all the days just fade into one another
i do nothing, i see nothing, i am nothing
even medication and self harm cannot bring me out of this darkness
i binge and purge the demons out of me

i take all the pills at once to drown out my own self hate
i take them all to accompany the numbness in my heart
i slip down further and further
the darkness gets darker and darker

i drink away the voices in my mind
i drink until they go from sharp and bitter
to warm and soft
i drink the pain away

i cry until my heart caves in
i cry because there’s no other way
i can suffer like i should
i cry until my eyes dry out

i take the pills
i drink everything away
i cry all night
until i find the courage to end my own life.

just another name
another faceless "crazy" behind a keyboard
one that isn't even crazy.
not like the others.
no.
she's just sad.
lazy.
incapable of living.
better off dead.
even the small cries for help get lost in the void.
with only echos of "just end it" coming back to her.
she cuts into her flesh
taking pieces of herself away
and the others don't even care.
they let her keep carving ridges into her arms
why?
because she's not really crazy.
not depressed.
not suicidal.
she won't **** herself.
she's not important enough to help.
she doesn't need help.
she's not crazy.
just empty inside.
using pain to push back the darkness inside of her.
push it down.
keep it away.
cut deeper,
and deeper,
and deeper,
she reaches out again.
maybe she is sick.
no.
she's alone again.
ignored again.
she cuts again.
and again.
again.
again.
again.
again.
keep going.
"just end it"
there's no point reaching out.


not when there's no one there.