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So much in me wants to get out,
So much in me wants to hide
I think I am worst than Jekyll and Hyde.

My blood rushes in,
The current is pulling,
Tides are high.
I cannot understand myself.
How can I stand myself?

I am being eaten by my own sorrow,
trying to be my own hero.
8 months Ago:

I stop my music to write something for you
For you, who takes away the blues
I recall that afternoon
My eyes were hooked on you
My hands traced your lovely face
In my mind how I wish they would always stay
Every touch meant I love you
From your hair down to your chin
You are perfect to me
At that moment, when your eyes were closed,
when you were sleeping soundly,
when you were in my arms,
I was certain that there was an angel right next to me.

8 Months Later:

I do not know how you could fall in love with someone in such a short period of time, but I swear I did.
I don't know how to explain it, there was something about you that was  so intriguing ; fascinating.
Even up till now, I miss.
They told my I should not, but I just cannot help myself.


Us, no longer exists.
But always know this,
I loved you true,
And I miss you still.

I wish all our moments were on video tape, that way I could pause, rewind, forward, and play US over and over again.
this poem is more of a letter for someone I once and still hold dear. It has taken me months to finish because I did not know how to end it and I did not expect such things to happen. But now I know. I hope you get to read it.
Why do you feel all alone when you know you have someone to lean on? Why do you still force yourself onto something or someone who doesn’t want you when you know what you’re worth?
Why do you still sing when you know no one wants to hear?
Why do you laugh when you know deep inside you feel like trash?
Why do you still bother when it’s just another sick love letter?
In a sea of emotions desperately clinging onto a life saver that never clung to me
i am sadden by these unfortunate events
i never expected our love to die so quickly and so cruel
all the time and effort have been thrown out to the sea

i have never imagined this ending
i have never imagined you cheating
i have never imagined myself this hurt
i have never imagined...

i am lost again.
i lost myself in the process of loving and trying to understand you
i allowed that to happen
why did i allow that to happen?
i don't deserve to be hurt by you
You are nothing
and i am something
You are nothing
and i am something
but You made me feel like nothing
not even an apology slipped out your mouth
not even an exert of effort to fix this
i feel all kinds of things now
pain, disgust, anger...
i can only blame You
i blame You for making this heart hard again
You broke me so much that i can never more broken
You broke me so much that i feel so small.
I am in love.
Yes, I admit I am in love.
But it brings me so much disgust that I am head over heels.
I think of him every waking moment and he is even in my head before bed.
It stings my heart that I want him so much, but I don't feel the same wanting from him.

Many times I tell myself "that is how love works".

But I've had enough heartaches.
I know my limit now.
As much as I am in love with you I'm sorry but I have to love myself more this time.
This have been in my Draft since May 5 and it is only now that I am sharing this because it is too accurate.
I walk the streets,
Passing by strangers,
Exchanging glances and awkward smiles...

My arms wrapped around my own body
Trying to give warmth to myself,
Trying to stop the intense wind from blowing me away...

The street lights flicker and...
    your scent...  
                          your scent...     ling-....
                                                       ­            -ers...
                                                 Lingers....
Memories flow with each foot step.

Your scent lingers...
Your scent lingers...
Your scent lingers...

My eyes brightens,
My heart beats wild,
My mouth curls into a smile,
Sadly followed by a sigh...

I sigh as your scent lingers,
And I cannot hold you....
Not even your fingers.
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