do take it personally
I hate your personality
I don't believe reality
I don't think that it's true
yeah
another lost in lurkin' really
once again dropped ascend
a second rendered helpless
steal me
I felt this
I see you felt it too through and through
high and low up you go sky high and to the moon
though I wish you'd stayed on Earth, mate
cause space'll change a man
and now you're one I hate
yeah
so when I say don't wanna hang
go ahead and be my guest and
do take it personally
I hate your personality
I don't reprieve lethality
you know I speak the truth
yeah

her name not on your tab
her texts you've left on read
her smiles you don't have
her presence you now dread

version purity
ride code sincere stormy appearance
bold
footprints set aside
soaking dearly nerve panic
vanished image seeks inside
victims veins rusty bills
knotted patches of poverty
knowledge latches on sovereignty
numbness calls the novelty
unheard of pleading thrills

wallets unfolded out of pockets over windows under doors
silky hands flashing plastic no dollar bill encores
stripper poles in limousines an unattended hell
officer asks license unaware of what's in store
it's just as well
wallets unfolded out of pockets over windows under doors

it's four in the morning
go back to bed
dreams soaring but
don't spend so much time inside your head
it's time for work instead
Easter Sunday

homework on the dining table
laptop and a pen
don't tell me I don't fit my label
wasn't kidding when I said
this is not pretend
Easter Sunday

six years without wheels can lead
to isolation caged frustration stuck inside a cell
inside the bottom of a well
understand me
I wish I had a bike
but really I just wanna love my family
wish that they were people that I liked
they love me and deserve it back
but I just can't requite like that
in tears upon linoleum
I'm loveless in the bathroom
Easter Sunday

sometimes
all that's
inside's
empty

sometimes I just get caught in the lines
in the rhymes in the rhythm
read aloud, "****, get 'em!"
impressed by my own self expressed
except when you really listen
when you really hear the words
they don't say much
but sound totally dope
like holy smokes man
your bars be smolderin
bold as sin, they better than
the weatherman
when all his lies begin

secretly I wish I could write better poetry
better raps tapped beat that catches perhaps
but here I am with random words you see
just tryna make a rhyme like
"insert generic line
that doesn't make sense
so vowel type connects"
like
throw away the meaning
the real reason for poetry being
and substitute jargon
bargain lines from the discount rack
filled with thrifted rhymes
again and again and again and again and again
and then
another written crime
cheaply bought counterfeit creativity
a dozen a dime
it's incoherent but it sure as hell rhymes
reused word count: two hundred sixty
recycled! green! clean! unoriginal poetry

sometimes I just get caught in the lines
in the rhymes in the rhythm
read aloud, "somethin' missin'"
called the content and significance
it's actually duplicitous
my poetry on feelings and existence
is really just equivalent
to keystrokes on a browser page
with no real value, no true substance
so never trust this
the words I spill upon this stage
coincidentally no coincidence
like this very post, for instance

sometimes I just get caught in the lines
in the rhymes in the rhythm
and forget the real mission
lose the real vision
composition
fake

limbs held on by paperclips
your soul stapled to the heart
barely beating barely breathing
flickering footsteps waver
you were gone before the start

hearing thoughts alive of sky
summer hours running cry
a changing mark of ashes

I ignore poison poured filling actions forced
language aches of notes entire starting spinal coarse

honey painful self

desribe the concrete plain
washed suicide crash of brighter safety
set moth fades mouth maids
fruit and liquor
raging hazy dreams from couch and bed
lazy days another whiskey crazy

burnt crime cluster grime
customer chained dance
advanced beloved violent passion
stand your ground
keep your stance
a chance of no particular fashion

corn flake dust
of feelings felt
daily broken trust
heart melt misfortune
the fires of sore sinned
lonely but options undesired
is it too much to ask
apparently

