Give her more time, she said.
So I gave her as much as time allowed,
including much I couldn't spare,
but still she hungered,
eating up my remaining time
and in no time at all
I was left
starved.

It's easy to be distracted
by each distruction of the past
It's harder to stay focused
on the fight of tomorrow

It was hiding in plain sight, yet eluded me for days. It had adopted a 'keep still and maybe he won't see me' tactic, proven to be successful on many an occasion.
When I came into the room with one purpose in mind, that is to find it at all costs, it repeatedly contended with my scan of each surface, employing its camouflage turned up to 'you'll never find me, not if you looked for the rest of your life'.
And then I remembered, I simply had to give up, and as it relaxed, it would emerge from the background, and I'd be able to put it somewhere safe where I was bound to find it next time.  Perhaps.

Our God often waits away from the crowd, standing in the margins,
right up against your discomfort of being closer to the edge of others.

He invites you to intentionally trust incidental strangers,
because that’s where He’s made his home,
in the threshold of love, in each adjoining reaction, one to the other.

So go to the margins, to the verge of your comfort, reach out
and get closer to your marginal, desert road, cross-border God.

And there you'll find the ordained moment, the precious place of gentle surprise
and the sudden challenge that heralds adventures beyond what you can ask or imagine.

Step outside your norm, but within His plan for this day

and maybe – just maybe
you’ll meet an Ethiopian.

When youth
When wit
When these weapons depart
May courage
May wisdom
May these tools prove enough

If pain was a friend instead of a burden
– if I could make peace with the unwelcome
– if perhaps I could see her as a teacher,

not in a lecture theatre (distant and with sharp echoes),
but in a private tutorial with soft furnishings
and perhaps a vase of flowers.

– If her lessons came with handouts,
exploring, with pictures, the reason for the searing,
the overwhelming

– but no,
my pain is that annoying parent on a pointless trek,
refusing to stay silent,
incessant in her insistence
that we can’t part ways.

I would make the light.

I'd take it
from wherever I found it.

I'd bring it inside
and make it work for me
and so find the hidden
and show the truth

and so lift the shadows
to their rightful place.