I fall in love with too many people
That I have never even met

There were things in her line of fire
She would not touch
But I
I was not one of them
When she got to you
That was it
She'd chew you up
Swallow you
And then **** you out
So you could see her beautiful insides
And when you came out
You were never the same

I lose myself sometimes
In the alcohol
And the girls
Their wet lips
Their hands grabbing at me
Begging for me
I lose myself in those moments
But then I find myself again
In your eyes
In your nail beds and earlobes
In you

I feel like I am
Many different people
At many different times
And right now
I am someone who
Wants to hurt others
And not give a ****
About the consequences

I don't dream about you
You always say
"I dreamt of you again"
And I can never say the same
Because you are never on my mind
And I am so sorry
She is always on my mind
You are just here
And she is not

They say they understand
But they don't
Emotions built up inside me
Like an overflowing cup
Things falling out,
But
Things left inside

Its as if there is a vice grip
On my heart
And every time you kiss me
It squeezes me harder and harder
I feel stuck and safe
You're constantly there
Around my heart
And you know the power you hold
You know I am
As needy as an infant
As a senile old woman
As a *******
I need you to constantly tell me
"I love you I love you"
So I know you won't leave me
And if you do
I can hold that against you
That you love me
And my constant needing pushes you away
And I am just sorry that I am like this

Line by line
I dissect you
Embrace your mind
Pick at your soul
Your dark past
Your changing present
Your beautiful flaws
Your regrets
I am trying to learn
Each crevice of your eye lid
Each stretch mark on your side
Every freckle and bump
And current bruise
And when I think I know it all
That's not possible
I'll never know enough about you