I look up to rolling clouds so depressing and dark
I look out this window that sets us apart
Away from a world I wish to be in
Instead I'm trapped here with you again
I'm trapped in these walls of this house with you
I need to be outside so I can break through
Away from your disappointment anger and fear
So much negativity makes my vision unclear
Now I can't see my bright future, just your angry eyes
Nowhere to hide in this home that can't be mine
Caged in from the world under all this pressure and hurt
You should be the one to make it better not worse
Nothing I do will ever please you I see
So I must depart so that I can live for me

how great it is to realize
that without you now,
there is nothing keeping me here
here in this town,
in this state,
with these people

how great it is to realize
that now I am alone
and free
free to find love and myself and
love within myself
away from you

how awful it is to realize
that these things aren't great at all
standing here without you now,
I can't help but feel so small
the world is big and our love was great,
but it was great and that was all.

how great it is to realize
that I can stand without you now
and that I will not fall.

The first time I went to my therapy class
I despised everything
the thought of simply going made me feel crazy
It made me fear the truth about myself
and in that instant I hated my therapist
I though she didn't know much about my supposed illness
becasue in that moment I thought
you can never truly understand a mental illness until
or unless you've lived with one
It's not something you can read in a psychology textbook
and call yourself an expert

We are afraid of tying knots.
Now, my brothers weren't fond of Boy Scouts, but those aren't the kinds of knots I'm talking about.
Our parents got us velcro shoes growing up (something about not wanting us to be overwhelmed with tennis shoes)
And that, perhaps, was the moment that started everything.
We could no longer trip on loose laces as we ran our races,
Our parents couldn't see our disappointed faces as we fumbled getting ready for school.
It was the perfect contribution to the flawed illusion that the human institution should be prevented from failing.
Oh, yes.
In my lifetime, cordless telephones were placed in every house because we did not want to untangle our own messes anymore.
Failure doesn't hurt as much when it is invisible.
We wanted wireless, no-strings-attached luxuries with no side effects.
But there were effects that couldn't be seen
(how could they until we were older than teens)
Because the end effect was this:
a generation that shirks responsibility
we have anxiety
because our parents didn't let us face our fears when we were young
we are jobless, loveless, purposeless
because we still haven't realized that everything has its opposite
love - lust
success - failure
happiness - sadness
peace - anger and commotion
you see?
there are full-grown adults living in the basements of their parents
watching **** from an illuminated screen
a no-strings-attached commitment to a video that will never require a vow or a promise;
so many see the term "settling down" as "kicking up dust" of a dull life "confined to a four-inch screen."

we've seen our own parents cut the ties
now living separate lives
better that way, but millennials can't fight
for love or for kids or for dreams
because their caretakers' examples couldn't teach
the right way to do a marriage
the right way to commit
we are shirking responsibility--

because we don't want to fail.

still as afraid of tying knots
as we were in kindergarten.

RPW*

There are moments
in life when
unconsciousness
seems your truest friend.

And now
I lay me down
to sleep.

To what
unimagined world
will I awaken?

Unless, if I
should die
before....

  ~mce

The soul he needs,
It should be wise.
It should be sweet.
It should care.
Their feelings should be strong, but not too overwhelming.
It must like the closeness of his body.
The soul he needs,
Must be strong.
It must be tender.
The soul he needs,
Should be a soul like his.