Imi soptesti vorbe dulci, in timp ce-ti ascuti spinii,
Ca prin vraja ma atragi printre portile gradinii.
Si se-nchid in urma mea cu un scartait incet,
Soarele dispare-n zare lasand cerul violet.

Eu te caut fermcat printre atat de multe flori
Ce ma incanta si m-atrag cu ale lor calde culori,
Frunzele fosnesc in juru-mi, in explozii de ecou
Tu incet prepari veninul in amurgul indigou.

Si pasesc increzator, nestiind ca o sa m-ataci
Fiindca asupra ta vegheaza o armata de copaci,
Si ma zgarie si-mi par un sinistru labirint
Luna imi ghideaza calea cu a ei raza de argint.

Stralucesti printre frunze atragandu-mi privirea,
Caci mirosul tau ma cheama si-mi ineaca gandirea,
Inima-mi tresare tare fiindca tu-mi promiti saruturi
Inauntru o simt *** bate simultan cu mii de fluturi.

Si imi canti incet un cantec intr-o liniste de gheata,
Insusi labirintul verde se trezeste usor la viata.
E o lume de poveste, totu-mi pare ca-i un vis
Tu sirena din adancuri, ma atragi inspre abis.

Simt liane *** se aproapie, si se incolacesc pe mine
Si ma trag tot mai aproape aducandu-ma la tine.
E de ajuns sa te privesc si raman pe loc lovit
Simt doar inima *** bate, caci in rest am amortit.

Nici medusa insa-si cu ai ei ochi patrunzatori
N-ar putea sa ma inghete si sa-mi dea asa fiori.
Cu niste lanturi cuprinzi intreaga mea fiinta
Impietrit si fascinat eu privesc cu neputinta.

Ghimpii-ncep sa ma intepe  si in carne isi fac loc
Simt veninul *** patrunde si *** sangele ia foc.
Caci cu cat m-apropii tot mai mult tu ma ranesti,
Si in crunta-mi suferinta tu continui sa zambesti.

Sfaramat in mii de cioburi, ma atarn de-un fir de ata
Doar prezenta ta himera ma mai tine acum in viata.
Insa tu dai drumu lantului, si ma zgarii violent,
Din atatea rani deschise veninul se scurge lent.

Naucit ca sunt iar liber, tremurand m-am ridicat
Chiar si ghimpii tai uscati, eu incet i-am scuturat.
Doar in inima au ramas, caci mi-e frica-n lipsa lor,
Viata incet mi se va scurge printe gauri s-am sa mor.

Simt un foc adanc in suflet care arde irizat
Si cu infinita lui ardoare, ma consuma infometat,
Caci te vad acum mai clar si incep sa realizez,
Ma ranesti doar stand acolo desi eu ma-ndepartez.

Nu sunt ghimpii ascutiti ce m-au stors usor de sange
Nici veninul tau fierbinte ce din vene mi se scurge
Nu-s nici vorbele otravite ce le spui tu cu blandete,
Caci desi nu vrei s-o faci, ma ranesti prin frumusete.

i know that there is no real way to tell, who you talk to, or what you say to them, and there is no real way to tell exactly how you feel about me, and there never will be.... im not sure how to feel right now, there is so much in my mind.... cramped up in the corner of my head, wanting to explode!
im lost and im misguided.. i feel unsafe and threatened.... and the only thing keeping me from getting lost in the dark abis of feelings, is you.

you are my rock, my mainstay, my everything. i know.... none of this will mean a thing when you move on from me, but i hope the least that will happen is you will always look back and say "she really did love me"
even better, i hope you never have to look back at what is written on the internet because that will always be the same, i hope that you will be able to look me in the eyes and say,
"i love you too."
i hope that one day when you miss me, you will be able to call me and tell me. better yet i hope that one day you will just be able to walk in the door and tell me crazy stories about how your day went. even if none of my dreams come true.... i hope that ill always have you <3

Learn to fly


i do not want to live this life hence
why i am sat here contemplating
this black handled knife i want to slit
my wrists and learn to fly sounds so great
but have you ever tried to take your life,
just to only to wake up later that night.
DSmith



Bold, Engulfed and left to feel the same

Deep,Vocal and pain
hopeless mind,hopeless pain
thoughts are controlling actions.
****** beds sheets and stained clothes
no food no help for me so it i beg god
hurries and shuts the coffin closed

DSmith


My one true love,proud from above

I am hiding behind enemy lines.
wasting money and of cause my life time
thoughts of you remind me that
you're mine. I am fine just sad from time to time
The one thing that helps me fight is the thoughts
that you are mine and one day we may reunite.



