How the hell did we end up in this place
Hiding behind walls waiting for the other to take the first shot
What brothers we turned out to be
It’s tragic really, we use to be bestfriends
Had each others back through thickness and thin
Now it just seems like we are trying to drown one another in a pool of the others blood
It is so funny how life turned out this way
And it is not like we have changed as people
In fact, nothing changed
We just simply grew apart both going our separate ways
Now we are just like oil and water
Well, actually we were always like oil and water
Looking into our past we have never agreed upon anything
Always debating every thought that crossed the other’s mind
I kind of miss those days
So you know what...
I surrender, just pull the ******* trigger
End this stupid *** ******* between the two of us
This pain is something I cant do anymore,
Pull the ******* trigger already
I just want my ******* brother back
But it is clear things between us will never be the same
So if I cannot have him back in this world,
Maybe I can in the next
...I love you bro

They call me Dr.Strange because I don't thrive from the same ambition as the rest of my generation
I don't desire to **** every **** thing that walks and breathes
I was never a fan of getting high and skipping school
Hell the worse I've done is beat a ngga's *** for making a girl bleed
Yeah I'm so ******* hood, badass if you would  
A permant resident of wish a ***** woods
Where we specialize in the art of whoop ***
But at the same time I am kind
As gentle as a cotton ball
I will protect those who cannot protect themselves
Instead of being that coward who is left asking what if
But don't get my kindness twisted thinking you can trample all over my tiny self
Stomping me into the ******* ground as if I'm some type seed
But if you still have the urge to try me get this image in your head
I will make sure my weeded foot travels up your *** and out  of your mouth
I will not be afraid to rain down the scorching sensation of the hurt all over your flesh and bones
Causing you to sprout like a ******* bean stock as I just smile walking the opposite way
It is sad ****** these days try so hard to pretend to be all bad-***, talking so much **** I don't know whether to give them tissue or breath mint
Then what makes it even funnier they beat on these young girls thinking it makes them look tough
But in actuality it makes them look that much more of a ******* to society
**** is this really what male *** have come down to
A mere nuisance to society
A nation of fuckboys and male hoes
Is that what we are really aiming for
sigh wow I wonder what I'll have for dinner tonight

I have been marooned in this ****** up place for 13 years
Ever since I was 5 when I first tried to survive
But only ended up dying in the firey pitts of hell
Got shot twice in the chest and once in the head
As I drowned in a pool of my conscious blood
I can feel the walls coming down upon me
The ground collapsing beneath me
So I scream at the top of my lungs for help
But no one ever comes or they do but just stare
As I cried blood tears from my jet black eyes
Why won't you help me
You see me struggling to gasp for air but you just stare
For what...sigh
My life is ****** up but I don't want to die
Though to the world I already have,in my mind I am still alive
Can't you see that I am trying to smile
Trying to not cry anymore
I just really want to survive this cold war
Please allow me to experience no more

Bang bang
Little boy jimmy was only four years old
But at four years old he already knew what death taste like

May 16, 2012 at 11:59pm

He was found laying in his bed soaking in his own blood
It was a minute before his birthday, he was turning five on May 17, 2012
He was hit by stray bullet
Or that is what they say...

May 16, 11:56 pm

Three cops barged in Jimmy's house claiming they received a call of a disturbance
Jimmy's dad died the day after he was born and his mom was single
There was no one in the house but jimmy and his mom katrina
On the police report it read that when the cops arrived Jimmy was dead and his mom was found in the corner brutally beaten and *****
She had been shot twice in the chest and once in the head
She was permantly brain damaged and paralyzed from the waist down
Everyday she cried tears of blood and no one really knew why
But it is obviously what really happened that fateful day

May 18, 2013

Katrina was found hanging from her balcony
She committed suicide
Or was it ******
Bang bang
Thus end story of Jimmy and his family

To my future love,

Here we are in this place once again
Me at your feet making a fool of myself
Have you ever thought that these coincidental meetings are actually our destiny
That we were actually meant to be
I see the way you smile at me when we come face to face
It's the same smile you make when you're in your man's arms
You seem so relaxed and calm
As if the world suddenly feels safe

Recently I don't know what has gotten into me
My dreams seem to be so vivid while reality seems so dull
I looked into the mirror only to see a man in a white mask
His tears seeped through the cracks as if he felt an emptiness inside his soul
He seemed incomplete
His eyes were as red as the fire that burn at hell's gate
It was scary but actually kind of sad
It was me behind the mask

Without you I am nothing but a gentle breeze
Floating wanderlessly through a black ocean
My heart seems to be anchored to your very being
Clinching tightly to something that clearly isn't there
Or is it...I can't help but to think that feel the same way about me
That your heart aches for mine
I just really believe that for some reason , but if not...
I need to learn how to let go.

