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I am loud,
Demanding attention.
I know when I am being charming
Because I try.
I put on my impressing face
And do my impressing hair
And speak my impressing words.
I tell you my embarrassing drinking stories
And everything else about me
That you probably shouldn’t know.

I am not good at being quiet
Because that’s not who I am.
I am not the sweet girl
Who will leave you with a smile
And a touch
And a glance
Or a single word.
There is nothing of this fashion of romance
About me.

I am the girl who will point out your flaws,
And take you outside to see the stars,
And remind you how human you are,
And what a wonderful thing that is.

I am the girl who will talk about science,
And music and theology and history,
And point out constellations, laughing,
When you don’t know the big dipper’s name.

I am the girl who will make witty references,
To classic literature and science fiction,
And will tell you stories of how I once,
Made a gingerbread replica of a lighthouse.

I am the girl who will stand on a table,
And sing at the top of my lungs on the highway,
And act like a chicken or quail or velociraptor,
Or nuzzle your face like a lion to make a point.

I am the girl who takes too many shots
And then coaxes you to bed on a Russian liver,
And knows all the right places to bite, and tease,
And follows with exceptionally coherent pillow-talk.

I am not a thin silk scarf on the wind.
I am not a thing hard to capture.
You would not spend a perilous journey
Through a wild, perfumed jungle,
Searching for my slender garments
Hung beside a pool
As I wail to the breeze.

Rather, I am the bird who flies overhead
Making too much noise
Distracting from the trail ahead.
A bird whose plumage proves
What an interesting life it must be…
What a colorful life for me…
Perpetually strange
The lone comic relief.

I am many things.
But I am not quiet.
Of this I am sure.
09/07/12




A personal statement.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2020
the grovelling pig...
and the snivelling dog...

the snorkelig tabloid &
taboo of...
anything beside
the born blue: whale...

an arsenal of ****-joy words...
a much bigger
"assumption" of...
raj-stan spices...
to compete with
the 20th century arsenal
of the manhattan
project of h'america...

     and whatever the soviet
sly of empire-building
came to pass: and pass it did...

no one is celebrating...
how... pacified...
the disintegration of the soviet
"empire" took a postcard
turn in the events of history...

when the roman empire
disintegrated...
             no one is going
to go forward and bless:
how the russians played poker:
and... folded?

              to leverage in the oligarchs...
the... eternal flames of parody blues...
of avarice and that story of
yachts: tripping on...

greed is beside the l.c.d. "tripping"
chess pieces avarice...
the "insomnia" tactics of:
happy boys... shooting rich-boy
bullets at... all the more happy:
rich boy targets...

a french riviera target nuance: dulce...
deux...
       excesses of letters...
comes the grafitti with a tow
of toe-tied batman:
only val kilmer will do...

       yes... i grew up on "serious"
cinema... "serious":
i.e. "curious"... i.e. bored...
existential feats of bergman?
the magician?

    a film that would never allow
me a want to subscribe to...
reading into...
what's beside... pop culture propaganda...
not under the umbrella of the soviets...
or the historical nazis:
or...

          this time compass of:
a withstanding inconvenience of
hiatus... and hubris...
        scandinavian origins story...
                
      the red sq.... promenade... delight...
in... to fashion a hugo: who boss:
boss of who? via: hugo's who's hugo: who?
this advent of claiming...
riddles from the 20th century...
all clear: calibre...

   prior to 1945... exciting years...
and of that...
as if... waking up... from a family affair...
king edward VII:
       Bertie 12/20
                             give 'im a "sigh"
of relief... let's make that... a reasoned
fraction...
              mr. cig ar ah-rette'tsar...
                 herr 12/24...
                              herr halbzeit...
                world war I borrows...
19th century and... the insightful delight...
of the ruling elite and "******" affairs...
after 1945...

  so many years... of having to...
have... one's humor... dislodged from...
a coronation:
the republicans...
contra: the libertarians...
blah blah...

               because...
by no means... the russians were...
ploy:
Bertie the... and Tsar Nicholas...
didn't resemble clones...
               herr halbzeit... who the **** was he?
it's not so much a conspiracy theory...
it's... everyman's fiction...

  who's going to bother time well
spent: in the advent of requiring said
events to have happened...