As you tug on each heart string


As you tug on my heart strings
ligature marks from blue ribbon string.
Why would i sing the lords praise,
I cry why would i sing that his name
was it all my fault i'm wondering,
Searching for the painless soul within

DSmith


So you are the people that rule the world


so you are the people who rule the world?
locking up young boys and girls....claiming,
that they are not well even though
they can see the real in the world
  there empty minds step on egg shells.
The evil in the world hides behind,
these boys and girls the ones who make
this world, S tay in the shadows or under shells
but no ones appealing to the self worth
and the ignorance just gets worse ..



DSmith



Scarecrow.

I have no body for me to show what i know,
i have had a few visitors but they come and go.
for what i am for i will never know
my hay is itchy my hat slanted
My arms are heavy there is a man on the path,
Maybe just maybe we could have a laugh...he's coming
I chant with glee he  would make a good friend for a girl or boy  
i can see something in his hand what can it be. We do not have any events planned oh no Oh NO CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! and the scarecrow drops.

DSmith

ANGEL FROM THE GROUND

I know from time to time you peer down
to watch me each day you become proud and think  wow look at him now
he's really getting on well no more drugs now making his daughters proud i sent a friend down to see you were okay and he said no angel can watch over other angels.


DSmith




So look at me now i look at my self proud i hold my cards close to my chest
but that's just me i always kept.
My feelings locked away some days i am sad, others i am glad i still remember you dad my daughters wont be ill make sure to tell what a great granddad they had.


DSmith



Mentally ill

so you want to know how the side effects make me feel.
I cant sit still, My eyes wonder
to one side so i am giving up
the will to fight.my muscle seize they turn to steal oh its nine o'clock time for medication. To lay these voices to rest get the pain of my chest lay back and let my mess take care of the rest


DSmith


Green green grass

They say the grass is greener on the other-side  i say it changes the demeanor
when two worlds collide.
the feeling of hope hides behind the prison, Of your mind to find out your the only one left behind

DSmith


Bullets

Bullets in the heart, razors slice the vein
is-it just me or is the world cruel.
were all the same passing buck and shifting blame...
A penny for your thoughts or a shot to the brain. Suffering, sufferings so they claim society is twisted. No respect ...its a shame... slit your wrist and soon you will see. You bleed red blood just like me.


DSmith

Pitter patter


Pain is not having a plan,
Pain is not having the man that brought you before this here land.
I could not see his plan now he's gone i've searched the sky, seas and sands.
Before i stand before you whether you like it or not the 16 th of may he decided it was time for me to be a man.
You could have told me i would have held your hand....
I have no choice,no voice and no sound of that man. Nor heart beat no pitter patter of his feet.
He left this life he thought it would be better but it all ended in defeat no more drunk days roaming the streets of more pitter patter from his and Ana's feet Night dad have a nice sleep.


DSmith




Sentenced to life in my head.


So what gives up the right
to say your health is alright but, your head is wrong...Alright how can you tell me you have lived my life.
Have you ever had the choice to carry on and fight or just sit there why tears flood your eyes. Have you ever cried your self to sleep because there no knifes, razors or pills to eat my sickness need more than prescription.. Try my shoes and how far can make cover over in a days mission are you sure let me help you down from your high horse what right do you have to judge me your the one with the devil on your back.


DSmith


Contemplating life


I do not want live this life
so i it and contemplate
this knife. To cut myself it would feel so right.
it feels so good like the holing of ice,
it just feels so right have you ever tried to take your life just to be on section the next night with these demons everyday i have to fight they tell me **** your self your not worth it i say i am not no where near perfect but i know my children are worth it  



DSmith



Ghost


Okay there was better ways to leave
I know but as I swing there,
pigments of ghost. I remain where I stay
till i heard from the ghost it whispers....
I loved you, the most. It was my time to go your time to shine please do not, Feel hate because I left you behind .

You was the best accomplishment in my
life as i lay here draining of life.. remember me for the things that went right.



DSmith



So here I am

So here i am once again,
Finding my self aimless
nothing else but shame,
I ask my self once, Twice
and over and over to stand here
rendered with heart ache, The same
heart ache that got me locked away in
in medium secure locked away safe and sound.. tap tap tap Daryll the devils calling.


DSmith


The howling past

The wind it echoes from cave to cave
gusting past like a hawk in prey.
The wind swoops to the lower level,with
each and every tattered feathers it flies by no matter the weather.

DSmith


domestic abuse


what would you class as abuse or the fact that the other half gave you the noose and tightened it so tight the no slipping loose the very way they make you feel good for a while, They put you down with cute insults.
Back to hate at the end of the day, The way they make you feel good to knock you down, they hit you and tell you its all your fault or they did it because they love you either way .....you know what i have to say... that's domestic abuse.

