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 Jun 2014 S Smoothie
Forgotten
Depth
 Jun 2014 S Smoothie
Forgotten
Well, he's got this thing in his eyes
that makes me question love
It's a curse that has haunt me ever since
The brown that lit up in the light,
it learned me that everything has depth
Unlike my father, even if the brightest light that has ever been shone
just bathed his eyes in light
Not even then
there would be shown the slightest bit of depth
Maybe that's why I liked him so much
because he was so unlikely to become like my dad
I mean
My dad was a good man
Was
It's all the pain that changed him
I just really hope he doesn't get hurt and does not change the slightest bit
Don't let anyone take away his depth

I'm sorry, what was your question again?
I wrote my way out of the dark pages of my life.
I know what it's like to see your life hanging by a thread;
scraping your skin with your fingernails to stop yourself from crying;
weaving scars on your skin to get some high out of life.

Smiling on the outside, but tearing up on the inside.
I've been there,
disguising last rites as declarations of love;
holding out for that one guy for some unjust reason.
I was once told I was beautiful on the inside,
I used to scoff at that thought.
I couldn't be beautiful,
my metaphorical skin was sewed and patched, ruined and defiled
and there was nothing beautiful about that.
It took me a while to see that beauty for myself.
I was once that one girl sitting in corner at midnight
contemplating suicide over family tiffs, unrequited love, loss, loneliness, and every other
stuff that I couldn't deal with.
I can't look at my left wrist
without feeling some sort of disgust because of the tallies of pain
I left behind.

I had this habit of saying 'I'm always good' whenever asked
but I got tired of seeing illusions as reality,
I was tired of escaping my own life. I was not okay and I needed help.

I wish somebody had told me
this sooner:

MELANCHOLY IS NOT TRENDY, DEPRESSION IS NOT COOL,
CUTTING IS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT
SADNESS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE

It's actually sad that we,
teenagers,
advertise sadness as if it's something to be proud of.  

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
YOU DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM PEOPLE
DON'T LET HIM TELL YOU HE LIKES YOU BETTER WHEN YOU'RE BROKEN.
NO, SCARS DO NOT MAKE YOU ATTRACTIVE
SOME SCARS AREN'T WORTH HAVING
CRAZY IS NOT ****
**** IS NOT ALWAYS ****** SHEDDING A FEW KILOS WON'T MAKE HIM LIKE YOU ANY MORE THAN HE DOES
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS DON'T HEAL --words I wish I'd  heard sooner

You are not broken beyond repair

YOU ARE A PHOENIX,
A PHOENIX MUST BURN TO EMERGE.
I've read so many poems here about suicide, self harm, eating disorders and so many heartbreaking things (I admit, some of them my own) and it's just really sad. I'm not judging. Maybe I'm just growing up, I don't know. I'm just at a happy place in my life right now
 Jun 2014 S Smoothie
Paula Lee
Heavens not so far away

                               My Heart Hears Your Echo!
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