             ****** was an ugly surname...
and how he... confiscated...
how he... rode to events like a Khan...
and usurped... nay!
hijacked! the aritocratic houses!
and they... fell... head: oh look!
no heels!
                   look!

   kopf-uber-ferse!

they're english! the fwench wish
they weren't cousins...
but the house of ßaß!
it was all a family affair!
                
                       the affair was so minded:
that poor h'america was involved...
and... how... the freed people from
the trigonometry of tyranny under
king george III... escaped...
then had to... choke cousins...
and fake cousins...
and bride themselves to...
the fire-bombing of Drezden...
etc.                         and more...              etc.

people with tattoos...
yes... those who don't mind history...
history and their amnesia project...
i have... skin clean from...
auschwitz imposed...
or that glorified ink-itch of modern times...
i have history:
my mind is tattooed...
loser loser: and a winner of what?
a tax on a car?
a road tax? a car i also own an
m.o.t.
                  i've learned to ride horses!
give me a horse!
**** your traffic car sterility:
i'm in love with the double-decker bus!
from london through to honk-*******-kong!

the 20th century can't just
become some... amnesia deposit...
history is a fake: i was supposedly...
only... "dreaming"...
          through to the Weimar Republic...
but i'm not invested in...
culminations...
in... old scores and schools of thinking:
taxing the dead... etc.

                i drink when i truly enjoy writing...
and... imagine... that i do:
imagine writing for a newspaper...
writing as a chore...
that has to be necessarily...
an artifact of sobriety and...
journalistic integrity... mmmpphhhghh...
sorry...
   journalistic integrity?
apart from a war or... ***** dealings
when all the culprits have had
their feet washed by a:
jesus christ look-alike...
    a... idi amin... retired in saudi arabia?

one could say... since i was born
at the end of "it": that i was... have been...
hijacked by the 20th century...
to write... a parody... epitaph...
someone has exacted me...
to write... an exit... wording...

perhaps because... there's still that
20th century immediacy...
all the other centuries... could...
not celebrate...
they could march on... into...
a dream-esque satirical state of progress...
perhaps they did dream...
while we're struck by the insomnia
invented by the 20th century...
well... the 19th...

when Prometheus...
            Frankenstein: fire! bad! ugh!
when Prometheus...
               when Promotheus...
St. Peter would love to entertain
the thriced acknowledged...
thus: no denial...
      Michael Faraday...
   or that lightbulb men-struosity...
     Edison...

   to clone a sheep...
        the perfected beijing-valkyrie
of the genetically perfect:
zero acne... blah blah...
               but a clone: clone?
   trouble that...
if not soul: then autonomy...
clone to pet?
ah... clone to pet... ah... ha ha! ah ha ha!
a clone to pet!
answers: the clone's self-determining
autonomy: alias: S.D.A.
        eh... it's missing a letter...
let's just keep it as "soul" for the minors...

ah ha ha: giggles oh my! the furore from
pandemonium!
the idea so lodged in the inferno...
the last time anyone heard just
laughter... was when...
****** was first... "investigated"...
in-ves-ti-ga-ted... gay-ted...
see: missing letters... somewhat...

and yes... there is... the closest approximate
of... flying lizards...
of... turtles out-living...
   beside what could be...
contrived... exoskeleton mush of muscles
and brains...
magpies...
of all the birds... magpies...
the closest akin... lizard folk...
to descend from "angels"...

   magpies are like... the cinema
depicted... velociraptors...
   magpies are the modern velociraptors...
the crows can croak their odin *******
off all they want...
the woodland pigeons do their...
whatever striptease echo coo... coo...

magpies... for me... magpies are...
the heirs of the velociraptor...
proof?! ah ha ha! proof?!
what proof is there that...
an asteroid... hit the earth...
and wiped out the dinosaurs?!
i haven't seen any "proof"...
  i've just heard... an undeniable fiction....
supported by science...
so here's mine!
the magpie descended from the velociraptor!
have you even... heard the magpie...
the variation of its communications
vocab?
it's prehistoric! compared to other birds!
even in the words of humans:
they are... conflated with:
gypsy-mythology:
that they... seek silver...
anything shiny...