DSmith

flowers

This flower is me,
Freshly picked, Yesterday
vibrant and pink vibrant an
free, Alive and kicking but now is dead,
withered.......Dead petals, No leafs
gone into its self, just like me
i saw a lot of what the world was yesterday now i've given up,
the fight just a me!

written by


DSmith

I see you.

I can taste your blood.
I even smell it, I smell it in the air.
i even kept that snippet of your hair
i watch you as you sleep, I watch you as you eat.... i even like those socks that let your toes peak.
i can taste your blood I can smell it in the air.
First i'll remove your scalp, Even remove each hair, i'll slice my knife right through you leaving you for dead.
Cut you in to pieces and even freeze your head, I'll skin your legs and arms and even cut off your face  and then ill serve it to one of your mates i hear you begging, begging to be saved
I'll bury you in a field with unmarked graves...quick call the police before its all but to late.

DSmith

The Church


The church peaks over the trees the grass is long but a light  shade of green, The birds seek food then they fly away.
Looking out there's not one cloud in the sky. The moon can be seen ever so wide I look up for answers of what to do with my life.


DSmith


Freedom


I can hear the voices, To me they sing.
I can see the door I also feel the wind.
I look beyond the window ,from which were caged in.
I can feel the people in all there thoughts that spare
A hopeless Abis. I call but no one answers this.
I scream I shout but only because I'm scared.
I'm free I'm out I pray I never go back there.

DSmith

Stars


I look up to the stars wishing that i at least knew where to start. deep down in my heart i knew we were both doomed, Doomed from the start do not look within me nor check if i have a heart its cold out here in my world of hatred and dark.


DSmith


Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star

Twinkle Twinkle daddy's little star.
Sometimes i wonder where you are,
if you're sad or having a cry or having a laugh.
Other times i do not let you in because it becomes to hard.
Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star
I picture you dancing singing on my bed jumping up and down and then the pain again all starts.
Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star i miss you so much it feels wrong to laugh.

DSmith

Fate


There's no need to cut me down
I lay there in higher ground.
These beams of light **** in every
Bit of my life. I live In a dream of no God, nor light
No pain, no more voices for my pain to hide behind.
I hang here on the truth of mind. I hanging here
Just not caring what I left behind.



DSmith




Medium lock down and i'm loving it now



White jackets is the idea you get,
Needles in and restraints to forget,
i've been here a week now'
On a medium secure lock down ward shuffled walks everybody talks to voices that you  cant listen to talk,
Broken down minds obscure thoughts to be rebuilt, By medication and mind manipulation. Cheers to a life with no fair trail ..Were guilty without reason...

hey say their here to help
but stab you in the back
and twist it in, oh ever so kind
professional silver spooned
ignorant mind..
these people as we are..they are no longer of sound mind. Being held against
their will in a prison worse than hell.
in a places with no thoughts no control
but an over taken mind,
but this does not mean we are not worth your time.


DSmith


Dear mummy


Mummy why wont you hug me,
Mummy why cant i call you..
Mummy this is no longer funny,
Mummy what have I done?
Mummy why do  you not
love your son?...
Mummy why am i missing you?
mum this is your son please grow up
and be a mum.
Mum i guess don you not want to meet your son ....I HATE YOU MUM!!
MUM what are you doing here i wish it was you laying in my dads grave...
My sister calls ... mummy's dead..why is mummy dead...
Mummy why are you dead?
I wish i could take away every painful thing that i said.

Mummy i miss you I wish you were here.
the hopes of a reunion fade with each tear


DSmith


Its all but a dream


I wake up and see it was all but a dream,
But i have not got a clue,
why i have not shred one tear from my eyes.. I remember when you left when i was young. You said "look to the moon and blow a kiss and i will do the same my son" i look up to the sky i look for the moon and i feel to cry, but my tears run dry whats the point i feel better thinking you're not dead


DSmith




Silence was your plan


Some say suicide is selfish.
some say suicide makes you less of a man.deep own no one can see you pain,
I know you was not right so all I know is the pain you endured in your life was just to great...
you know it kind of feels nice knowing i was the relative in your eyes...
I have come to terms, That you have passed but that does, not mean i do not wish you were here  but i know you're watching now with pride and peace.    

DSmith




eyes that cry


Eyes that cried every night
see you thought you could hide
"but you cant hide" I knew you was not quite right.
I am a strong believer in life after death,
As well as the afterlife, when i go to your grave it just does not feel right.
i know you're still here peeking if only i could see what you are seeing.


