Oh the irony
The ******* irony of it all
Once I believed
That I did not deserve happiness
How could I
Always too...... something
Too weak too sad
Too small too bad
Pitiful, vulnerable, broken, shy, damaged
Too much..... too

You told me
Yes you did my darling
You told me that I was
I deserved it the most you said
Out of anyone you said
I did you said
You said
You said
You gave me courage to chase my happiness
Yes
MY happiness

Turns out though that my happiness is also yours
Yours too
Or rather it is..... you
But now you are going to leave
What a hysterical hell I’ve found myself burning in
What a shame what a joke
The laughter in my head is drowning my thoughts
The black water swallows me

The fool dances around the court for laughs but still dies in the sewer at night
Give it all away and keep dancing
Maybe one day it will be enough
Make them happy because he knows true sadness

How could I ever believe that I could deserved happiness when I can’t even make myself happy

Ive played myself like worn out vinyl
The song we’ve heard so many times that it’s become obsolete and boring
I do this every time so when will I learn
that I just need to be happy
with what I have
It’s futile to chase what isn’t really there

So chase your dreams my love
Don’t let me hold you back
I’d never forgive myself
If I kept you from your happiness
Go chase it my darling
I’ll be here
Mourning the loss of mine
Slow dancing in the dark with the ghost of you until the day you return to me

Acetone*

I don't hesitate like I used to;
I know nothing of grey,
grey knows nothing of me.
You're a cigarette lighter,
your name slowdancing in my mind,
a violent waltz.

I tiptoed around you,
afraid to be set ablaze
but now my extinguisher's
not working
and I can't help but hold your gaze.

I've been told we're too young,
too young to set ourselves alight,
and too fragile for exposure.
But I also know if I'd never tried
I would have never found closure.