           intelligence is a curse...
what proof is there that a meteor wiped
out the dinosaurs?!
what's history like in the hands
of man...
with active negation:
i.e. "the holocaust didn't happen"...
let's write our own:
play dough history...

the magpie is a direct descendent of
the velociraptor...
somehow the d.n.a. survived the meteor crash...
the turtle is still here...
the birds: still are...
the jelly-brain pickle of the great t-rex:
the serpent is still wriggling away...
but i ask: what proof:
what greast... undiscovered crater?!
the Mariana trench?
there's? big squid **** and all range
of car-boot sale *******?!
there?

                 a statue of shiva too:
snorkeling... to boot?!
    i've been alone and "lonely" enough...
of all the common birds...
the magpies... the magpies...
the "teutons" of the skies...
the velociraptors...
                  you've heard the seagulls...
you've heard the crows...
you've entertained the sparrows...
the woodland pigeons...
the robins remained mute...
the kestrels remained mute...
the magpies were the most vocal...
and when vocal... at most: in variation...

velociraptors...

yes... this is "history"... it's "history"...
with journalism and... "journalism"....
              last time i heard...
a louis XIV made it into the t.v. with...
a sidekick show of Versailles...
eh... Phillip II Augustus...
    "perhaps"... just "perhaps"...
           the lion in winter... who the ****
ever happens to remember a historical
excavation fetish from 1968?!
it was only a ******* cameo!

not for the actor... the capetian!
JB Sep 2018
I was melting, right here, finding every. thing.,
a little (too) bright,uneven,on the couch,
when you called me I felt my
throat tighten- breathed in-

your name on a screen.

                                thesecondtolastring

“It­’s all about timing.”
#love #anxiety
Brycical Apr 2013
Someone once said,
"A good pun is it's own reword."

But a bad pun
makes me want to strangle a newborn kitten
and then dropkick it into the Cretaceous Period
where it will hopefully be eaten by a Velociraptor
then **** out in a pool of molten lava
and preserved under the earth for the rest of time
but forgotten and ignored by all.
Sienna Luna Jan 2016
It waits
for the exact moment
to lunge at its prey
hidden in the ferns and fauna
fangs like butcher knives
lodged deep in its throat
a gurgling sound is heard
through the dark shot of brush
whistling the trembling leaves.
And there’s not one or two,
but three of them, crouched low
so near to me that I can hear
their heavy reptilian nostrils
breathing in and out
they are my nightmares
ready to devour
but I am not scared
because they are only vicious creatures
in a dream
and I am a dinosaur wrangler
and I know what I’m doing.
Philomena Dec 2018
Velociraptor means "swift seizer"
And you have seized my heart
I have no idea when I am getting it back
If you even plan on returning it at all

You don't play fair
And if it came down to a fight you'd have me pinned in seconds
You leave me rather quite helpless
Cant run, cant hide, its like you read my mind

But despite it all I'm glad
Because for someone who has always been alone
It's nice to be part of a pack
No seriously please send help
A strawberry-blonde,
buck tooth, 
dinosaur lovin' kid
is the purest thing
I think I've ever been.
Anon May 2014
Upon the loss of the dinosaurs, so plentiful,
Back in the land before time when life wasn’t so dull,
Tall trees, blue skies, green grasses, deep dark water,
Nature as it was meant to be, with volcanoes that couldn’t be hotter.

This was the world you lived in before it came to an end.
A meteor? A flood? Maybe. But obviously it was something you could not mend.
Velociraptor, T-Rex, Triceratops, you’re all gone.
A species once so valiant, nobody stood in their way, not one.

Shaping some of the animals we have today, dinosaurs are like, square one.
From a 40ft menace to a lone iguana, isn’t evolution fun?
The highlight of the prehistoric era,
If you think I’m awkward because of my enthusiasm for dinos, then call me Michael Cera.

Like a bad ending to a good movie,
Your demise was something that nobody wanted to see.
The world would be a better place with a dinosaur here and there.
Some people wouldn’t be a fan, but does it sound like I care?