I'm tired

potted paints in tins
glass water bottled dipped with brush's tip
crouched at a baby table back hurting knees hurting hand hurting head hurting
this is art
watercolored spit is this enough for you
of course not

another cake but without cream
my tooth lethal leveled sweet
didn't even read
fine print in the footer
of birth certificate
"may contain mentally sick"
I'll die of too much sugar
if not first by bullet to the head or any particular sharp edge
this house takes anger and consumes it straight
presumes hate
don't touch me
I don't feel safe with my roommates

to the store in the wind under clouds over wheels times two
I liked her hair; it was like mine
but no, I hadn't seen a chocolate lab
whipping cream sixty percent done stirred in sugar needs more sugar
needs more sweet
vanilla extract
extract joy then with snapped yells coursing in the veins of home
home... not really, just some walls, my heart isn't here
black pearls on fingers and necks and minds and upon my life
VPN poetry under cold sheets on a twin mattress
prayer beads of black pearls on the shelf
if it didn't take two hands to type
those pearls would be somewhere else

stir fry rice in the black skillet pan
stove top breakfast but not enough time
blueberry coffee cake in room seventeen
outdoor windstorm inner demon fling
pride and accomplishment but sorrow as well
what if it's all down hill from now
best performance in practice compelled
what if that was the best I'll ever tell
what if the slam isn't great isn't perfect
wait

breathe
don't negatively dwell
feet wide, chest out, clenched fists, inner yell
power pose and your sound will grow
in this case
your sound of existence
may you ever be persistent
in working for your dreams

next on agenda, signature forgeries
for a cause of course no cons
light theft earlier today
held the door and stacked chairs
rules broken my way
skip to offer therapy, support, care
make you feel understood

I like to think that I'm chaotic good

captured pitch
constellations understand
fragments marked cliché

fluttered catch
imperfections overwhelm
passage traced away

wednesday stint
permanently connected
weightless neared today

complex brick
independence constructed
coughing thumped display

a new symphony
invited to a group
honored flattered
small dreams really
my short hair mistook
by thee an image shattered
sorry but new me
I think myself it suits
(so don't mind if I do)
not yet exact, sure
but we'll get there

stuck in the middle
where nothing is bad
but nothing is good
it's sad how drab it is
but at the same time
it's steady

reliable
consistent
in the worst ways possible
when you're in the middle you don't get any pity
lost in a city sea of other people
no one knows your name
and no one will care to learn it
every day the same
sometimes all that I want is to
burn it

there's an ocean of fire in my eyes
in my mind
another sky but hazy smoky
lazy low key
another day at home

another day of arguments
another day of tears
year after year of anger and hate
they say
it's hard for those whose parents split
but wouldn't I rather that than parents hit
though they only hit with words
arguably worse

since they have enough to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back
no social worker will ring the bell
since my bruises are not visual
invisible wounds are visceral
infliction controversial contradiction
extinction of hope

past tense, more than I
for tensely, I am current

take me by the hand, and hold me by the throat
whisper in my ear
"you know you want this"

wieghted veins pump heavy blood
because you speak the truth
don't slit my wrists, but slit my soul
with those wicked words of yours
those wicked words of my own
as I feed them to your mouth

I tell myself it's you
I tell myself there is a you
but in this room, there's only one
only one to blame
sadistic sadness contorts within
it's my own hand around my own neck
I tell myself I want this

and I believe it

Please/my/love, keep me awake
keep from hate
hate
hating myself for no one's sake but my own
but/yet, not even that
not for my sake
I can't even feel what it's like to be real
I don't even know where I'm going, please
please

please/my/love, take me to hell
before I take myself
make/me/see, it's not what I want
not what I want
not the place for me to be
before I take the one way trip
please/my/love, keep me afloat

coax/me, into your arms
into your life
tell/me, I will be alright
and by my side you'll fight
to find the light inside
because/my/love, you'll tell me that it's there
tell me that it's there
please
tell me it's there

people change their minds
nothing's unconditional
traditionally habitual of human animals
predictably they always change their minds

but not you, no
you're not typical
you're unequivocal
I know exactly what you think
you're never finicky
because you unconditionally
unaccept me
your consistency is appreciated
as indicated by tears that ensue
so thank you
I mean it, I really do

trademarked fingertips
your fingerprints
lips linger with lust luxurious
excruciating heat
of exfoliating sleep
peels layers of age and worry

slumber of silent lace
and your embrace
of slow paced laughter
is lime green rhymes
I wish of time
remember then that before the after
when there was happy
but ignored the matter
the sweats you let me borrow

tomorrow threatens better judgement
better such that bitter words stint
careful hurt get, if you don't feel it

there's no right answer to this