scintillated leaves
a cold piano sits
separated lights glinting over black
organic liquid crystal
made of melted sleep
silk screen politics
upheaval and sink

there was a heron in the sky when i crossed the street this morning. ive never seen a heron so far from water, so far from home. i watched it gently, despite the people walking. i dont always break the unspoken in this manner, and although ive been more often lately, it still is not consistent, and so feels notable in this instance. of course there you were when you werent and lasting considerably though considering what is normal to me this was not notable.
but a heron was flying when i got off the bus today.

i felt as rested as ten with completed checks yet really i was running on a miracle three with more boxes than i could carry with my hurting wrist and hurting knees -

dear god,
will you hold me so softly with mercy in your palms,
will you tell me so delicately what you mean when you speak,
will you set me so lovingly to the floor when you must let me down,
for there will come the time for me to die.

at six fifty pm they turn off all the lights. and down the block sitting at the stop, at last a moment to catch up, and that is when i saw the second one that day.

dear heron,
will you fly again so starkly with your ever fervent beauty,
will you seek me out so blatantly though subtle as you have been guided,
will you return so frequently further, but not so much you disappear,
for i would love a heron to fly when my time has come to pass.

holding you feels like an inevitable. intangible yet legible. i dont check the clock when im waiting for the bus. it will arrive when it does and when it does i will get on it.

i saw two herons on tower street today.

black blanketed empty ice
i didnt want to bring it
i didnt feel the pull the push the desire the bone-burning fire
i think i might be losing what it meant what i felt what i dreamt
grieving on pine needle floors
"TO DECIDE"
is it even up to me anymore
"everything that i want
i now have to give up
because it seems appropriate"
(appropriating portions that you punctuate)
if abdication is required well then so be it
or at least that is the manner that i will depict
as i realize the extent to which i fluctuate

spotted in tears parallel to peers
for the impact is unimaginable
intangible ungrounded unfounded unmanageable

i stand in the back row, watching the casket sink lower
im never sure whos inside
whats divine when theres nothing alive
to what capacity will the constraining factor maintain
incapable, an electric field of rage, inescapable
a negatively charged invertebrate ablaze
as if i ever had a chance against the flames

yellow crosswalk indicators underneath my shoes
sillhouetted familiarity by the garden ledge
and instead, wiping away water, stopping for the view

six identical plates, twelve identical more
will i wont i, pushed aside
deciding that right now i will be fine
six identical breaks, twelve identical torn

this future does not carry over
perhaps it is that i will be declined denied reimagined revived
i will never be ready for anything old for anything new
not even clouds in windows in lines
i miss you i miss you i miss -
well
i miss what i used to think of you

but standing in that row
did you hear what i had whispered
a candle lit dinner in tandem to splinters
for some time
sitting alone at the table
inside of my mind
would i even if i was able
did you notice
did you falter
are you stable
the stone had a name like mine

light meeting ink on a textured pin board
with unexpected encounters beside white clouds
i feel that we have been here before

the latest prints in a row
wave to me hello
and standing there i smile
looking at the shapes and colors for awhile

two bottles of coke
a fresh tablet and an open notebook
left behind for class
a heart's a heavy burden
but the smiles of the crew really make it worth it
just being in that space is all it takes

printed waltzes over rendered clouds
we played the song again
a kiss a dance a hug, careful steps with love
and then
a spoonful of center cake
but not sweeter than the hearts
of the people i partake

borrowed pages on a gymnasium floor
crowd sourced poetry interlude ensues;
an encore -
oh how i would love to live
with just the three of you

there is such depth within his dark eyes
a depth so far when i reach out nothing touches
i will wait for the sound when i drop a rock
and i will sit there quietly for days
looking down his pupils
like sitting at a well without water without end
his image ripples at the edge and faintly i will notice
that it isnt him at all
that the rock will never land but always fall

an ear it aches of music tastes like splintered glass
running through an autoshop of metal broken last
on the couch the chair the ceiling flesh to reeling
the worm inside my head it writhes and twists
in pinkish pain it extorts contorts complains
wishes it were real insists the wrists were not
wrought untold to taint my mind it will own my
to the from with but then a next that we for pry
tears knitted back into the mouth of woeful lies
the entrance of a chasm barren grounds of feeding festered
nothing left completely ravished and the worm he is still famished

yes king slay best boy prince
baby belly love this simple verbal kiss
pat on the head cause you're doing so well
negativity expelled spills love as you tell
your love to him
your love to him he should value over all
sad smile thanks you but
it's not mutual
honey baby love just listen to me
I love him like I would if he were me
if I was him he'd love me back
but then again if he was me I wouldn't love like that
look
all you need to say is that you'll love me any day
cause darling baby boy it only works when it's both ways
if someone doesn't love us then that's okay
but we need to love each other if you'd let me just explain
the ultimate is happiness, on this we both agree
but means of obtaining, on level we don't see
really it just starts with reclaiming yourself, reign in yourself, and most of all remaining yourself
it all starts with you, baby boy, with me, and our joy
without disclaiming just be naming me as your love as your flame
and I'll be naming you I know as the one I'd like to stay
for if we have this fire light, we'll never be alone a day
seeing as we both
are one and the same