I think every single dinosaur is badass,
Even the herbivores that only eat grass.
If you’re the type of person that’s glad dinosaurs are dead,
Then I wish it was YOU that was hit by the meteor instead.
my first dinosaur sonnet got me in trouble with my then english teacher. it was rough. so i wrote a second one.
Irma Cerrutti Mar 2010
**** all, **** all, **** all
Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams
**** all, **** all, **** all

There's **** all you can rip off that can't be ripped off
****** all you can spit that can't be spat
**** all you can jabber but you can wot how to fiddle the velociraptor
Page—3 girl's always ready for a chat

There's **** all you can **** that can't be ******
No one you can stuff that can't be stuffed
Sweet **** all you can ***** but you can wot how to vegetate you swanky metronome
Über—babe's loose

All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams
**** all is all you need

**** all, **** all, **** all
Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams
**** all, **** all, **** all

All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams
**** all is all you need

There's **** all you can have carnal knowledge of that isn't *****
**** all you smell that isn't uncorked
Thumbs down on the spot you lunch box be on the spot that isn't on the spot you're meant rubbing shoulders be spot on
Blonde's thick
All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams
**** all is all you need

All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all
All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams
**** all is all you need
****** all is all you need
That is all you thirst
That is all you lust
That is all you desiderium
That is all you la nostalgie de la boue
Copyright © Irma Cerrutti 2009
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
.lex lupus / fuchs zwischen wölfe: ******* Mowglí, somehow... death to the pirate, the one-eyed... Dajjal and the "concept" of money... Tom Petty died... Wayne Static died... the media? zero coverage... so... it's not like they care.. but when they do care, i care: in order to not care.

you do know
that if you keep pushing
the wrong buttons,
the lone wolf phenomenon,
will become a wolf pact,
a lex lupus...
  you know that, don't you?
it would take 3 ****** Jihadi
terrorists to take out 71 civilians...
it takes
   one lone wolf Norwegian
to take out 69 civilians...
   we. are, horde...
    **** your little get-together
wine parties...
i'd rather shove a shoe lodged
into a pineapple up my ***,
than listen to this sort of *******...
better dead,
than having to attempt a death
while. "trying"...
but wolves do not hunt in groups...
well...
some sorry ******* to howl
at the moon!
who did what?
is there any proof?
there isn't any proof?!
so... what's the argument?!
       none...
          so...
       batman lego movie
giggles all over again?
you irritated me,
just to say this much about
falling in love
with Val Kilmer!
       lone wolves...
          who's who...
Mr. Speaker / Chief Whip?!
it takes about 3 Jihadis...
to **** as many people
as a "lone wolf" Norwegian...
i was just about
to mind the I.Q. test...
    wolves don't hunt
outside a pact of a brigade...
wolves are the closest
associate of the velociraptor...
shove a fox among them?
52 people died from
3 Jihadi associates...
     Breivik killed 77 people...
see the ratio?
wolves are not solitary
animals...
       they have a pact...
foxes... foxes are solitary
creatures...
thought it was the plain said,
otherwise reiteration
of the "already" said obvious;
so no mention of Jihadi
retards?! no? nothing?!
3 Jihadists killed less people
than a single Norwegian...
oh my... oh my my...
    please keep these idiots
on the beach, in the desert,
herding sheep or what not...
         keep them busy engaged in
harems...
or whatever the **** they
get up to...
      please... keep them away from
what is becoming a sensation of:
a boiling kettle.
**** me in The Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. We’ll rut around in the artificial grass, taking in the beautiful world God created just 6000 years ago. Adam & Eve will pass us knowing glances and smiles while a velociraptor stands idly by, chewing on greenery. I know He says it’s an Abomination, but you’re just so god ****** cute and the talking snake says it’s cool. When we’re finished, Eve will ask if we’re hungry. She’ll hand me a shining red apple.
Kenna  Aug 2012
Steel Bullet
Kenna Aug 2012
I watched a bullet shooting straight,
shooting straight at me.
It spiraled, twisted and danced.
Then smiled with a grin so wide it ripped at the seams.
It growled and pushed straight on.
I pursed my lips to hold the scream.
It fought through the air
slashing with its teeth.
I would not run.
I would not duck.
I would not try to shield myself.
I would stare the bullet down.
Never waver, never shake, never show a trace of fear.
I stared and stared the bullet down.
That doesn't mean it fell.
It pushed through the air with velociraptor speed.
Then found its mark between my eyes.
And next thing I know...
I'm lying down.
I'M DEAD.
Steel Bullet is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

— The End —