DSmith




All chocked up

I am all chocked up ligature marks from this rope that hold my only hope, i am lost and broken the devil in side of me is awoken


DSmith


suicidal mind


Let me let you in on one of my thoughts,
Left out here alone, I am empty and lonely. only to be shed no empathy here i am still remaining empty. no shredding tears as m weakness is my only enemy...
I would get out of bed but the voices wont leave my head... they leave me with no energy, I wake up just to feel dead when i sleep i just sleep to hear you speak,
I remain in a dream, alone,empty and low self esteem...
why do i wake up praying it was all a dream just to look out side and be slapped with reality


DSmith



suicide suicide

Suicide is when two worlds collide
crying eyes,bottled up on the inside
locked in a prison locked inside your mind.



DSmith



Tears from each eye.


late at night i sit there and cry,
Questioning life who, What, Where and why must i carry on.
When i cannot scream nor shout,
Why must i fight, Why cant i leave with out thinking what i would leave behind
it was your time to shine that's why i cry most nights i would rather die than have to live this life, This lie.
My world could have meaning but no my earth dies screaming that why my life is here for me to die.


DSmith


I am trying i really am


I am moving on "well i am trying"
I am moving on only gods know why i have not started grieving or crying.
"whats the point"
"I guess it don't hurt enough"
"why oh why"
it still hurts just not enough.
"yes oh yes i am crying"
"but no more am i trying"
there is no point in telling
my self to start crying
"whats the point "
"i guess it would be lying"


DSmith


  Embrace the bliss


As i hang from these beams,
Falling in to the deepest dreams'
the sun is shining i can see the beams.
Its more beautiful than it could ever seem.
as the air leaves my tar filled lungs
I think of you when you were young,
My heart speeds and then slows.
my fingers tingle then go numb,
NO more struggling no more pain.

Daryll its not your fault let your self grow old and your hair go grey and you self get wiser as you get older.

you will always be my toy soldier,
keep on marching till your children are older there love for you will only grow bolder.

DO NOT LET IFE REMOVE YOU FROM ITS FOLDER.
Picture this, no more pain my life s over remember this just sit back and embrace the bliss.

  DSmith  


unspoken words

Silence many unspoken words,
but not a sound can be heard.
Greed another word for gain
fame another word for vain
deathly walks, A life from stalks
why should we have not a choice
to abort.


DSmith



The real world.

nothing as it seems, Were all asleep
life's but a dream, blues of red and reds of green.
life's but a dream what if i told you the sea was grey the trees not green...
Would you say i am crazy or living a dream, the world is full of love and happiness ..now whose crazy and living in a dream as i say victims cry and sufferers scream is this a nightmare or a repetitive dream.


DSmith



only time will tell

Only time will tell, what if I get ill,
and spend the rest of my life un-well
as I climb i've already fell, I faded away i wake up to cry just to go to sleep to die


DSmith


another suicide scare


Endless suffocation lost in the mix up of a
broken generation, See I claim I am a different kind of patient, i am sat here face full of fake emotion my life goes round in a upside down kind of motion i try to hang my self but the rope turned out to be gods token to hand me a life line I look back I thank god for the real man he has awoken.

DSmith



flower draped



Each day I am dying,
Each day I am crying,
The devil sees me an
mocks my crying,
I try to take my life he
whispers to me,
Why are you trying?
take that knife and start
slicing stick in and twist it
i have your soul i hope you miss
it is this hell or heaven do you
really want to risk it i have but two word your dead i think could this be worse
next time you see me ill be in a flower draped hurst.


DSmith



  As i take these pills

So as i drop this pill i realise i am ill,
I cant sleep does this mean i am ill?
calm -down, chill, but these nightmares are ore than real  sleep deprivation is the very reason i am ill,
So i guess its time to drop another anti psychotic pill oh that my life i love being mentally ill.


DS

I fell into a deep abis,
But today, no one noticed.
I laughed at myself until the tears rolled down my cheeks,
But today, no one noticed.
I allowed my thoughts to swallow my soul until I could longer feel,
But today, no one noticed.
Today, no words feel my lips and no thoughts were expressed but still, I was slowly dying and no one noticed.

The fog
Now sets
On
This world
Of ours
Making
Your love
Fade
Into abis...
I'm losing
Sight
I'm losing
You
I'm losing
The beauty
I feel
In love
With...
Darling
My love
My eyes
To the
World...
I'm going
Blind...
But your
Beauty
I will always...
See...

