each passing breath  
I feel bound, trapped, and suffocating in the darkness of this death
I’m paralyzed from my eyes down to my toes.
And can only think of sadness, despair, and my inescapable woes

Now, there are, sparse moments throughout the day
Where your essence escapes my mind.
I hope that this new freedom can stay.
For even only a few fractions of a second of time
I can feel the grip loosening, as my breath I can begin to attain.
For a brief moment the grip grants me hope.
… Before it strangles my heart again

She used to be alive
Not hanging on by a thread
Not worrying if she’d survive
She was living life instead
Then the lights went out
And the fears began to shout
And she sat in the dark with no desire to face another day
Out of place, out of grace
She retraced all the ways she had failed
Then she thought why waste another day?
There’s nothing left to say
Nothing left but today
Plans already underway
But there must be a reason to stay

in the darkness of the night so deep,
i wondered why your heart won't sleep,

my soul spoke up, a question sown,
to your heart's mystery, unknown

stars above, they twinkle bright,
but your heart hides in endless night,

my soul implored, with a gentle start,
why's your heart, dear, keeping apart?

I remember when I first saw you, standing firmly in the doorway.
Your hair glistened and glimmered in the air, as you, made it across your way.

You were beautiful and bold, but I could not bring myself to say hello.
You had my heart in a hold, I knew I could never let you go.

I spent an eternity thinking, of how I can lure your lust.
Until confidence came sinking, from a kind fellow, in drugs we trust.

We danced that night. And I made you feel excited.
Under the artificial light, we merged as one, our paths united.

The next several years became a blur, as we went on our world tour.
Diving into the depths of our emotions, we flew across the vastness of the oceans.

We lived through pain, and sorrow.
We grew through regret and shame.
Gifting each other our intellect to borrow.
Maintaining one another’s lit flame.

We prospered, dare I say it, we thrived.
Our souls fostered, our spirits, combined.

….

But, In the end, my heart was broken and my virtue shoved.
Those final words were never spoken, and now
you’re just someone, I once loved.