I always have this urge of losing myself 
And I keep on thinking what would happen if all my thoughts were put on a backyard sale 
Will someone buy it? 
Or just ignore such devastated and ruined thoughts. 

It's too late to be forever together 
My thoughts speak evil about your existence 
Those little demons under my bed are terrified 
They don't want you around me anymore. 

Let me loose for a while hear the birds singing 
Lay on the grass let the sun burn my face in the morning hour gold rush, try to understand this complex words i wrote for a devil.

Flying monkey in the sky
Clapping legs pulling sight 
Shining shadow beaming light 
Drowning sea is that right 
Talking mind lips so dry
Spinning, spinning 

Are you all right? 
Yes, this tiny crushed leaves 
playing games in my head  
They speak different languages 
They make no sense 
My words jump over the wall
Fluffy clouds over my skin

Focus, focus 
Straight, straight 
Closing eyes, closing eyes 

I can still hear colour popping 
Mind murmuring leaving tail
Laughing me so amusing 
Pixilated visions 
Blank.

I sat with the pictures
in my hand
that once loved me
memories started to burn
under my skin
I rolled the paper took the
longest line in one breath
Eyes red
am i still alive
dose the stars still shine
why the heaven doesn't have
rainbows all over
earthlings are still walking
on the lane of my dreadful past

I'm tired
I'm still alive
will burn again
for now i
closed my eyes.

Let's run away
into the wild
with our little love
where you can be
any flower you want to be
and i will be your soil to grow.

©sarcasticbong

I have to tell you something. 

It's not the first time, 
I have slit my wrist with my favourite knife, watch it spill over the bathtub, and then covered it up with the stickers from my collection. 

It's not the first time, 
I have tried to jump off from the 9th floor of that abandoned building near our playground but the guard always caught me, maybe I need to find a new building.

It's not the first time, 
Love had knocked my door even before 
It was bright at first and then it went to be dark and darker, it made tears rolled down somewhere beneath the skin, heart have cried and cried no one could see it. 

©sarcasticbong

I was loved thrice
The first time it happened, it left me with a broken heart taught lessons worth to learn for the one or many more to come,
Made me forgot my own reflection and left with a pair of small words 'you will get someone better than me' has been on loop in my head since then.

I was loved thrice
The second time it walked in the lane, it promised to never leave the home, it tried to fix lost pieces of the broken heart, and gave hope of a new moon, but then left with a more complexed pieces of broken heart and bones to survive in a sky with no stars.

I was loved thrice
The third time it came with a crown, no words were exchanged it made all those love songs meant something again, taught me to stand with those broken bones, talks were never ending and time took a break of it's work.

...and like that I was loved thrice but fell in love once.

©sarcasticbong

I would go blank fall in dark,
Would fight with your God every single day,
Try to sleep in the bed covered with thrones.

Starve until the stomach eat itself,
Stare until all the stars fall apart,
Cry until eyes bleed to death,

Try out evey drug that makes me believe you  still exists,
If things doesn't work baby Don't worry,
I would try to **** myself multiple times,
Maybe finally **** myself and be with you.

©sarcasticbong