Losing you would be the end of me.
I couldn’t deal with that atrocity.
Sometimes I think you don’t understand, so I must find a way to reprimand.
I close myself off.
Anxiety fills me.
I ain’t making laws, but you think that these bills be controlling you.
Manipulation.
But I just want a simple stipulation.
An understanding of the sorts.
So I don’t have to feel this pain.
You’ll stop other painful activities when I ask.
But when it comes to smoking, I’m the one to blame.

I would despise to summarize your summer eyes,
The perceptive, deceptive, gate way to your lies,
This time I rhyme about hot fumes that are in bloom,
I've been blocked, the room is locked, hotboxed and I cry.
Days and days, depressive ways, unconsciousness grew,
Star gazing, rage is blazing and I wish I knew,
How to get up far away from suicide cars...
I meant I'm sitting on cement and then there's you.
Make amends with old guy friends, that former sugar daddy,
Reconcile for a while with people that made you happy,
Whether that be Heather, Kobe, Joe or even Maddy.
Slowly bracing myself to leave your sweet embrace,
If I put on a mask and asked for a kiss, would you give me one last taste?
A disappointed disgrace, memories replaced,
With every waking moment you were baking... what a waste.
A waste of time and a waste of rhymes,
A waste of trying to change you into something you will never be,
A complete waste of my energy.

Have you ever met someone that was completely content,
With their love and lifestyle, and all cards that were dealt,
With all faults and regrets and feelings they felt,
Through the whip, the crack, and strike of the belt,
As they knelt down to bow to a God they had known,
To sit above everything on his shiny golden throne,
While the believers carved symbols into their fragile aching bones,
And chanted quiet mantras at inconceivable tones,
They knew they were praying to something that didn’t exist,
When they accepted that, they had hurt their fists,
By throwing punches at walls that were made of bricks,
And now their mentality was too far gone to be fixed,
They gave up on the thought of a lord,
And everyone became extremely bored,
Of repetitive tasks that lead nowhere,
So they all decided to stand there, strip bare,
And **** themselves,
Then they were aware,
That whatever dwells,
In the center of the soul,
Was a cancerous being,
That played a simple role,
A role being that,
Of embers or coal,
It lights the way,
To the final destination,
It helps you and hurts you,
In its cruel manifestation,
This is the truth,
And truth shows the way,
To a simple life,
Of white, black, and gray.

Now I can finally sleep off the pain that’s been festering all day,
Some bullies push me, call me ugly-*** ***, *****, and gay,
Why is that even an insult, I thought we were past this,
I thought we were moving forward, but society’s disastrous,
Now I can see that we’re not moving forward,
And not moving backwards, just stuck in stasis,
And we all get bored, with the same ol’ basis,
Repetitive responses and actions so please, I ask, may this,
All just end while I’m lying in her arms,
And while I’m dying there, please promise me no harm,
Will ever come to the love of my life,
Cause my baby girl doesn’t deserve the pain of strife,
Doesn’t deserve the cutting knife on smooth skin,
Lose, lose, no win, win,
Abuse, abuse, just sin, sin,
Pain, please leave us on this boring static day,
May the soothing touch of pleasurable chaos soon come our way.

She smokes **** and she gets high. It hurts me and I don’t know why. I hate when she brings the **** to her mouth, when she throws her head back and her mood goes south, and she starts coughing hard and her eyes roll back.
The brain goes dumb and the smoke starts to attack her lungs and she already has a breathing problem and sleep apnea and smoking doesn’t solve em’. Doesn’t make em’ better. Just makes em’ worse, like my stupid-*** worries in every single verse. It’s like a curse that won’t end because she won’t stop, even though it hurts me and makes my heart drop into my stomach and crush the butterflies that we’re nesting and formed colonies enshrouded in her lies about using marijuana and she knows how much it hurts. So I retaliate and stop giving her my shirts. I stop being so clingy and I see her less and less, until I’m comfortable enough telling her not to undress, because I’m not that ***** and now I just feel sad almost every single day. If not, then I’m mad. This used to be a love parade where I would jump into her arms, but now this feels unhealthy and I think I’ve lost my charm. I think I’m not okay and I think she feels the same. She’s busy with her drugs and I guess I’m busy being lame, cause I don’t participate in illegal activity, so I’m a buzzkill with an abnormal affinity for a high school teenager, which is being healthy and staying out of danger. My trust seems to be the only thing that I’ll wager. I won’t stop loving her no matter how bad the pain gets. I might just need to ignore the unending thought mess, brain *****, **** yes, rid of it, I can’t take it, I’m done with this **** and I’m done with her baking it. I’m hating it and disliking her at this rate and my mind has trouble analyzing an ongoing debate whether or not I should leave her or stay by her side. My choice is a choice that will rise the tides and turn the tables. The tides of loneliness and tables of fables that are partially true, but basically biased. Breaking up with her would cause the highest form of tension that I’ve ever known. She would fall to the dirt and I’d vacate my thrown. I couldn’t give up the only love I’ve ever known. I couldn’t leave the intimacy, the whisper, the moan. I couldn’t leave the love that she shows me when she’s around, but I could leave the pain she gives me when she’s not inbound. It’s easier to love her when she’s by my side and I can hold her close and I can tell her she’s mine. She loves that noise and so do I. I’m ending this now. I need to go cry.