This letter wasn't supposed to be this long,
But it seems I can't get you out my head
You lay under a giant maple tree in a open field reading a book
Suddenly you look up and smile, waving me over as the birds sing
I smiled back of course but I didn't come to you
Instead I just laid there in a bed of flowers
There scent reminded me of you, it was lovely
At that moment I realized all of this was a dream

Or was it...
I opened my eyes and there you were before me
Here we are in this place once again
Me at your feet making a fool of myself
Only this time it will not be the same
This time I will be your man
This time you will be in my arms walking away
Why you say...


Because I just love you that way

I write this letter with blood, sweat, and tears
Broken dreams that rest in a dark ally
With nightmares that have become reality
All that sugar and spice and everything nice seems like fairy tale of a distant past
One where the streets didn't appear to be the gates of hell
Erupting in chaos as religious people pray to their god for mercy
But where is their God when they are burning in a pits of everlasting fear
Where, no where to be found, that's where
But still they remain loyal believing that he hasn't forsaken them
It really is funny how faith makes one so naive
But at the same time I respect that
It is only fair for one to clinch so tightly on the idea that the world hasn't been completely engulfed by darkness
But to be real we will be the cause of our own demise
Not our so called God
If he does exist all he does is sit back and watch as the creatures he created cause the extinction of one another
It is sad but true
It is even sadder that this is our destined faith
Am I really the only one who sees it coming?
I just pray that I am not cause I cant fight a losing battle on my own
Please someone rise from the trenches of ash and save mankind from its own demise

I have been fighting for far too long to just lay down and die
Been shot at, beat down yet still managed to survive
What's funny they treat me like I have committed some type of crime
But in actuality the only crime I have committed is being that black guy
**** I never realized racist this world truly was
It makes me want to stand here and cry to the skies
What right does the white man have to be mad at my kind
They stole us from our homes and broke our mind
Taking our culture, our religion, taking away our whole ******* identity
This is some ******* I swear
Why can't the world just be fair
All lives matter
But if you look at the world today...
You can't tell

I wrote this poem for her,
But she'll never know cause I let her go
Now I feel kind of slow
Because now I realized I loved her so
I asked the stars for advice
But they just never glow
The moon disappeared amd just wouldn't show
The rivers no longer flow
The birds sing no more
I wrote this poem for her
But of course she'll never know

I have been fighting with all my might
Shot down like I didn't even fight
**** this world isn't right
Guess I got to blow this ***** up with a stick of dynamite
I never wanted to go out this way
I just wanted to be free can't you see
My kind is still stuck in slavery
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life
Disappearing on the beach one summer night
But no, my ******* had to fight for what was right
So instead of kissing my dream girl
I'm kissing the bugs that crawl in and out my body six feet under
It wasn't even beautiful when my life was finally extinguished
Sigh maybe in the future my kind will see the light of day
But until then my soul rest at the bay
So if you need me you know where I stay

You may find pondering in the rain,
Walking along the shores of the beach
Staring at where the skies and seas meet
As I cry wondering what can I possibly say
Never once in my life have I felt this pathetic
Tripping on thin air as my feet are suffocated by the muddy sand
I never thought i'd know the sweet sensation of freedom ever again
Then suddenly I felt your warmth thawing out my frozen heart
Your skin glowed radiating a beauty that can not be measured
Your teeth shined so bright they blinded the stars in midnight skies
Your eyes were like precious rare jewels that hypnotized any who came near
You made me wonder was I dead
I have been saved by an angel
And angel was you

I do not have any epic metaphorical lines
For this poem is not me preaching from my soul
To me these are just lines on a thin sheet of paper
One that floats in the wind like a bird with broken wings drenched in sorrow's blood,
As it just attempts to become something better than itself
Not knowing that it is doomed to be marooned on the ground of this forsaken planet
Constantly being stepped on and kicked around by the wind's rough touch
Constantly catching the tears of others, but stay hiding it's own behind a cloaked mask
What a sad story for a weightless sheet of paper that just wanted to soar
Forced to live a lie everyday
Until finally it begins to decay

In the dawn of day,
This poem was written
My love was scribbled on a thin sheet of paper
As the stars danced in midnight sky
And the moon just whispers
So far away you are,my love
So far away
My heart is weak
Though you're only down the street
My mind lost in an endless pool of thoughts of you
I just want to hold you in my arms as I listen to your cute laugh
Look into your beautiful eyes as the river flows by
I wish to feel as if this moment is nothing but a dream
A dream in which I never wake from
Your smile, your smile is something beyond this world
It shines brighter than something, well bright
In all honesty it can't be described
Nor can my love for you
But I guess this little poem will have to do
I really love you

