I had a dream about you
last night.
you died.
in the dream,
I missed you.
I cried for you.
but I don't miss you
in my life.

I wonder
how you are.
but I don't wonder
what we might have been.

I am forgetting about you..
Your smile has gone away..
No longer written on your face for me to see everyday..
Its getting easier for me day to day..

I am forgetting about you..
Saved memories emerge from time to time..
They are full of colors of you and are easy to find..
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind..

I am forgetting about you..
No more haunting smiles in dreams..
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream..
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams..

I am forgetting about you..
That part of me is dying..
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying..
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining..

I wonder if I will forget about you..
I think that part of me will not die..
I think that part of me will stay alive..
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes..

i can still feel you

i'm in my bedroom, alone
no one is touching me
no one is hurting me

i can still feel you

you could be sleeping,
or a thousand miles away
or maybe you're dead

i can still feel you
and him and him and him

06.05.20