the lights went off and the music began to play louder
there was alcohol everywhere and the feeling of living faded
being numb was the only thing every single teenager was craving for

and if I said I would miss you I would be lying
and if I told you the truth oh girl you would be dying

this love was special, this love was rare, not like the other summer
it seemed to good to be true and I started to realize I didn't deserve
your kisses, your hugs, the way you held my hand while walking

playing games with the hearts of the people I love most, it was wrong
dancing in the dark with demons, the devil was calling my name, love
I never was afraid of the things normal people would be afraid of, never

it was on a sunday when I realized this had to stop sooner or later
you were way too precious to let a broken soul ruin your beautiful heart
it was the way she looked at me at night when the moon was full, bright
it made me question everything I ever believed in, was it worth it all.

remember that night when we were dancing darling, drunk and happy
I want you to remember those nights when I am leaving tomorrow
the sun is calling my name, the adventure of the unknown, I want it
I need to get out of this city, this life and this world, Im going crazy

depression was a thing no one did and no one will ever understand
and that is okay we don't need to know everything, but let me be
I need to deal with this emotions my own way, the darkness, demons

believe me there is going to be a day I will free from all of this ..
but this is not my time yet, let me be sad and angry and misunderstood

most teenagers just need a hug..
I need an escape.

Taking a new direction
I watched you burn
I turned from you
Natural selection exists even in love
Especially in love
In symbolism you were a dove
But doves are but mortal
They die,
And olive branches drop from their beaks as they cease to fly
It's funny.
I always wanted a piece of you but never knew why.
I think I knew I was too weak
So I would take a section of your heart when we parted ways
I still have it locked away to this day
In the most personal of safes
I think its why I still feel your kiss in the rain
It doesn't stop the pain
But it makes me feel again babe
So I'm giving you thanks
At your grave as you burn into pages
And on the paper you've become
Still as white as the dove you were
I draw you a map to the piece of your heart I took
Its in the spot of the piece of mine you still have
You just have to look


I got this fire that burns
Especially for you
When I can see you and hear you
My insides melt
Like nothing I've ever felt
It burns so good
Better than it should
I shouldn't be able to handle this heat
But for you babe,
I could handle anything
I'll never retreat
Never back down
Cause with you
I'm finally standing on solid ground
And I have looked,
At that spot where my heart was that you took
A piece of yours fits in there quite nicely
I think I've always had a little part
Of your beautifully broken heart
And I know you've had mine
For quite some time
Cause I've given you the key
You have the ultimate power over me
In retrospect, you've always had me
Maybe you didn't know it
But it seems to me
That fate has finally taken a turn
Given us the chance to live, love and watch it all burn.

There's a dusty book on an old chestnut bookshelf,
'Love' scrawled across the spine in golden letters.

Everyone has read it's secrets and taken them to heart.
Everyone has tasted it's nectar and gotten drunk on its words.

Everyone has prayed to its truths.
Everyone has promised to abide.

Verse I: She will love him.
Verse II: He will love her.

She-him, he-her.
These pronouns are tattooed in my eye lids.

These pronouns course through my veins.
These pronouns are stuck in my throat.

I'm choking on a normality I've been force fed,
my insides burning with society's expectations.

As I prayed every night for the man of my dreams.
As I confessed ever boy I had ever kissed.

As I looked at him and felt nothing.
As I looked at her and felt everything.

My fingers skimmed the pages of society's bible,
the pages slicing apart my fingers and leaving blood in the margins.

When my friends placed the rosary around their hands,
and I placed my hands in hers.

When I looked into the words being taken so blindly,
and my body created antibodies for every lie I had contracted.

And I stared into the verses, washing them away with angry tears.
And I threw the book into the fire, watching as the flames made their final edits.

And I looked into her eyes, and I tasted her lips.
And I let everything about her become everything I know.

I ignored the teachings I had once treasured and wrote a book for myself.
I learned to be unfaithful, and put my faith in her.

He started as "him."

He then became "you."

He then ended as "him."