Bang Bang*
I walked in and fell to the ground
Didn't walk out with two to the chest and one to the head
Now I'm dead,
Stuck in limbo not knowing how I died
Wondering why me, why me
Last thing I remember is smiling with my girl in hand
Then suddenly seeing her hand covered in my blood
"It was an accident", they said
Shot me three times and it was an accident
This is bull I swear
Now I'm forced to watch her cry tears of blood every **** day
Thinking to herself why did it have to be this way
I swear this isn't fair
She doesn't deserve to live in such despair
They say that with time even the pain of death goes away
But I swear the pain for her only got worse
So bad that it started to drive her insane
Then one day she finally had enough and extinguished her own life
And while she moved on hoping to see me again
I was stuck here crying to myself
Thinking it shouldn't have ended this way

From nothing I became something
From something I became nothing
And from nothing I became a fraction of my former self
Struggling to walk, talk,eat,sleep
Struggling to understand where have I been, and where am I now,
As I attempt to locate my other half
Only to fail for so long
For three years in fact, I ran as fast as I could searching for the thing in something
Only to located more of nothing
Now this is my fourth year,
My senior year has finally come
And now more than ever I am determined to locate my missing thing

Pow Pow thud
I was only Seven years old when it happened
Life hadn't even begun before it was taken from me
My best friend walked in with a loaded gun
Didn't tell anyone he had it
Didn't even show any signs before he snapped
He just smiled and laughed like any other day
Then it happened
At first it was quiet
But that didn't last for very long
There was a loud bang followed by a bright light
Next thing I know I was floating away looking at my own body
Drowning in my own blood
Wasn't moving, breathing, heart wasn't pounding
I was dead before I had the chance to live
As a kid I always said I never wanted to grow up
But now,
I'd **** just to experience it for a day

As poets we are supposed to be master of words
Especially if those words are meant to describe how we feel inside
But when it comes down to you I'm more of an idiot than a poet
Simply because there are absolutely no words that come to mind
Then what makes it worse I have no idea why this is
Why I find myself staring at a blank sheet of paper for hours on end
Why I can't stop thinking about you even when you're miles away
Why I want to know ever little detail about you before I even take a glance at your physical beauty
Honestly this time I'm just clueless
Maybe it's because of that smile of yours
Or maybe it's because of those pearls for eyes that shine when the sun rises
I just really want to understand why I change so drastically when in your presence
Why my heart temporarily takes control of my mind when you walk by
Please I just want to understand why...
Why I become so happy when you say something as simple as hi
It is just so strange for I
But I would truly dread the day you say bye

It has been a long, long time since I felt this way
So long that I forgot how exquisite it felt
For the first time since that wretched day my soul is at ease
I can close my eyes and actually breathe
In my dreams I no longer see the rivers of blood
I no longer see the firey pitts of hell
No, I can actually see the beds of roses
I can actually smell their sweet scent
And I owe it all to you for setting me free
None of this could be if it wasn't for thee
Thank you for removing the shackles that forced me to my knees
You don't understand how happy I am to finally be able to be me
So I wrote this to show how grateful I truly am
Thank you for showing me the way
I'm glad you knew the right thing to say

Will you trust me just this once
Close your eyes and take my hand
Listen to our hearts beat as one
Dance with me in the river of time
Lay with me under the maple tree
Run with me in an open field
Open your eyes and look into mine
Look at the stars twinkle in the midnight skies
Place your hand upon my beating heart
Listen carefully as it sings to yours
Do you hear its soft whispers
As it screams with all its might
Can you hear its cries
Begging for you to be mine this night

I watched you fly away in a big gust of wind
You smiled as you looked towards the skies
I remember thinking there is no way she is getting that high
But then you began to rise and rise and rise
So I began to run faster and faster and faster
Only to miss you by an inch
So I watched you float away until you were out of sight
Then I turned around only to cry and clinch my fist so tight
I couldn't understand that my eyes were not playing tricks on me
That you really were gone from my tight clutch
Everyday after that I would watch the trees sway back and fourth
Listen to the birds sing as they flew around in the very skies I lost you in
Laid in open fields hoping that I'd be swept away just like you
Or at least you'd float back here next to me
Then I began to write
Into the wind she went
My love of my life
Will I ever see her again
Will I ever see the light
Is forgiveness in my future
Or will I continue to realize that I messed up
Into the wind she went
My love of my life
Rest in peace my beautiful queen
I'll never forget you I promise thee

I dedicate this poem to all of those who lost their partner. May they rest in peace.

