Of course I’m serene
My demeanor is quiet
I’m calm
Because inside
If you could hear inside my head
You’d find endless screaming
Guttural, agonized
Chaotic

So if you want me to function
This is what you get
I’ll stuff my demons inside
And present what I can
But don’t get me wrong,
Most of my energy is spent
Keeping them at bay

I don’t want to be sober
I’d give anything to get out of my head

How is it
That just about anyone
Can get just about anything
Except me
I’d take anything
And I have nothing

Empty city streets
birds cooing on building-tops
beggar searches bins

When life has lost its very voice
where would be found the day's joys?

Silent are the fields
not a passer does walk by
barking of two dogs

I will look in
no longer out
though the day runs thin
and dark is every cloud-

life now has a lethal viral tint
that erupts in ugly measureless bout
disasters roll out from that ceaseless mint
even our strongest and bravest have lost their clout.

i've now
realized the fear
of every newlywed

because

now i know
i married
the wrong person

I’m pretty sure I’m actually a nuisance, and the few people who bother to let me stay around would prefer to not have me

Empty the mind
   the right course you will find