You are so confined
by what you want them to think of you
So caught
in the invisible web they've spun
That you don't realize you're hurting people
You're hurting  souls
Just to prove that they should accept you

You are so consumed
by your quest to be better than the rest
that you don't see it
You don't see that you're forcing a  wedge
in between yourself and the person that supported you

And that person is drowning
in thoughts
in words
in blood
but you don't even notice
You don't even blink an eye
as your daughter drowns
right in front of you

He touches
My hair
All the time,
Plays with the
Edges and
Fragments,
And sometimes reminds me that
"I can braid,
You know."
Sometimes he does.

Sometimes he mimics me
In History class
From across the room,
And he laughs at all my jokes,
Even when they aren't funny,
Just
Stupid.

And occasionally,
When I'm sitting in my little niche
Between his desk
And Ellie's,
Right on the cold tile,
He'll attach his forehead to mine
And just look at me.
Sometimes he'll whisper,
"Nose,"
And point to it,
And I just giggle
And break the stare.

I don't even think he feels it,
The wishing to always be near him,
To have his fingers in my hair
All the time,
And for his laugh to be
My soundtrack.

I don't think
That when he stares into my eyes
He wants to kiss me
As bad
As I want
To kiss
Him.

I hate that you're depressed
because
you are so
beautiful.

I do love you,
even if
we just met.

You are perfect.
Those scars on your
thighs
are
destroying
you.

I hate how it
Poisons your
Bloodstream,
Making you cut open
your skin
in ribbons.

Stop

Please stop.

And I
Was so stuck
On my own
Little
Problems
That I totally
Missed
That you were
Suicidal
Too.