how can you enjoy if endings are all you think of?
i dont know,
i guess i never thought
of cherishing every moment
i never thought of having fun
maybe because
i want
hard
painful
destructive*
love

since you already reminded me,
i am going to love you
like i have never been broken

No one told me how much it could hurt. No one told me how I could so easily I could fall back down after picking myself up. No one told me that even though it's bad to keep everything inside you, it's even worse to tell it to someone who doesn't care. No one told me how hard it would be to find someone who does care. No one told me that you could get so sad that you could actually feel your heart breaking. No one told me how hard this could be.

I'm angry so I write
I'm sad so I write
I'm happy so I write
I'm scared so I write
I'm confused so I write
Although nobody knows how I feel
I've let it all go
Through my fingertips

I emptied my entire being into your soul
hoping to fill a part of you long left barren

I watered your mind with my tears
hoping to grow a garden

Yet when spring came along
and the flowers had bloomed
and your soul had blossomed

I was left
nothing more
than forgotten

No one tries to save the monster from themselves

I almost feel vulnerable around you
Your warm arms wrapped around me and your face snuggled in my neck
I feel your every breath, I feel your every heart beat
I hear the whispers you make when you dream
Ironically whenever you're asleep I have the courage to talk to you and when you're awake my words cower on my tongue
I don't want you to know
I don't want you to know the part of me that's hidden
I just want you to hold me, and make me feel vulnerable and loved forever