No swallow of a prescribed pill,
no inhale of sickly sweet nicotine,
no drowned shot glass,
will make me forget the pain that latched its way onto my skin
when you left without a warning.

your body is my coffin
and I wouldn't mind being buried six feet under

my favorite sound is the sound of the sharp intake of breath you take,
as my lips move from yours to the outline of your collarbone and lower,
tracing every inch of you as if you're a map and my mouth is the pen,
just finding another route to travel on.

who knew turning seventeen meant losing another best friend to drugs.

who knew another birthday meant losing another best friend just because finding the next high was more important that I ever was.

who knew the older I get the more people leave me without saying goodbye.

I'm sorry I fell too hard.
I'm sorry you refuse to meet me.
I'm sorry all my friends leave me just for another high.
I'm sorry my parents fight all the time.
I'm sorry I can't say no, but the one time I do, it's disobeyed and thrown back into my face.
I'm sorry I didn't like him because I was concerned for your safety.
I'm sorry you're too stubborn to realize that.
I'm sorry I'm too stubborn to let go.
I'm sorry I was always there for you when you weren't there for me.
I'm sorry I keep disappointing everyone I meet.
I'm sorry no one understands that I can't be alone anymore.
I'm just so **** sorry.

Love is like
a cigarette:
temporary,
but worthless
if kept
unlit.

the only reason you're alone is because you're too stuck on the idea that no one listens, but you never give them the chance.

the only reason you're alone is because you don't allow yourself to not be.  

the only reason you're alone is because you refuse to get help, you're too used to your depression that it's become your only friend.

the only reason you're alone is because you want to be.