You are so cute,
No matter what,
From head to toes,
To ***** to ****.

You are the little,
I’m the caregiver,
Just ask for anything,
And I will deliver.

You are so pretty,
Every single day,
Please take my hand,
And I’ll show you the way,
To a happier place,
Just you and me,
No matter where we’re at,
From land to sea,
I’ll be there for you,
And try my best,
I want nothing more,
Than your happiness,
I love my lovely little girl,
My everything, my entire world,
I love you, I love you, I love you so much,
To this terrible life, you’ve become my crutch,
I’ll try to learn to stand without you,
A dependent strong man I’ll be,
The future, together will be seen through,
Together, soon we’ll move in and marry,
And have a nice life with a house and money,
Always and forever, through crying and funny,
Things that we’ll do like eat each others chins,
And share our past stories onto our kin,
But before all that,
I have something to say,
Please hear me out,
This will probably sound gay,
A lovers gay,
The cheesy type,
That makes me want,
To maybe write,
A poem for you,
On our 92nd day,
Here I go,
What I was going to say:

Is that you are the sub,
And I am the dom,
Do me the honors,
Of letting me take you to prom.

Now I guess that I am singing,
Because I have some *** to lend,
I wake up to my phone ringing,
My baby’s on the other end,
I’m tired, I’m *****, I just want to die,
Then I hear her voice and I realize,
That I need to get up so I can see her face,
I’ll kiss her and hug her and put her in her place,
I get to school, I see her, she’s wearing a dress,
My hands are all over her, I’m a ***** mess,
Her *** is pronounced, it’s a curvy masterpiece,
A slap and a bounce and a tickle and a tease,
I don’t think that this happiness will stop,
I had thought that then, but boy was I wrong,
Through every period I had missed her,
From class to class, each time, I would kiss her,
I go out of my way to be with her,
During passing period, what’s to learn?
I want to pound her sopping wet *****,
Till’ she is moaning and I feel pity,
Because sometimes daddy can be a little rough,
So I will stop all that ******* ****** stuff,
Then she will probably whimper and pout,
I’ll stuff it back in and let a load out,
That is what I want, but not what I get,
Cause out in public, she would never let,
Me stick my fingers in her tight *****,
All that would do would cause anxiety,
She’s leading me on, and says, “Daddy, please!”,
Now why the **** would she do this to me,
When we cannot **** for who knows how long,
I think about this while she’s picking flowers from the lawn,
I hate these mixed signals that are directed at me,
We don’t go to the forest and **** around the trees,
Instead she complains about the sun and the steps,
Even though she lead the way, so I’m just like “Yep,
I completely agree with you, this really *****,
If only we stayed back in the woods and just ******”,
I guess it was my fault for getting excited,
I really wanted to hold her **** and let her ride it,
At least I could spend time with my baby,
Maybe this next time, I can say, “Matey,
Treat me like a pirate and give me that *****”,
Ramming deep from behind, I love my lil’ cutie,
I was a little disappointed, but I got over it,
I have to be strong and then show her it,
Isn’t all about the majestic ***,
But it’s been too long and I want her neck,
To be covered in marks from rough kisses,
I am the sir and she’s the lil’ misses,
I hope this weekend, she can spend the night,
Then we can **** and **** without a fright,
No fear of being caught so it’s just relaxing,
Just my baby and I, continuously taxing,
Our bodies for pleasure, whether to please or be pleased,
As you can prolly tell, I can’t wait for her to ease,
Slowly down on my **** as she lets out a moan,
This is how I’m feeling in this ***** zone,
Not the twilight zone, not that sort of plot,
The type of plot that I got when I hit the ******,
I say I want to spend the day hanging away,
When what I really want is to be close to my baby,
When I have all her attention and she has mine,
When it’s not this way, then I fear I’m borderline,
Insane if I’m not insane already,
This weight that I carry is pretty ******* heavy,
I’ve been through **** that really ******* *****,
At my lowest of my low, it was just my luck,
That my baby had wriggled her way straight into my life,
She brought with her so much joy and took away all the strife,
I write these poems when I’m feeling strong emotions,
And I have the incentive to question all my notions,
And my morals and my current progress,
And how long I have to wait before I can undress,
My ****-*** girl, it’s been way to long,
Ten whole days since I’ve seen her in that thong,
Now I’m off topic and I think that I should stop,
Creating my **** desires through mental props,
And written poetry,
Whether at land or at sea,
Or in the sky or in space,
Poetry and missing you, I want to kiss your face,
Sloppy wet kisses and now I’m sad,
I want my baby and I think I’m a bad,
Boyfriend, but I try my hardest,
Whether I’m soft, hard, smart, or *******,
I’ll joke and she’ll laugh, I’ll laugh and she’ll smile,
Just for that to happen, I’d walk a thousand miles,
I should end this now, but I’m not sure how,
An hour and forty minutes of writing, then a bow?
I guess that’s just how it’s going to be,
Until I’m with her and we’re happily,
Connected enjoying each others company,
Forever and always and to many many many,
More poems filled with feelings... for you baby,
                    Some lovely poetry.