Let's get controversial
They say being gay is wrong
TIME OUT!
Who is they and what is wrong with being gay
Does not gay mean happy
so "they" are basically saying a man/woman cant be happy
That it is a sin to pursue the goals that brings them joy in life
And before you even say it is in the bible that God hates gay
For starters the bible wasn't written by God, it was written people who thought the Earth was flat
Then let's not get the fact that we don't even know if this person we call "God" exist  
So even if he did write it why blindly follow the words of being who wont even show his face
"because I have faith"
No, its 's called being naive and stupid
I'm sorry did I offend you
Well that is how the homosexual feel 24/7
With all the persecution they are forced to withstand simply because of they way their minds think
That is not morally right and makes me sick to my stomach to know that people actually think this way
That people actually stomp these individuals through the ground because they are not like us
What kind of **** is that?
It is as if we were never taught to enjoy life
As if it's not a beautiful thing
Often forgetting that we're not all the same
That we all think and enjoy different things
So stop the hate against the gays
And just live your life keeping yourself in check

Tag you're it
Life was so much easier when we were kids
None of that real **** ******* existed in our world
Our biggest concern was oh, he stole my snack
Ha,how I long for those days to be once again
Now I often stare at stars wondering will I ever discover peace
Wondering if I will ever regain the spirit I had as a kid  
The days when I all wanted to do was go outside and enjoy life
Because now I just want to go outside and burn it to the ground
There is so much suffering in the world it makes you wonder how it still goes around
How these poor soul manage to get up even though they have been pounded down
I would say it's determination but clearly determination is telling them to kiss its ***
So what the **** is this **** we call our lives
Are we really living it to the fullest or are we living a bunch of lies
Life clearly wants us to burn to pay for our crimes against ourselves
Ourselves...
We claim to ourselves that we are heading towards a brighter future
But the only future I see...
Well let's just say there is no future
Which only makes me long for the life I had as a kid even more than I did before

I can fly like a bird with no wings.
I can chew like a ****** with no teeth
I can die like a dead man's corpse
I can do anything if I just believe

I can swim like a fish with no fins
I can dig like a dog with no paws
I can eat like a lion with no appetite
Hell I can do anything if I just believe

I can sing like a singer with no voice
I can dance like a dancer with no rythme
I can shine like a sun with no light
**** right I can do anything if I just believe

I can write like a poet with no imagination
I think like a man with no brain
Who am I kidding
I can't do anything

It's dark
Yet I can see so clearly
I think I have been here for far too long,
Because now I can even breathe in this ominous air
But never mind that
Never mind any of this
Why is so dark?
Is it my soul being reflected into reality
It even has the little speck of light that sits alone in the darkest corner
An exact replica of what I can't even see anymore
It's so cold here
Even though I sit in front of the firery pitts of hell
Oh wait I am dreaming aren't I
My eyes are just closed
No, this is real
This pain is real
This emptiness I feel is real
But I'm not alone aren't I
That light that sits in the corner of the room
Is it that you are waiting for me
I'm coming
I thank thee
Though I apologizes for making you wait for far too long

I grow tired of being weak
Always looking up to people even though they view me obsolete
I grow tired of being afraid
Trembling at the knees as eventually I collapse into the dust I am
Blowing into the wind
Viewed as nothing more than a nusiance to society
Broken I stand or at least I attempt to
But I just fall breaking apart as the lightning strikes the ground
Hardening me turning me into glass
Fragile and invisible
Yet sharp because I still have strength to protect myself
I am strong
Stronger than ox charging alone
I am brave
Braver than the African lion pouncing on its pray
Try and ******* away now
Try and keep me from being this way

I am here, but I am not alone
I...AM NOT ALONE!
No longer shall I bow down to a tyrant king
Forcing myself to forget who I am because I believe I am nobody
No longer shall I wipe away crystalized tears of sorrow
It's about time I open my eyes and see the real world
I have my friends and family to my left and right
So if I am to die tonight
Let them no my endless fight
I am not alone
No we are not alone
Not on this day , Not on any day

Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Die
Perish
Cease to exist in this world anymore
Everyday it is the same
It is the same everyday
Blocking and stabbing
Perishing and dying
What's the difference
What's the point
To discover who you really are
Well I could of answered that without this civil war
You're a monster
A pleague that infest this once peaceful land
A mere insect destined to die like the rest
Screaming at the top of its lung
But to the rest of the world you are mute
You are nothing
Another soldier fighting for "the cause"
What cause,peace
Since when has peace come from violence
From violence only more violence come from it
That's just how the world works
It cannot look the other way just because you have ambition
The world is a cruel place
But it's only a cycle made up many smaller cycles
Therefore we are just pawns in something bigger than us
Something that we just can't comprehend quite yet
The only thing we can do right now is play our role
As we continue to hope to change the world