i only wish to tell you
the things i cannot say
its not that its a secret
its just that i am physically unable
and so i remain
forever aching to convey the unconveyable

captured pitch
constellations understand
fragments marked cliché

fluttered catch
imperfections overwhelm
passage traced away

wednesday stint
permanently connected
weightless neared today

complex brick
independence constructed
coughing thumped display

hearing thoughts alive of sky
summer hours running cry
a changing mark of ashes

I ignore poison poured filling actions forced
language aches of notes entire starting spinal coarse

honey painful self

desribe the concrete plain
washed suicide crash of brighter safety
set moth fades mouth maids
fruit and liquor
raging hazy dreams from couch and bed
lazy days another whiskey crazy

burnt crime cluster grime
customer chained dance
advanced beloved violent passion
stand your ground
keep your stance
a chance of no particular fashion

version purity
ride code sincere stormy appearance
bold
footprints set aside
soaking dearly nerve panic
vanished image seeks inside
victims veins rusty bills
knotted patches of poverty
knowledge latches on sovereignty
numbness calls the novelty
unheard of pleading thrills

tears are skin deep
in beauty moon wonder
takes my lonely youth away
they heal the bleeding peak
the boys smile numbly thunder
underneath holy force they lay

from heavens content petals prone
claim waiting names of ancient begged
those Saturday boys of wasted senses
desires swallow ghostly natural stone
perfection strung on madness famed
conversations threw perception wrenches

pharmacopoeia pseudo-heartbreak
boys of silk surrender's tone
numbers **** fixed clue compassion
they've knocked naive awkward sake
surrounded rot dwell spoken phones
talks grateful lake of mentioned passion

frozen mountains burned alive
familiar heads on security tapes
pleasure never measured in despair
upstairs dirt escapes
painless painted panel quaint
a king's bone split fate
constant midnight calls
hunger chasing useless cure
rings list cost installed
movie plans ocean braid
swayed stolen chains enthrall

bearing marks of monthly faces
safety races faster than time
careful crime bothered the speed
of greedy circles eyeing ashes
car crashes sliding into birthdays
plastic rays bridging stolen gaps
of payments lasting grinning pity
in mercy city on planet danger
steady stranger listing sideways
right they form faced bullets
and same full pit lifeless mouths
sorrows endowed continue to consider
within her catching snap a melancholy tone
exposed and prone a younger mile crooked
pockets took its twelve fingers sworn
adorned on necklace rests
eternally festers in a sense
except intense purity wept confessed
anticipation checked and kept
nails curled over wire breaths
another morsel crept

reality laughs at tomorrow as promises pull me back
grassy worries written under flowers return my nature fate
an answer for the shadow's teeth keeps moving, gently ready
walking smiles of golden places eat endless sand and hate
angels plan twisted poisons every evening wave
another painted innocent, left to make their grave
wearing fingertips as gloves his fading difference wanes
but my honey glory always keeps and washes daily shot from shirts
infinite yet burnt blankets offer strangers common prayer
a mere shout traced a rolling blade drives refusal under holes
again I'm claimed by explanation floating wishes torn and rare
scared below sacred thoughts of brushing matching hair

he felt sweet care from the lips of god
a cry for help as bright as reason itself
but a simple burn needed steps to learn
yet silent hours screamed him fogged

fresh colors completely distantly constant
brother poet possibly gripping patience
smooth for ever eventually taking existence

a swallowed rolling branch of trouble
the blade expressed by monster eighty
compliantly shady driving a cracked creating whisper
bubbled rubble of weighty concern
does this hurt forget her it's Christmas, web surfer
a bloom adorned in restless praise
for tongues and lathes trail storms ablaze
lingered is west current laid
an unexpected place, for change

chasing hills beyond the glimpse
the glass has spilled its sour frost
lyrics bled by writers' heads
speech screeched positive red
catching captured charms of frame
sober melted peaks
blurred forbidden tainted progress
thumbs massive flashes glee

focused demands different notions
evidence mourned separate passions
stretching drama to brittle fond
an image of fame ruins kicking gone

my eyes feel the day that I remember staring star
his scar spent talking playing starts
attention brought from book and brook and bought
calling for trapped forces of higher divorces wrought
and sought did I of reasonable talk
and with seasonable haunts did I stop
a planet costs him unseen causing
left the loft for softer crop, his beaten form did roam
some foam done gone for fun a song
the loamy earth he surely combed
for massive fixed evasive ticks that taught for thought
I wasted waited tasting fought
unraveled revealed rapacity forgot

find care felt apart
smart
starting young realize patience
cremation tastes this
****
dropped exploited shaken dark
explained in snark
carting baggage luggage part
a lot but late
leak steak lurking bait escaping shape
heart

love time heart life
shove rhyme smart right
tub dimes hard strife
some lime start smite

dead turn bed longer
fled learn read somber
head burn red stronger
said spurn dread ponder

room living darkness lies
grew dripping harness dies
through giving starkness tries
slough gripping tarnished minds

young eyes seeing crime lying thine creeping mine
rinds peeling feeling slime re a lizing healing shine
boy talk stalk walker struck sad bad potter dock

duck sought bought luck rock tongue tied from nights stuck
stuck in muck of crumpled ruckus truckers buck.