It starts with drifting.  Having no time for one another.  Then it's a fight about how they didn't call or decided to go to their friends house instead of being with you.  Words are spoken that have been bottled up for months, just building up; truths are revealed and tears are spilled.  You go into a blind rage.  Breaking everything that comes to your hand, ripping every picture up with him in it.  You scream out into the empty abis about how you hate him and he was the worst.  You no longer feel that empty hole that has been eating up at you for days, the feeling of him not loving you.  It is only filled with hatred and fury.  Then it hits you.  You find your favorite sweater of his that you slept in every night to feel like he was holding you, the smell of his cologne that would cloud your mind, or the first love letter you wrote for him, but never gave because you were afraid that he didn't feel the same.  Everything comes back in floods and flashes.  How his hand fits perfectly in yours,  his crocked smile, the way his eyes shined in the sunlight, how he wiped away the tears when your whole wold was falling apart.  Then in that moment, your eyes blood red, tears soaking your face, you realize no one in the world could love you more than he ever did.

Little broken girl jumped in too deep
didn't test the water with her toes now pain as she walks on her own feet     but it must be me      how can this be    look at you so broken you like this makes me weak
The hear you say you just want the pain to be over maybe evenly to end
I did this, not you?
We?
What's wrong!?
Drowning and drowning each day as everything persists.
Please I'll do anything to make this better just tell me what it is?
Maybe I'm crazy I hate my mind lemme leave you and this world behind
I'll cause no more pain or feel it in return don't keep me in a box nor a urn.
I wanna be in the stars *** these days they are the only thing that makes me forget
But these snow clouds snow so hard I only see a white abis
So take me away on the clouds..that abis that looks as if it's light.
Slam my head a little harder so I don't have to use the knife.

Learn to fly


i do not want to live this life hence
why i am sat here contemplating
this black handled knife i want to slit
my wrists and learn to fly sounds so great
but have you ever tried to take your life,
just to only to wake up later that night.
DSmith



Bold, Engulfed and left to feel the same

Deep,Vocal and pain
hopeless mind,hopeless pain
thoughts are controlling actions.
****** beds sheets and stained clothes
no food no help for me so it i beg god
hurries and shuts the coffin closed

DSmith


My one true love,proud from above

I am hiding behind enemy lines.
wasting money and of cause my life time
thoughts of you remind me that
you're mine. I am fine just sad from time to time
The one thing that helps me fight is the thoughts
that you are mine and one day we may reunite.



As you tug on each heart string


As you tug on my heart strings
ligature marks from blue ribbon string.
Why would i sing the lords praise,
I cry why would i sing that his name
was it all my fault i'm wondering,
Searching for the painless soul within

DSmith


So you are the people that rule the world


so you are the people who rule the world?
locking up young boys and girls....claiming,
that they are not well even though
they can see the real in the world
  there empty minds step on egg shells.
The evil in the world hides behind,
these boys and girls the ones who make
this world, S tay in the shadows or under shells
but no ones appealing to the self worth
and the ignorance just gets worse ..



DSmith



Scarecrow.

I have no body for me to show what i know,
i have had a few visitors but they come and go.
for what i am for i will never know
my hay is itchy my hat slanted
My arms are heavy there is a man on the path,
Maybe just maybe we could have a laugh...he's coming
I chant with glee he  would make a good friend for a girl or boy  
i can see something in his hand what can it be. We do not have any events planned oh no Oh NO CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! and the scarecrow drops.

DSmith

ANGEL FROM THE GROUND

I know from time to time you peer down
to watch me each day you become proud and think  wow look at him now
he's really getting on well no more drugs now making his daughters proud i sent a friend down to see you were okay and he said no angel can watch over other angels.


DSmith




So look at me now i look at my self proud i hold my cards close to my chest
but that's just me i always kept.
My feelings locked away some days i am sad, others i am glad i still remember you dad my daughters wont be ill make sure to tell what a great granddad they had.


DSmith



Mentally ill

so you want to know how the side effects make me feel.
I cant sit still, My eyes wonder
to one side so i am giving up
the will to fight.my muscle seize they turn to steal oh its nine o'clock time for medication. To lay these voices to rest get the pain of my chest lay back and let my mess take care of the rest


DSmith


Green green grass

They say the grass is greener on the other-side  i say it changes the demeanor
when two worlds collide.
the feeling of hope hides behind the prison, Of your mind to find out your the only one left behind

DSmith


Bullets

Bullets in the heart, razors slice the vein
is-it just me or is the world cruel.
were all the same passing buck and shifting blame...
A penny for your thoughts or a shot to the brain. Suffering, sufferings so they claim society is twisted. No respect ...its a shame... slit your wrist and soon you will see. You bleed red blood just like me.