Close your eyes and listen freely
Smell the sweet aroma of the outdoor air
Just close your eyes and hear nature sing
Listen carefully for its true beauty
Do you hear the squirrels rustling in the trees
Birds singing their lovely melodies
Flowers blooming in the open fields
Earth dancing to the sun's tones
Pebbles dropping to meet the ground
Rivers strolling because their free
Trees tap dancing in the wind
Bees buzzing as happy as can be
Open your eyes and look where you are
This is nature and so much more
This is what we call the great outdoors

Fly little birdy fly
Soar high
Look cool in the sky
Fly little birdy fly

Fly little birdy fly
Don't die
Live free for you and I
Fly little birdy fly

Sing little birdy sing
Don't stop
Fulfill your dream
Sing little birdy sing

Sing little birdy sing
Sing because you're free
And because you can
Sing little birdy sing

Smile little birdy smile
For it's gonna be okay
You'll change the world one of these days
Smile little birdy smile

Fly little birdy fly
Fly as you sing
Fly as you smile
Fly little birdy fly

Will the fighting ever stop
I understand that humanity thrives off the violence
But this...this is just ridicules
I feel like a frightened little school boy
Screamed for my mommy and everything
Why must the explosions be so loud
They are really scary
I run with head facing the ground
As my crimson tears fly off my face
Screaming for my life as everything behind me blows to bits
My mommy dead
My daddy dead
My brothers dead
My sisters dead
I'm all alone now
The only one not dead
Finally I wiped the blood from eyes
But I was no longer afraid
Even though it appeared I had walked through the gates of hell
My mind seemed to have snapped
I had became a rose born from hell's fire
Whose only destiny was to burn as desired

There are a trillion stars in the midnight skies
Each one that much more beautiful than the last
Which forced me into this great dilemma you see
As I attempted to find the one that best resembled you  
Night after night I would exam the majestic stars
Only to fail time after time again
Not a single one of these stars came close to your angel-like beauty
Not a single star indeed
For you see there is no star that can shine as bright as you
Then I began to think about how fascinating it was to live in galaxy full a trillion stars
Which made me think of you
You're so beautiful you remind me of our galaxy the Milkey Way
That's right there is no SINGLE star that is close to you
But there is a trillion who comes close

Aye girl,
I don't mean to come at you the wrong way
But I can't help but to notice that you're alone
That your hands are absent of a certain item
You see there I was mining my own business
Ya know, doing my own little thing
When suddenly I saw you walk around that oh so beautiful corner
I instantly noticed the trail of roses that blossomed with every step you took
The birds began to sing this unfamiliar yet sweet song
The bees were buzzing raining down the smell of sweet honey from the heavens
Then the wind began to push me your way
Nature was just acting so bazaar
Like it was trying to tell me to talk to you
So here I am talking to you and maybe wondering
Well kind of hoping you'd like to go on a date with me

I can't help but to wonder if this is all a dream
If this life I'm so obsessed my true reality
Or is it some concoction I dreamt up to make the perfect fantasy
What if my reality was actually my dreams
And my dreams my reality
Are the people I have come to love even real
Is this pain I have felt for a thousand years the real deal
Are these words even those of my own
Or am I being fed these lines from some alternate universe
What if the mirror was actually portal
And the image I'm seeing is actually me from other world
What if I'm actually paralysed from the waist down
And this desire I have to run is just me fulfilling my goals in my dreams
What if all of this was just a lie but we believed it as truth
Tell me you have never wondered this to be true
Wondered if we are actually dreams of another
And what if we are...
Then what would you do
Cause me personally don't have a clue

No music...
This poem has no bars
It doesn't even rhyme
It doesn't have any epic metaphorical lines
It doesn't have over exaggerated truths
It just states the truth
The real truth
Nothing more, nothing less
Whether you believe me or not that is up to you
But I just ask that you listen to me just this once
Cause you see my truth is...
You're beautiful and I love you with every breath I breathe

I wrote this for you

I'd be lying if I said you're most beautiful I've ever seen
I'd be lying if I told said you're the smartest girl I know
I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any other choice but you
But you see the way love is set up...

