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Donna Dec 2018
I woke with the sun
Blood pressure reading today
I hope it’s not high
I’m
Off to the doc this morn I’m on new tablets I hope my reading  is normal today x
Donna Jun 2018
It's not worth stressing
about the past and future
Live in your today's
Okay so my BP still alarmly high so been given higher dosage BP tablet today even in happy events can rise BP so learning to not stress so much as well as a healthy diet and longs walk each day , hopefully in time I can get my BP back to normal :)
Have lovely week ahead love to u all **
Inspired x
Donna Jun 2018
sitting on house roof
surrounded by smokey sky
Today I'm a cloud
Not feeling well my BP is sky high and I'm feeling soz for myself :(
There are no words that I can describe my pain,
Besides fear, sheer helplessness
And bottled up pain and guilt
That was eating away at my soul
Until I couldn't bear it anymore.
1/2 a muffin and 1/4 cup of cereal
Settled in my stomach,
Only worth 1/2 my daily calories
But I still managed to feel guilty
Because of my lack of control.
Voices were screaming inside my head
I tried to fight,
I really tried
Lying to myself that it was fine,
I couldn't let myself believe I was worth anything
So I ran to the bathroom scratching my throat
Regurgitating the pride I had once swallowed.
And a lump of coal I tried to hide
Trigger warning
nic carwile May 2018
I swear,
Each nervous footstep I take,
During my late night pacing,
Pounds the phrase
"Nobody cares about you"
Syllable by syllable
Further into my mind.

And in my peaceful moments
Of ignorant bliss,
My brain snaps back
Numbly whispering,
"Things would be better,
If you were dead."

I swear,
Every chaotic night that I try to empty myself
Of all my words and problems
In the form of blood,
and with the tool of a razor blade,
My brain looks on with a satiated look,
And says, "Good job, but,
You didn't cut deep enough."

And when I empty my stomach
Of regrettable food, a.k.a empty calories,
Into the fresh-as-ceramic-snow toilet bowl,
My brain smirks and says,
"Good job, but, you didn't get enough up.

I swear to you,
My empty canvas,
My blank page,
Now corrupted with ramblings,
That when I tell my brain
That I am 'trying my best'
My brain roars back,
"Your best will never be good enough."
I cannot bare see, someone so close to me whom I care so much for, throw away their life so quickly.

— The End —