pink photographs sticky notes brac e let bar
shrink chronographs picky votes stake a guitar
link show no paths sickly motes tasting it jarred
brink
promo tracks stow though mats low foe packs so crow slaps
finicky face to picard

appointed anointed entitled insane
assaulted revolted compiled remains

jaunty raunchy defiled deranged
daunting exhausting exiled and caged

experiment serious fistful explain
mysterious furious pistol disdain

lodger copter laughter softer
walking wanting wading wearily watching
thumping trading
vapor water left unbothered
shot and pulled and dropped to fodder
pushing pouting prodding per i lously pinching poking
paper thought or kept to rot and sought to put the trough
but
type. speak. letters. words.
components honing rodents fuller shoulder bone boulder
broken beaten bottled breathing baker bleating basted by
faker fleeting fated fearing facing feeble fine
CHOKE
keeper of the cold and crafted cattle
come to coddle all the wretched blood
it would it was and has been done
the blooming of a bud

twenty three twenty three twenty three
sin the leaves spent the free when in tea
sent to seem bentley ream really keen
forty six forty six forty six
torture brick court see lick forced he rips
more the ships for lean mix bore me sticks

twenty and two twenty and six
forty and three, keep kept that this
poetry poetry poetry

☆
inventory slots pockets brought
water savory lot ticket caught
☆
lights bring colors bring joy bring finicky listening luster leaping in custard
☆
pen going dont stop
time ticking watch the clock
rhymes and rhythm for the rock
shop this walk it dont just lock it
stop
☆

put stat this what
bother upper it, huh?
battle wonder with but
mister think the
twisted figure shrink bud
from hit wink one
soccer stippled mink, yuh!

this but and youre
theirs not is nor
some yet whether for
also, however.
though under in ontop
through was will wrought
be were could a lot
the while sure ought
stop! perchance.
anyway. so of been all
because since therefore i'll
hers thus had was
very we'll would wall!
once maybe yes now
never by about down
minus till despite,
within without alike - hype!
said did done it
went him forthwith
prithee thine then as
either neither ***** yeah!

gymnasium
so amazium
blowin my cranium
my **** so hard like titanium
thats crazy insanium
like cadmium geraniums
caesium uranium
wild pounding atriums
emblazened with palladium

audacious suspicious
egregious and vicious
pervasive emissive
passive persistive
unarmed and ungallant
expectedly *******
unbounded unfounded
expoundingly grounded
tenacious abrasive
abruptly invasive
static in stasis
solitary basis erases tastes this wasting faces making listing blazes
hazing draped in places
losing races unabashadly
maximally tragically insanity and jaded

what's he saying
what's he saying
you don't get it do you
digging graves deeper
never six feet but thirteen now
costs of conversation ever steeper
how is it that every time you speak together
it becomes a shrieking endeavour
when will you stop
when will you stop
when did you stop
loving each other

what's she saying
what's she saying
why's she saying that to him
he tried to help
to please to pleasure
but nothing fits her standards
as she sits higher than her own slandered answers
she says she loves him

what's he saying
what's he saying
what he's saying
is he's done and through
with you
and your degrading ways
the price to pay for abusing stays
but he will not stay with it

he will stop the cinic
when the cinic will not stop herself
or stop listening at least
might miss the ring on his finger
but never in his ears
here's to bold-choiced new-life filled of tears
with years of shut in living
she said she loved him
but if she ever listened to what he was saying
she'd know how
what he's saying
is hopes for best
but goodbyes for now

red sun will i ever
will it will it forever
emblazoned within retinas
perpetually imprinted on every image seen
every breath taken
though not to be left forsaken
will it will it
inevitably loved in time unbounded
to drown in divinity expounded
something lasting profoundly undoubtedly will it will it
will it ever leave my mind

i love you
and you love him
i know you are scared
because i am too
but is this love
not enough
to answer
your fear

limbs held on by paperclips
your soul stapled to the heart
barely beating barely breathing
flickering footsteps waver
you were gone before the start

how many months how many years
will i have to live with such terrifying fear
or is that simply what comes with it
and would a plastic bottle **** it
but do i even want to know

uno día voy a morir, ¿y para qué?
para la gente, la tierra, el cielo, a ella
estrellas en su cabello
ella está tan lejos
y estoy aquí.
no allí no allá, no es para mí
comprendo y sé
pero no me gusta aunque
es cierto.
la puerta cerrada, abierta y cada
vez la paso en la casa en cada caso
ahora estoy ya muerto

youve never tasted cottage cheese
but would you try it with me
like the way ive never had carbonated blood
and would you spill it on my tongue
would you hold my face in your palms and drip into my eyes
would your tears reach my mouth
would you speak like they were mine

clouds fall and tumble into the sunset hues
they're flowers of the heavens picked by Sky just for Sun
and held by Mountains faded blue
strong with abstract limbs, in a fashion
I fix my posture and change position
to better burn my eyes with their passion