It was something about the way you talked
The way you walked
The way you thank
The way you believed
How you were so optimistic about every little thing

It was your smile that sparked this raging fire that burns in my soul
Your eyes that nurtured the flame that could of easily went out of control
Your personality that kept dragging me back to beg for more
It was just you, something I could bare forevermore

I have watched from the moon scanning the earth a thousand times
Attempting to find the perfect girl to call my own
But every girl I thought to be the one just stomped on me
As if I was nothing more than duck tape to cover their wounds

But not you...
You made me realize a new truth
Uncovered a hidden path that was right in front of me
Made me believe that I actually had a future

When with you it felt as if my eyes were open for the first time
As if I were flying in the wind with snow white wings
I actually felt free from the chains society placed upon me
No cage could ever hold me again

So I ask now with great pride and dignity
Would you spend the rest of your life with me
As husband and wife
As one being

For sixteen years I wondered what it was like to have a father
For sixteen years I would stare at the stars wondering if one was even assigned me
For sixteen years I walked through the park only to see children laugh and play with their parents
For sixteen years...
I felt alone and confused
As I attempted to understand what it meant to be a man
I had no one to to call father and no one to look up to
While it seemed the rest of the world had everything I ever asked for
I would end up asking myself why did my father abandoned me
Why was he so enraged by my very existence he never showed his face to me
Why didn't he love me
Why...
I remember the day he walked through the front door
Full of so much joy I was, but angry
I took a quick glance at him wondering where had he been all this time
Why now did he decide to show himself
But still a part of me did not care
All that matter to me is that finally did
My head filled itself with so many questions of what it meant to be a man
But I was too afraid to ask them
Now I look back and think how naive I was
I was blinded from the truth by pure excitement
I mean I finally wasn't alone
But now I'm just angry by him existing
All he does is lie, cheat, and steal
Silly me for thinking he could save me
Now I just want him gone and for things to go back to the way they use to be
The way it was for sixteen years
Sixteen years of hell for me
But I still smiled because I had a mother who loved me
For sixteen years I lived without him and now...
Well now I can live without him for all eternity

You tell me not be afraid
But for what reason do I have not to be
The world is in gulped in flames
The sun has been blocked out by its midnight counterpart
Why shouldn't I be afraid
It's the apocalypse can't you tell
We're all gonna die a painful death
I don't wanna die
I'm not ready to face what's after this world
The stars shine purple, as the darkness corrupt their minds
The trees are crying shaking in terror
And yet you just smile,
Holding me telling me everything is going to be okay
Your warmth calms me
I don't know what it is cause I can feel your heart
It's beating so fast,so I know you're scared  
Yet you smile telling me everything is going to be okay
Is this really the power a mother holds
I now know what must be done
No longer can I be afraid
I must protect you  
Just like you protected me all these years
I love you mom,
And no matter what emotion I may ever feel...
That is one thing that won't ever change

I'm a nice guy
A jolly one in fact
But it seems only my emotions of hatred make it to the outside world
Caging my smile in a dark barrier of misconception
Giving off this false impression that I am a demoned eyed beast
But I am here, somewhere beneath this hollowed mask
I am here laughing,singing,playing, waiting for the day I shall be released from this barless cage
But until that day I am just here
And believe me the day is rapidly approaching
I can feel it coursing through my veins
The pure joy pumping in my skin
Freedom is nearly here
After all these years
But my tactics will not change
I shall sit here silently looking into the outside world,
Awaiting my turn to bath in its glorious rays

Every time I close and open my eyes
I want to believe that this entire situation I'm in is just bad dream
But no matter how many times I repeat this little ritual of mine
Each time seems more realistic then the last
But still I just cannot believe
I never thought she'd actually leave me
Considering how long we have been friends
Possibly more than we even believed
Then this man who is no one wants to step in and force us to say our goodbyes
Saying he doesn't like it when we talk
And by that he means how I make her laugh and forget what it means to be sad
He views me as a threat
Keep in mind I'm only 17 and he is 23
How is that I'm a threat to a man who is 23 to get girl who is 19
The dots just don't seem connect
I would just say goodbye to just get him off my nuts
But...
But I just can't
I just can't say goodbye to her of all people
I never really thought I stood a chance to get the girl
But considering how this man willing to stoop down so low to get me out the picture
Maybe just  maybe I do
I never really said it to her face...
I never actually thought I'd fall in love with her
But judging by emotions I feel when threatened with the possibility of losing her...
I think I actually love her

When nothing else make sense
And I just want to go home
Ya know just to forget about everything
All of life's struggles
Forget about all pains that come my way
I just go to happy place
That place where I feel safe and free of all judgment
The place where I can run around happily in an open field
Watch the sunset as I wait to see the stars in the midnight skies
It's my break from society
From all the heartaches that love to be part of my life
All the stupidity that burns my sanity away  
The place where I can just relax and enjoy nature
Listen to the birds sing in the trees
Oceans crashing against the rocky shores
Feel the winds blowing against my cheeks
The place that only exist in my dreams
So if you need me you know where to find me
But I'd prefer if you'd just allowed me to be