DSmith

Pitter patter


Pain is not having a plan,
Pain is not having the man that brought you before this here land.
I could not see his plan now he's gone i've searched the sky, seas and sands.
Before i stand before you whether you like it or not the 16 th of may he decided it was time for me to be a man.
You could have told me i would have held your hand....
I have no choice,no voice and no sound of that man. Nor heart beat no pitter patter of his feet.
He left this life he thought it would be better but it all ended in defeat no more drunk days roaming the streets of more pitter patter from his and Ana's feet Night dad have a nice sleep.


DSmith




Sentenced to life in my head.


So what gives up the right
to say your health is alright but, your head is wrong...Alright how can you tell me you have lived my life.
Have you ever had the choice to carry on and fight or just sit there why tears flood your eyes. Have you ever cried your self to sleep because there no knifes, razors or pills to eat my sickness need more than prescription.. Try my shoes and how far can make cover over in a days mission are you sure let me help you down from your high horse what right do you have to judge me your the one with the devil on your back.


DSmith


Contemplating life


I do not want live this life
so i it and contemplate
this knife. To cut myself it would feel so right.
it feels so good like the holing of ice,
it just feels so right have you ever tried to take your life just to be on section the next night with these demons everyday i have to fight they tell me **** your self your not worth it i say i am not no where near perfect but i know my children are worth it  



DSmith



Ghost


Okay there was better ways to leave
I know but as I swing there,
pigments of ghost. I remain where I stay
till i heard from the ghost it whispers....
I loved you, the most. It was my time to go your time to shine please do not, Feel hate because I left you behind .

You was the best accomplishment in my
life as i lay here draining of life.. remember me for the things that went right.



DSmith



So here I am

So here i am once again,
Finding my self aimless
nothing else but shame,
I ask my self once, Twice
and over and over to stand here
rendered with heart ache, The same
heart ache that got me locked away in
in medium secure locked away safe and sound.. tap tap tap Daryll the devils calling.


DSmith


The howling past

The wind it echoes from cave to cave
gusting past like a hawk in prey.
The wind swoops to the lower level,with
each and every tattered feathers it flies by no matter the weather.

DSmith


domestic abuse


what would you class as abuse or the fact that the other half gave you the noose and tightened it so tight the no slipping loose the very way they make you feel good for a while, They put you down with cute insults.
Back to hate at the end of the day, The way they make you feel good to knock you down, they hit you and tell you its all your fault or they did it because they love you either way .....you know what i have to say... that's domestic abuse.

DSmith

flowers

This flower is me,
Freshly picked, Yesterday
vibrant and pink vibrant an
free, Alive and kicking but now is dead,
withered.......Dead petals, No leafs
gone into its self, just like me
i saw a lot of what the world was yesterday now i've given up,
the fight just a me!

written by


DSmith

I see you.

I can taste your blood.
I even smell it, I smell it in the air.
i even kept that snippet of your hair
i watch you as you sleep, I watch you as you eat.... i even like those socks that let your toes peak.
i can taste your blood I can smell it in the air.
First i'll remove your scalp, Even remove each hair, i'll slice my knife right through you leaving you for dead.
Cut you in to pieces and even freeze your head, I'll skin your legs and arms and even cut off your face  and then ill serve it to one of your mates i hear you begging, begging to be saved
I'll bury you in a field with unmarked graves...quick call the police before its all but to late.

DSmith

The Church


The church peaks over the trees the grass is long but a light  shade of green, The birds seek food then they fly away.
Looking out there's not one cloud in the sky. The moon can be seen ever so wide I look up for answers of what to do with my life.


DSmith


Freedom


I can hear the voices, To me they sing.
I can see the door I also feel the wind.
I look beyond the window ,from which were caged in.
I can feel the people in all there thoughts that spare
A hopeless Abis. I call but no one answers this.
I scream I shout but only because I'm scared.
I'm free I'm out I pray I never go back there.

DSmith

Stars


I look up to the stars wishing that i at least knew where to start. deep down in my heart i knew we were both doomed, Doomed from the start do not look within me nor check if i have a heart its cold out here in my world of hatred and dark.


DSmith


Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star

Twinkle Twinkle daddy's little star.
Sometimes i wonder where you are,
if you're sad or having a cry or having a laugh.
Other times i do not let you in because it becomes to hard.
Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star
I picture you dancing singing on my bed jumping up and down and then the pain again all starts.
Twinkle Twinkle daddy's star i miss you so much it feels wrong to laugh.

DSmith

Fate


There's no need to cut me down
I lay there in higher ground.
These beams of light **** in every
Bit of my life. I live In a dream of no God, nor light
No pain, no more voices for my pain to hide behind.
I hang here on the truth of mind. I hanging here
Just not caring what I left behind.



