Confession:
I'm not entirely a boy.
I'm in between genders right now.
Somewhere found in the cracks and crevices
underneath our ever crumbling binary.
A toss up between a proud queer girl,
and a fairy gay boy.
Yes sir,
But not a man.
Along the lines of
Prince and Princess,
Both King and Queen.
Don't call me a *** or **** -
Call me Genderfuck.
A concept you can't quite pinpoint,
At least it's an accurate depiction of your ignorance.
Genderpunk;
an identity wrapped up in style.
Androgyne -
A word that is not entirely girl
Not entirely boy,
But has elements of both.
I'm pushing away from women
when people put it on me.
It's dysphoric and uncomfortable.
So I run towards guy,
Phonetically and conceptually.
I want something other than human,
Not exactly person,
Alien, celestial or ethereal being
of which there is no words necessary.
Something...other.
But Agender rejects the concept entirely.
And I do not want to abandon the idea
that there is a word out there for me.
A community like me.
And before I hear any rhetoric about
having 'too many labels',
Let me just say:
If cats have taught me anything,
There is a huge difference between
Being put in a box,
And putting yourself in a box.
My ideal gender is something like feeling
part women, part dude -
not entirely male -
and part non-binary,
All simultaneously.
This may come as a surprise
But I do not deny my lady-like qualities.
I see strong, realistic female
representation
And I rejoice.
I feel part of that team.
I experience sexism and misogyny,
and I recognize how others perceive me;
as a girl.
Well in the context of a ******* girl relationship
Girlfriends doesn't seem that bad.
Being a butch lesbian,
or gay girl -
a feminine boy,
bisexual guy.
Though, I'm never a man.
Just something dancing along the edges,
Picking and choosing the flowers I am drawn to.
Ultimately something queer.
I want more access to words,
different types of non-binary,
A broader third category.
Six, Eleventh and,
Twentieth gender options.
Otherwise I'm caught gendering myself, always.
God or Goddess?
Mermaid or Merman?
Sure there's also merperson, merbabe,
godev, princev...
Referring to oneself - zeself?
As a magical being works.
Fae, Faerie,
Fae, Fem(me), Faer
pronouns would be cool
I just don't want to fully surrender
to being a girl.
Even though I know
there's no shame in it,
it still feels wrong,
It's misgendering
when I'm called "Miss" or "She".
I feel like crawling out if my skin
when I'm being forced into anything
womanly
Even though I have no
real quarrel with the concept.
I'm just uncomfortable with pronouns
and all the words around it.
I am anti-girl, negagirl,
the opposite of female
but not necessarily guy.
I am running away from cis-ness,
Cis-ciety.
And that's okay,
It's absolutely alright to feel this way.
The world told you what you were entirely
Based on your reproductive organs,
And doesn't that just sound a little funny?
Being trans doesn't have to mean
being at war with your body.
It doesn't mean you're born into a special group
A cool club, where others are barred access.
It means thinking critically
and wanting to redefine, redesign,
The way you are seen,
The way you see yourself,
and reclaim something
that was taken from you.
Folx, gender is fun.
It is fluid, and it changes,
it ages,
It starts to mean different things.
What you feel for now
doesn't have to be forever.
Move past the boundaries
others have set for you.
I encourage you to find your own
Trans doesn't have to be right
or wrong for you,
That's up to you to discover.
Just know you have options.
There's 7 billion people on this planet
So that's the possibility for 7 billion genders
And sexes.
Yes, that's a spectrum too.
***** and ***** are not the only thing
That defines you.
Think critically about the things
people have force fed you.
As for me,
I am a different breed of dude.
Not dad or father,
nor lady or daughter.
I fit with brother, guy, sir & gentlemen.
Call me fae, goth, punk, merhunk
and royalty.
Today I am a blank slate
A canvas I always have the potential to recreate.
Call me Damon.
That is my gender of the day.