Why can't "1" be an alphabet
I mean it looks just like the letter "L"
And so does "I" but no one ever goes there
All "3" is a backwards "E"
"7" looks like "Z" missing it's tail
But "1" still can't be an alphabet
That's kinda messed up don't you think
Why can't the order be "A" "B" "C" "1" "D"
That sounds pretty catchy to me
It can be changed
And if you dare say it can't think about poor little pluto
All my life they were telling pluto was planet
Then one day out of the blue they want to say it's not
That pluto dwarf planet
What a downgrade
Bet pluto back there crying his small tears away
But still "1" can't be an alphabet
That's hysterical if you ask me
So let it be
let "1" come after "C"
And wave your hands if you with me

I been meaning to ask you a question
But ever time we come face to face I become afraid
I begin to shake as if I'm freezing cold
My words become so scattered I just stare and give you this awkward smile
Then I would just run away soaking myself in my own tears
Thinking about pathetic I truly am
So this is me turning to my last resort
The only way I can truly communicate this with you
Okay here I go

The stars are beautiful wouldn't you say
The full moon as well
It reminds me of what it is like to be whole again
You know having both halves of a heart that was broken long ago
It really is my favorite past time
Well before I met you anyways
Recently the stars and the moon have been giving me the cold shoulder
After saying how much of an idiot I am
Telling me that I shouldn't be here

I would ask where should I be and they would just stare at me
Afterwards saying that I really am stupid
I remember thinking well that's not very nice, not realizing that it's true
I would then return to my room wondering what did they mean
Which caused me to think of you
Well I was always thinking of you
Then I realized I think in love with you
You see for some time I have been feeling this way
But I never knew how comprehend this sweet sensation

It would explain so much
How I became so nervous when with you alone
Always making these stupid excuses on why I had to go, I really do feel something for you don't I
But it just seems like every move I make I am just pushing you way
Like I really don't want to be near you
When the truth is it's the other way around
I never want to be away from you
I mean I love you
And I can't help to think that you feel the same way

You have such a beautiful smile ya know
To me that was your best physical feature
I purposely try my best to make you laugh
Making these corny jokes just to see you smile
I'm surprised you never caught on to that considering how smart you are
Because you really are smart
Sometimes you make me feel dumb
But I love that about you
I love everything about you

But anyways my question
ummm you see I was wondering
This...this is just a suggestion
But I was wondering if you would like to go on a date
Anywhere would be fine just as long as I'm with you
Well that pretty much sums it up
You know why I have been so distant and all
That's all I really I had to say
And I hope you just say yes

Sincerely,

Adam

They tell me not to dwindle in the past
But that just causes me to laugh
Sometimes it is better to live in the past
Because the present is straight ***

It's all because I have these beliefs they view me as ******* rebel
I'm dangerous they say
A corruption to society
When the truth is they just want to exile me

The world just isn't ready for change
It wants to cling onto the past as if the past is its very life force
How hypocritical
Funny if you ask me

So I'll just watch from the moon as the earth spins "uncontrollably"
Laughing away as the stars shine in the distant space
Just awaiting my day
The day I will make my return to the hypocrites of society

I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to walk out that night
I never meant to make you cry
I never meant to assassinate a part of you

I never meant to die that night
I never meant to run away
I never meant to
Please believe I never meant to

You see, I was always afraid
You were touching a part of me that I never thought anyone could
It felt so strange but it felt so right
And I hope you understand that it was too much for me at time

So I simply took a break
Running as fast as I could to the other side of the world
But when I finally arrived I realized I had made a great mistake
But I convinced myself that it was already too late

I never muscled up the courage to return home to you
I thought maybe you'd be upset with me
That you would never forgive me
Just causing me to really die inside

But I started to think that maybe I deserve to
Just thinking about how I must've made you feel
I began to cry every night starring at an old picture of you
Then I made up my mind that I was coming back home to you

But when I finally arrived I realized I had made another mistake
Because all I saw was you smiling away
I don't know what I really expected
I mean you were always too beautiful to be single forever

I see you got the two kids you always wanted
A boy and a girl named them Linus and Aries
I'm so happy for you
You fulfilled your dream

Then to make it even better you forgave me
I should be so elated, jumping in so much joy
But for the life of me I can't even put on a fake smile
So I walked away again

This time I went to the lake by the old house we bought together
Then I pulled out the gun you brought me for my birthday
Finally I closed my eyes and began to pray
Next thing I know I was dead

I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to walk out that night
I never meant to make you cry
I never meant to assassinate a part of you