DSmith




Medium lock down and i'm loving it now



White jackets is the idea you get,
Needles in and restraints to forget,
i've been here a week now'
On a medium secure lock down ward shuffled walks everybody talks to voices that you  cant listen to talk,
Broken down minds obscure thoughts to be rebuilt, By medication and mind manipulation. Cheers to a life with no fair trail ..Were guilty without reason...

hey say their here to help
but stab you in the back
and twist it in, oh ever so kind
professional silver spooned
ignorant mind..
these people as we are..they are no longer of sound mind. Being held against
their will in a prison worse than hell.
in a places with no thoughts no control
but an over taken mind,
but this does not mean we are not worth your time.


DSmith


Dear mummy


Mummy why wont you hug me,
Mummy why cant i call you..
Mummy this is no longer funny,
Mummy what have I done?
Mummy why do  you not
love your son?...
Mummy why am i missing you?
mum this is your son please grow up
and be a mum.
Mum i guess don you not want to meet your son ....I HATE YOU MUM!!
MUM what are you doing here i wish it was you laying in my dads grave...
My sister calls ... mummy's dead..why is mummy dead...
Mummy why are you dead?
I wish i could take away every painful thing that i said.

Mummy i miss you I wish you were here.
the hopes of a reunion fade with each tear


DSmith


Its all but a dream


I wake up and see it was all but a dream,
But i have not got a clue,
why i have not shred one tear from my eyes.. I remember when you left when i was young. You said "look to the moon and blow a kiss and i will do the same my son" i look up to the sky i look for the moon and i feel to cry, but my tears run dry whats the point i feel better thinking you're not dead


DSmith




Silence was your plan


Some say suicide is selfish.
some say suicide makes you less of a man.deep own no one can see you pain,
I know you was not right so all I know is the pain you endured in your life was just to great...
you know it kind of feels nice knowing i was the relative in your eyes...
I have come to terms, That you have passed but that does, not mean i do not wish you were here  but i know you're watching now with pride and peace.    

DSmith




eyes that cry


Eyes that cried every night
see you thought you could hide
"but you cant hide" I knew you was not quite right.
I am a strong believer in life after death,
As well as the afterlife, when i go to your grave it just does not feel right.
i know you're still here peeking if only i could see what you are seeing.


DSmith




All chocked up

I am all chocked up ligature marks from this rope that hold my only hope, i am lost and broken the devil in side of me is awoken


DSmith


suicidal mind


Let me let you in on one of my thoughts,
Left out here alone, I am empty and lonely. only to be shed no empathy here i am still remaining empty. no shredding tears as m weakness is my only enemy...
I would get out of bed but the voices wont leave my head... they leave me with no energy, I wake up just to feel dead when i sleep i just sleep to hear you speak,
I remain in a dream, alone,empty and low self esteem...
why do i wake up praying it was all a dream just to look out side and be slapped with reality


DSmith



suicide suicide

Suicide is when two worlds collide
crying eyes,bottled up on the inside
locked in a prison locked inside your mind.



DSmith



Tears from each eye.


late at night i sit there and cry,
Questioning life who, What, Where and why must i carry on.
When i cannot scream nor shout,
Why must i fight, Why cant i leave with out thinking what i would leave behind
it was your time to shine that's why i cry most nights i would rather die than have to live this life, This lie.
My world could have meaning but no my earth dies screaming that why my life is here for me to die.


DSmith


I am trying i really am


I am moving on "well i am trying"
I am moving on only gods know why i have not started grieving or crying.
"whats the point"
"I guess it don't hurt enough"
"why oh why"
it still hurts just not enough.
"yes oh yes i am crying"
"but no more am i trying"
there is no point in telling
my self to start crying
"whats the point "
"i guess it would be lying"


DSmith


  Embrace the bliss


As i hang from these beams,
Falling in to the deepest dreams'
the sun is shining i can see the beams.
Its more beautiful than it could ever seem.
as the air leaves my tar filled lungs
I think of you when you were young,
My heart speeds and then slows.
my fingers tingle then go numb,
NO more struggling no more pain.

Daryll its not your fault let your self grow old and your hair go grey and you self get wiser as you get older.

you will always be my toy soldier,
keep on marching till your children are older there love for you will only grow bolder.

DO NOT LET IFE REMOVE YOU FROM ITS FOLDER.
Picture this, no more pain my life s over remember this just sit back and embrace the bliss.

  DSmith  


unspoken words

Silence many unspoken words,
but not a sound can be heard.
Greed another word for gain
fame another word for vain
deathly walks, A life from stalks
why should we have not a choice
to abort.


