I'm drowning
slowly
to the pit of burnout
and endless tasks

I'm floating
away
from what's really important
from the real world
because of my choices

I'm dying
but every time I lay myself to rest
my hidden dreams awake me
shouting and crying
reminding me that this is not yet the end
this is not the life I'm dreaming for

I just need to push myself more
until I reach the end
and finally fall

It's been years since the last time I felt loved by another person aside from my Family.
He is an attractive man... scratch that, he is gorgeous!
Way gorgeous than what I've been praying for.

His eyes, his nose, HIS LIPS!
Everything about him screams of Masculinity.
Though I only met him online, I've always dreamed to be with him since the day we start chatting.

One thing I've noticed is he knows how to flirt!
He makes sure that I'm taken care of through his endless reminders.
He sends random snaps of himself and motivation,
he also sends voice messages that made my heart swoon.

But Wednesday came and he stopped sending GIFs.
His usual sweet good mornings and messages came to cease as if my subscription has been cut off,
and I failed to guard my heart again from getting hurt.

But surprisingly I'm not mad at him.
I'm actually happy because if a stranger can make me feel emotions unbeknown to me,
what more will be the man who will pursue me?

For now, I will linger a little bit more on his messages.
I will keep on playing his songs until I finally get over him.
Maybe writing about him here is one way to lessen this intense feeling that had been put off.
But I'm happy that last week, I fell in love

you will never be forgotten.
ever.
your name twisted into metaphors and colors and distractions will forever
be painted across pages and pages of her favorite brand of notebook,
no matter how many she burns
there will always be one she forgot,
and she will only find it once she had almost forgotten you.
she will find the one Papyrus notebook
and all of your metaphors and colors and disractions will come flooding back,
just like how the ocean in your eyes
flooded her heart all those years ago.

When we're in the car
After we had an argument
And I know he's stressed
When he doesn't understand why our sister is on medication
Or why somedays I don't get out of bed
Or why we're back in court
Or why our parents are divorced
Or why my mother cries
Or why sometimes I have to parent him
Take care of him


Sometimes
On quiet nights
I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything
For anyone to tell me anything was okay
That I wasn't going crazy
That sometimes people just hurt
Sometimes I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything

For someone to hold mine