I never meant to die that night
I never meant to run away
I never meant to
Please believe I never meant to

What is wrong with me
My mind thinks one thing and my body does another
I feel so broken and confuse
Why won't nothing ever go the way I want it to
I have so many great ideas for the future
I wanted to bring to the light parts of the sea that no other human has ever seen
But now as I look at myself in the mirror I second guess everything I do
Am I destined failure?
I know that I'm smart but for the life I can't show the rest of the world
I feel trapped and claustrophobic in my own mind
Bringing my worst nightmares to reality
I failed my own mother!
All I ever wanted to do was make her proud of me
And I promised I would as we faced all life's struggles together
But...
I can't but to think I can't do it
That my true future is life on the street begging for loose change
What if that really is my future
What if I really am a destined failure
I'm sorry...mother

I believe I can fly
I got shot by the FBI
All I wanted was some chicken wings
And maybe collard greens

I believe I can sore
I got robbed by the F-ing *****
She took everything I ever had
After making me beg for more

I believe I can crawl
Because I can't walk anymore
The pain was too much to bear
Too much for my little self

I believe I can die
Lay six feet underground
Just rotting away
Waiting for the day

I believe in my future
The future that won't change
I believe I can fly
Then I believe I'll crash

Fear...
Does is it make us weak because we fear
Fear of failing
Fear of dying
Fear of fear
When afraid we become morons in a way
Doing stupid things that we would have not done on our own
Ruining relationships,
Friends or significant others
Causing chaos where none should exist
But does that really make us weak
No, it makes us human
It only makes us weak when don't face our fears
Constantly running away like a coward
Becoming schizophrenic as we attempt to rescue ourselves
Adding on another type of fear
Fear of forgetting who we are
Forcing us in this endless loop
Eventually we'd  end up alone in a dark place
Not even attempting to escape because we feel as if we belong here
Where ever "here" may ever be
All because we were too afriad to face a simple fear
Allowing ourselves to just shrink until there is nothing left but the dust of own remains
So don't be weak and overwhelmed by fear
Be strong and overcome the overwhelming

Poem to no one

I remember
I remember when I saw her for the very first time
The way she walked was so exquisite
Her lips were so plump and juicy
She was just a fine specimen
I remember wanting to run after her so bad
But in my mind I thought she was just too good for me
I mean look at me
I'm just a mere mortal born in the wrong place at the wrong time
While she, she was clearly an angel that fell from heaven
Everything about her was just perfect
Her eyes were like precious jewels that shimmered under any and every light
Her voice was so sweet yet had a certain essence of power behind it that could not be described
I remember my heart racing at the speed of light
Pounding so hard that I began to think that it would fall out
My eyes were beginning to dry because I couldn't find the strength to close them as she walked by
My speech became jumbled as if I was never taught how to speak in the first place
I'd curse myself because I feared that if I didn't say something soon another man would swoop her away
I mean she was just that beautiful
Too beautiful for me to muscle of the strength I clearly did not have
So I just wrote this poem titling it to "no one"
Because to her the girl I let get away I am no one

What determines a man's strength
Is it his mental or physical endurance
Maybe it's the size of his muscle that counts
Or maybe it's all about the size of his little man down below
Is it determined by how fast he can run
How brave he fights
Determined by how quick he reacts to a particular situation
The real question is how do you judge a man
Is not every man different
So by logic must you know what real man looks like
But every being has their own taste
Their own opinion about what a real man is
So how do judge something that everyone views differently
The answer is you don't
Every man is equally as strong
It just depends on who he has by his side
Which is why I'm glad I have you
One who I cherish so
Who I so desperately strive to protect
Who gives me purpose in life
Who gives me the strength to continue forward
Instead of being paralysed unable to take another step
This is why I love you
You gave strength that I could not have imagine to obtain on my own
So I hope that you see that what I feel is true
That all I really want is to be with you

LET'S GET REAL

There are no more jokes to life.
WE are FALLING as a RACE and we should be ASHAMED in ourselves
Violence is erupting in our streets
Innocent people are dying
Yet instead of mourning over the lost we are being ignorant
The foolishness needs to stop!
All we are doing is PROVING THE WHITE MAN RIGHT
Proving that we cannot be civilized, that we belong in shackles being whooped in cotton fields
Our ancestors would not be proud if they saw what we are doing today
In fact they would turn their heads and bow them in disgust
Thinking to themselves all that hard work for nothing
Is that really  what we want...history to repeat itself all over again
For us the black race to be treated like animals
To be treated as if we are inferior to dirt the other races step on
If that is what you really seek then continue
But if not...
Stop the meaningless violence