DSmith



The real world.

nothing as it seems, Were all asleep
life's but a dream, blues of red and reds of green.
life's but a dream what if i told you the sea was grey the trees not green...
Would you say i am crazy or living a dream, the world is full of love and happiness ..now whose crazy and living in a dream as i say victims cry and sufferers scream is this a nightmare or a repetitive dream.


DSmith



only time will tell

Only time will tell, what if I get ill,
and spend the rest of my life un-well
as I climb i've already fell, I faded away i wake up to cry just to go to sleep to die


DSmith


another suicide scare


Endless suffocation lost in the mix up of a
broken generation, See I claim I am a different kind of patient, i am sat here face full of fake emotion my life goes round in a upside down kind of motion i try to hang my self but the rope turned out to be gods token to hand me a life line I look back I thank god for the real man he has awoken.

DSmith



flower draped



Each day I am dying,
Each day I am crying,
The devil sees me an
mocks my crying,
I try to take my life he
whispers to me,
Why are you trying?
take that knife and start
slicing stick in and twist it
i have your soul i hope you miss
it is this hell or heaven do you
really want to risk it i have but two word your dead i think could this be worse
next time you see me ill be in a flower draped hurst.


DSmith



  As i take these pills

So as i drop this pill i realise i am ill,
I cant sleep does this mean i am ill?
calm -down, chill, but these nightmares are ore than real  sleep deprivation is the very reason i am ill,
So i guess its time to drop another anti psychotic pill oh that my life i love being mentally ill.


DS

Se pare ca știi totul
Și doar a predica
Nu văd ce rost are
Aici prezența mea
Când ce rezultă-n mine este numai sânge
Dat pe dinafară pentru a te unge
Pe răni tu, înțeleptule
Ai țipat destul să-mi tai urechile
Furia ți-a ajuns dincolo de cer
Și cântecul ți-e plin numai de "disper"
Si gol de "ajutor"

Însă nu e "gol"
De "spune-i tu pentru mine"
Ca și când ar fi ok să obții
Tot ceea ce vrei fără sa îți ții
Singur șaua vieții
Se simte incredibil și-mi pare impecabil
De bine plănuit, căci nu ești responsabil
Dacă nu merge bine, doar n-ai spus tu ceva
Erai prea ocupat cu a te alerga
Cu furia cu mânia și mândria ta

Toți sunteți furioși și intitulați
Să aveți dreptate, să nu vă schimbați
Toți sunteți titani și restul sunt cei proști
Se pare că sunteți destul de inimoși
Să vă iubiți pe voi suficient încât
Să vă protejați de orice v-ar provoca mai mult
Perspectiva asupra realității
Asupra iubirii sau a maternității

Iubirea mea nu pare
Să aibă loc aici
Și nu-s vreun salvator
Ca să vă scap de frici
Mai ales atunci când clar ca din topor
N-ați sugerat niciunul că vreți vreun ajutor

Suferiți că vă place și asta-i adevărul
Pe care-l văd eu, nu *** sa fiu eroul
Când refuzați puternic orice implicare
Care să vă fie puțin provocatoare.

Nu vă doriți salvare, ci numai validare.

Sclavi ai vieții voastre, ah cât e de trist
Dar păreți comfortabili în lacrimi și abis
Și când am încercat o mână sa vă-ntind
M-am topit și-am plâns, era mult prea acid

De libertatea-i munte, îmi sunteți plini de mare
Și-am să vă mulțumesc, căci nu e de mirare
Că busola mă îndrumă pe altă cărare
Și vântul dintre pânze îmi zice așa tare

"Ești doar eroul tău, și orice chemare
Ce vine dinspre ei, doar cere ca atare
O respingere simplă, fără vreo formă
De sentiment de ură sau țipete de normă "

Nu vreau sa vorbesc cu nimeni despre nimic
Și am s-o țin simplu, nu am s-o complic
Dacă îmi aduceți acest zgomot în casă
Sper să mâncați bine, dar nu la a mea masă,
Am sa vă anunț că nu e pentru mine,
Și am s-o zic repetat și dacă tot nu-i bine
Sau nu are valoare încă ce vă spun,
Sper să fiți iubiți, dar pe al meu drum
Nu vă mai *** permite vreun fel de access
În realitatea mea sau să îmi abuzez
Iubirea și răbdarea când văd așa de des
E loc doar de-un om, și drumu-i deja mers
De mine.

Așa că baftă voua,
Și cu bine mie.
Sau poate e pe dos,
Nu vreau sa stiu,
In fine.

_M.