Every time
I look inside myself
I want to cry

Who is this girl?
She is disgusting
And ugly
And dumb

No one likes this girl

Every time
I look in the mirror
I want give up

Who is this girl?
She is fat
And stupid
And flawed

No one wants this girl

Every time
I think of my past
My soul starts aching

Who was that girl?
She was sweet
And kind
And lovely

What happened to that girl?

Every time
Every single time

**It hurts

Somedays
Im not strong enough
To carry on

Somedays
Im not brave enough
To ask for your help

Somedays
Im not open enough
To show how I really feel

Somedays
I dont care enough
For how I am

Somedays
I dont eat enough
Choosing starvation

Somedays*
I dont want life enough
To wanna continue

Somedays
I just feel empty inside
Screaming silently

If I had to guess on what I've seen
I'm not too sure that she likes me
I've played the game, I know it well
But with this girl it's hard to tell

If I could talk to just anyone
Then talking to him would be fun
He seems funny, he seems so nice
I only need to break the ice

I'm afraid of what she might say
If I give too much of myself away
If she thinks me another man
Will she like me for who I am

When conversing, he seems so closed
Almost as if he is trying to pose
Wondering what he is hiding
I conclude that it's dividing

With her style and class she is far above me
Afraid to ask if she could ever love me
A girl like her, a boy like me
I have my wants, she is my need*

With his depth and thought he's far away from me
Afraid to wonder if he could know me
A mind like his, a fool like me
My longing for him is decreed

you are too familiar with yourself
with your face
your body
your beauty

your reflection is an image skewed from being seen by
your same eyes too often
your confidence is a locked box you keep in the back of
your closet
your smile is more uncomfortable than it is curling and
you've grown to hate the large of your laugh

you are blind to almost all that you are

but just imagine,
for a second
what you look like
to someone who is a stranger

you could be their textbook definition of ideal
their exact description of beautiful and
you wouldn't even know it

imagine for a moment
how your greatness might resonate
with someone who has never been close to that much at once

there have been people in your life who
have attempted to break you into smaller pieces
crush you from whole so you would be easier to swallow

there will always be some who will be unable to see your worth
others who wont be able to handle you
maybe they'll see too much and try to shrink you into less
with the hopes of becoming more themselves

you build yourself quieter each time that you do
you know how to shy away from the prescence of light and
you've settled comfortably in the shadow of day

but there is someone out there waiting to hear your loud
a blank canvas ready to be filled with all of your paint
you will be the exact shade they have spent their entire life trying to find

and when they do
you'll remember that there was a time
before you were taught to see dark
when you could see all of your colors clear
without trying

Love compromises all the feeling the world has to offer but there is one to focus about;
If love is a name, pain must be its last
If love is a game, pain must be the rule
If love is a word, pain must be the synonym
And I hate it
Does it have to be like that?
In order to love you must feel the pain, somehow.
No logic, what's the rationale?